It was an innocuous question posted on Plurk by Vandalin:
You see a man and woman arguing on the street, and the guy starts grabbing the girl and shaking her around. Step in / don’t step in?
It was my basic assumption from the question that the two are in a relationship. As such, I had posted my reply that I will not step in. My participation in that plurk would have been just that much, until I decided I should explain my reasons for not stepping in (perhaps more than once) – People have to live with the consequences of their choices. The girl would have to live with the consequences of her choice of the guy. Since she has chosen this guy, this is part of the package. Among the responses to the Plurk, there was another person who also took a similar stand as mine (though without being as detailed in her response) and yet got no flak at all while two other people also mentioned they would not intervene, with one jokingly suggested that the couple may just be doing this deliberately for some reasons.
Why my rather thoughtless comment created a maelstrom which soon I get sucked for I really have no idea. I can’t help but feel I was picked on and singled out, after I was subsequently told by a friend that the entire group of them were already acquainted with one another from the already once notorious Cowboy Bar – which at some point in the past was an online wretched hive of scum and villainy. But if you asked how I felt about the entire event, it was like I had stepped on some dog poo and then the dog poo ensured I was engulfed in a foul stench for the entire duration it stuck to me.
However, I must admit I did not expect the comment not to sit well with some female plurkers. I should have expected it since my female friends would have expect me to offer help if they are in that situation. However, there is a distinct difference between friends and strangers. Either way, one particular female plurker who objected to my reasons simply said she had expected that I should help because I can, regardless of how silly or stupid it will make me look. I am expected to act right there and then because I won’t get a second chance – if something happens. She strongly objected to my stand that it was her own problem and no one should do anything based on the ‘conditions’ (or available information) stated in the original question. The other female Plurker thought it was appalling that there are still people who believed like I did. (When was the last time she got out to the real world?)
It was then alluded that I am the kind who felt that if a woman is violated, I would blame her for wearing a short skirt or exposing clothing. It was an amazing and insane extrapolation from a comment I had made, and yet they could not, and obviously has not, done the same for the situation described in the question. For e.g.
- – the girl might be a shop lifter, the shopkeeper caught up with her and so he turned her around and in his rage shakes her, demanding to know where she had hid the item; or
- – the guy could be a brother, the girl is on high on drugs. Desperate, the brother was turning her and shaking her to try and wake her up; or
- – the guy was begging the girl not to leave him after she made the decision to break up; or
- – the girl could be a prostitute who stole the money of her client while he was showering, and the guy is now confronting her after he caught up with her.
It also doesn’t matter that some women will not leave some scum even after repeatedly hurt. Granted we’ll never know what is going on unless we asked, but I was answering a question based on the known conditions. As far as I am concerned, if it happens in the public the girl will call for help if it is needed. When she hasn’t or wouldn’t call for help – even when I give the guy a stare for his obviously ungentlemanly actions – then it warranted no further action until some form of physical violence has occurred, for e.g. slapping, or the throwing of a punch. It was also an indication that she could handle it alone. On top of which if she doesn’t know how to shake the guy lose and seek help, then it was obvious to me that she didn’t need it. If there are other guys who believed it warranted action, that is fine by me, and everyone is free to choose whether to help or not.
The exchange with these two female plurkers isn’t bad at all, after all their objection was understandable. It was the comments of some of those who joined later, and start poking fire with nothing meaningful to contribute to the exchange other than to throw insults and comments meant to pick a fight that was the real nuisance.
What transpired in that plurk (and some other online arguments) reminded me once again that to local netizens just expressing their objection is not enough, they want to deny me my views completely. While doing so they also expect my complete submission no matter what my reasons and justifications to my views were. The more I say, the more they can expand on it to ‘justify and confirm’ the superiority of their stand, their self-righteousness and their pre-conceived low opinion of me simply because I do not share their views, and will not do what they think is the right thing to do. Perhaps it has got something to do with our education system
Such occurrences, makes me wonder at time whether it is worth it at all to share an opinion online since some people apparently allows no different opinion other than their own simply because they think your opinion is stupid or unacceptable. It doesn’t matter they weren’t the one who asked for opinions in the first place, and no one has even cared to object to them. It also suggests to me why online opinion can be so single-sided against our government gahmen while election results – even in Single Member Constituencies – turned out drastically different: pro-gahmen or even neutral opinions are simply shouted down and drowned out until those who shared them can’t be bothered anymore.
It was simply nothing more of an exercise of ‘conform or die’. For my entire life, I have never backed down from a**holes like these and I always choose to go down fighting even in spite of whatever names and labels they can conceive. The irony is that they wouldn’t even see themselves as some kind of cyberspace terrorists while they were enjoying their cyber-bullying. Of course, knowing that they could take things as far as they can without any real life repercussions, embolden some of these trolls to be as nasty as they could. Until the day their real life and identity gets splashed all over the Internet with their online action tied to it, will these online cowards finally know fear.
It once again reminds me why the gahmen has never held Internet opinion with in high regard. Our elected leaders may have been elitist, but rightfully so, after looking at the very childish behavior of some of the netizens, such as those I have encountered above.