Even bad users are better (II)…

I wouldn’t have made an issue out of just one case had the contractor not been with the company for almost 9 months. Even so, had she performed the other tasks to our satisfaction without some of those tasks ending up with us because it has dragged on for days until my line manager has to reassign it to us, I wouldn’t really give a shit. Simply put, as long as the work is done, there is no reason to complain about the quirks of others!

Here are more examples of her dismal performance.

  1. Opval Installation
    Opval is a program that one of the commodities trader B said he required to do his job. Surprisingly it has never been used in the Singapore office until recently. So after getting the install instructions from our contact J in London, I passed on the task for her to do. It was a relatively easy task, just run setup.exe. Or so I think!

    Unfortunately, J gave the wrong instructions for the first install so it didn’t install properly. She tried to reinstall it using the new instructions but for some odd reasons it will say its completed without an error but no traces of the program can be found anywhere – and that is for both the remove and repair features as well. And without even attempting to find a solution to this situation, she came straight to my colleague and I and asked us where the registry keys are when we also have no prior experience with Opval.

    I am personally shocked (on top of being annoyed) that she didn’t even consider using the search feature of the registry editor. Simply put, she expects us to do the thinking and give her the instructions when she faces a problem. There was never any attempts of her own.

    We thought we can make some people learn by leaving them to swim or drown. So we told her we have no idea what the keys are in hope she’ll find a solution on her own. In spite of this, she made no further attempt to find the solution other than one email to J. When J didn’t reply – probably as frustrated as we are – she didn’t even bother to continually pester the guy for an update even though she said she’s doing that in an email to my very head of department. While this predicament is no fault of her own (since J’s original instructions were to blame), it is the lack of initiative to seek solutions that really annoys me. In the end, my line manager instructed me to sort this out because the user has written an email pleading for a solution. I must give it to the user for his patience!

    And the solution? It was as we thought: a matter of using the search feature in the registry editor to find entries related to the program and delete them. After those entries were removed, the setup program runs without any glitches.

    Foreign talent? More like fallen talent. And a fallen talent who always remember to clear the call log on her desk phone everyday before she leaves to hide all her private chit chats but would forget all the outstanding tasks the next day she comes to the office!

  2. Secretary C’s feedback
    The secretary was rather upset she was scolded by one of the managers when the contractor failed to turn on the video conference equipment on time and establish the proper connections even after being notified. And the secretary was adamant all her notifications were received because our contractor had accepted all the appointments in Outlook. Of course I didn’t fail to notice that on occasions she actually remembered to go and turn on the equipment, my other colleague had either reminded her or give her specific instructions to do so.

    And this complaint came in on the day after I took urgent leave because I lost my wallet. And right behind it, the secretary told me she had told the contractor to rectify a problem with a Fuji-Xerox color printer. The secretary was upset she has not gotten any updates on the matter until the next day and she was not happy that she needs to collect her printouts from another department’s color printer. She subsequently wrote an email demanding for a status update and only them did the contractor get her ass down to call and check on the vendor. Yet all the while she was at her desk and there were no other outstanding tasks!

    If that’s not a lack of responsibility or failure to take ownership of tasks, I don’t know what to call it.

  3. Citrix Icons
    The company has decided to move some of the services to our office in Europe. My guess is that it is to reduce some of the synchronisation and replication problems which has been plaguing us for a long time. Colleague M from the application support team emailed us – the desktop support team – and asked us to set up the Citrix icons for several users to test the remote access connectivity between the Singapore office and the server in Europe.

    As I had expected, our contractor ignored the email as usual, and I picked it up and find out the necessary settings for this task.

    Having done that, I tested it out myself, and then informed the contractor to carry out the task, with detailed instructions attached. I gave her specific instructions to do it first for one group of users, because their tasks are not time critical. I copied M on the mail and expected the contractor to exercise initiative and work with him to do it for the remaining users.

    To my horror, M came to me 2 days later and said his line manager is pressing him for an update and things are not moving. When I asked the contractor about the status, I was exasperated to discover that user N’s was still outstanding, because ‘N had no time for her to do it’. And it was the day before when N told her that.

    WTF?! I am utterly shocked she didn’t even inform the user that this is just a 5 – 10 minutes tasks at most and it is not even disruptive – i.e. needing a system reboot. Must I even give her specific datelines to complete her tasks? Why can’t she apply the same enthusiasm she had for her private calls to the tasks assigned to her?

  4. Hummingbird Exceed Connection
    User H reported that he couldn’t connect to a server using this client software. Our dear contractor went over, took at look at it, and came back and told me that no program was assigned to deal with the icons (which I already know!).

    Even while she has no experience with Exceed, to assign a program to deal with a file type is a simple Windows function. The easiest way to find out what program to open it would be to check another user’s system, and how to do it could be found by searching Google for the solution!

    Sadly, I had to tell her that and she was back in a jiffy about another problem which prevents her from doing so. Frankly, this would have been the same result had I gave the user the same instructions over the phone! I was wondering why we paid her to relay messages! Let me go check if there’s a Cisco tag somewhere… maybe she’s a router!

    While in the real problem was with the installation, I have never ceased to wonder just how in the world she managed to convince someone she’s right for this job!!

Anyway, I thank God that both my direct line manager and my Head of Department sees eye to eye with me on this matter and agreed that a replacement would be the best course of action. I also came to find out that quite a while ago another user, P, had already feedback to them and even to our regional head in Tokyo (!!!) about her.

Hopefully, by the end of April – and hopefully even earlier – I would see the last of her and my agony will end. Of course, with the arrival of a new contractor, I wish that will be the end all those incessant private chit chats and also the need to babysit a big baby!

Either way, since she liked phone calls so much, she should seek alternate employment… maybe as some boss’ secretary, or a receptionist or… with Comfort Delgro.

Even bad users are better…

This is extracted from an SMS exchange this morning between me and the contractor on the team:

(0800 hrs) Contractor: “User R cannot launch Currenex. Gives Java error. Spoke to [Currenex] Helpdesk. Required version is 1.5. Version he has is 1.0. Error is unable to download jar file.”

(0812 hrs) My reply: “All version of Java on our systems are 1.5. No way they are 1.0. You are also IT. Do not expect me to think of all the solutions for you.”

(0820hrs) Contractor: “I have no idea about the java problem nor the appl. I am looking for solutions. Probably you can help him if I don’t find any. Thanks.”

I didn’t bother to reply further as I scream silently in frustration within myself on the office-bound MRT train. What good is she at all when she didn’t even ascertain the version of Java installed? When after more than half a year in our company, she still does not know the system environment, it makes one wonder just where the heck she’s been to all these while.

Furthermore, what solution is there to look when it is so obvious? The most basic thing to do when a Java Webstart application fail is to delete away all the cached components and download them all over again. And that information the Currenex Helpdesk would be happy to provide!

If she would put even a fraction of the time she spent on her own private phone calls [in her own native language] – allegedly important as it deals with her permanent residency in Singapore – all of these problems will be solved in 30 minutes or so. And damn this is not the first time an easy task like that she doesn’t seem enthusiastic enough to solve!

And finally, it was fixed after 2pm when the user handed over his exposure and risks to the European side. This is his feedback before he called it a day:

16:10 User R it’s all fine now mate, thanks alot

16:10 User R why can the girl not sort these things out? whenever i ask her to help me, she doesnt seem to know what i am talking about.. and u fix it in five minutes

 * sigh * I don’t know to cry or laugh looking at my user’s comment.

It’s not because anyone of us is that good or superb. It’s simply we are more willing and we showed more enthusiasm in hunting for the solution and not expect it to come from a fairy god-mother or to fall from the sky like the proverbial goo lan [aka Cow’s Penis] the Hokkiens talked about.

I must really say, even a bad user is better than help that is no help at all.

2210hrs on a Sunday…

At Outram MRT transferring from the NE-Line after dinner at Vivo City and the west bound trains were packed as hell. Some people couldn’t even get onto the train and they have to wait for the next one.

The next train came at 2217hrs – 7 full minutes later. This is how packed it is in this train, even at the second cabin – the blue colored section – from the front. And this is already near one end of the station for goodness sake!! Frankly, I don’t mind even when it come at 11 mins, but the minimum requirement would be that the train can be boarded!

And this isn’t even peak hours!! It’s late evening on a Sunday. Really ‘Worse Class’ transport! Come on, Raymond Lemon Lim, come use this for one year, 2 times a day, 365 days a year and then come back and tell me how world class it is. (Photos taken with Blackberry 8100 Pearl.)

Of Mas Selamat and Horsies…

I noticed that the local Chinese media has started to call Mas Selamat Kastari – ‘The Lame Horse’ (跛脚马). I can’t help but remember Sea Biscuit.

It is almost comical for them to call Mas Selamat that. After all, if Mas Selamat is still on the island, he has managed to elude our security forces for 5 days! I just hope this isn’t prophetic in itself in which Mas Selamat, like Sea Biscuit, recovers and come back to become a legend in which we used to scare our kids just like the ancient Romans do with the Carthaginian general, Hannibal.

And to modify the famous Deng Xiaoping famous ‘cat saying’ a little to suit the situation, I say: 不管跛脚黑马、汗血宝马… 能逃走就是好马。[Translation: It doesn’t matter if it’s lame horse or flying horse… the horse that can escape is a good horse.]

再说,到了今天你都抓不到,还不丢官,人民真的得 ‘丢’ 你 ‘黄’ 阿玛!(And this I really don’t know how to translate and yet keep the humor of it. But the gist of it is, ‘If you still don’t resign after failing to catch him for so many days, the people should fxxk Wong’s ‘Ah Ma’. 阿玛 in Manchurian means Father, and 玛 and 马 sounds almost the same, so pun intended.)

And as I was writing this post, my dad came into my room and showed me an article on Shin Ming (the evening Chinese tabloid), which reported that a structural flaw in the Whitley Road ISD facility has since been fixed after Mas Selamat’s escape.

Well, while the Chinese might say that it’s not too late to mend the fence after the loss / demise of one’s sheep (亡羊补牢,为时未晚), I must ask why when even a member of the YPAP like Nicholas Lazarus – a laughing stock and the butt of many jokes after this piece – would know that Mas Selamat is the leader of JI and thus extra-ordinary, our 3 million dollar mini$ter with helicopter vision – and allegedly one of the best talent that this country can offer, according to the Tali-PAP – has failed to even see this. Is this not more reason why Wong Kan Seng Can’t Sing should resign? It is obvious he has lost his edge and perhaps the Tali-PAP should put Lazarus on the job instead. In fact, just why the heck was Mas Selamat kept in a facility that isn’t even rated as maximum security in the first place? Frankly, even the Singapore Boys Home with its 2-storey tall walls – for rehabilitation and reform of incorrigible youth – looked far more challenging to anyone trying to escape.

In other words, whoever made the decision to keep this guy at the Whitley Road facility has fxxked up. If it’s not Mr Can’t Sing himself, then whoever this useless bum is, should resign! But yet, we haven’t seen anyone who has exercised the moral courage to resign, and this is completely shameful when we are now a international joke as far as security matters are concerned.

The failure of this person to take responsibility and the lack of guts to offer to resign is almost as shameful as the Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian who continually refused to step down in spite of the numerous scandals that is plaguing him!

For the sake of this ball-less wonder, he better pray to whatever gods he believed in that Mas Selamat be caught soon. I am wondering how this psychological eunuch would be able to sleep soundly when Mas Selamat pulls off a big one in any other part of South East Asia, if not Singapore itself. But again, maybe he can always drown his conscience by giving himself a higher paycheck in the next mini$terial or civil service pay hike.

And before I forget, all these posters, MMS, and advertisement will cost the country a lot of money. Can we charge that all to Mr Can’t Sing’s cost centre and deduct it from his pay?

Wong Can’t Sing 倒す!!

A foul up and all we get is an apology!

Home Affairs Minister Wong Wua Kan Seng has cited a lapse in security at the Whitley Detention Centre on Wednesday as the cause for the escape of Jemaah Islamiyah (JI) member Mas Selamat Kastari.

He told MPs, who had raised the matter in Parliament, that Mas Selamat had been taken from his cell to another part of the detention centre for a visit from his family. He then asked to be allowed to visit the toilet, where he escaped.

“This should have never have happened. I am sorry that it has,” said Mr Wong in an update to the House, adding that an independent investigation is underway.

Is that all you can offer Singapore, after this guy has escaped, Wong? With 3 million Singapore dollars of pay p.a., an apology is not good enough. If you have any sense of shame and responsibility at all, you should just resign and shut the hell up for a long time. (Though personally, I would prefer you use a store room somewhere in Parliament house to commit hara-kiri to atone for your disgraceful failures!)

Recalled how George ‘Warmonger’ Bush failed to follow up on intelligence on Osama bin Laden? We all knew what happened on September 11, 2001. I’m going to hold you personally responsible if Mas Selamat managed to pull off a big one after this escape. So, if there are any personal god you believed in, I suggest you put on your sack cloth, act downcast, and fast and pray for the next 40 days that Mas Selamat will be caught!

Frankly, this is not the first time the Home Team has fxxked up. All these for show patrols at the MRT doesn’t make one feel any safer when it has been fxxk ups after fxxk ups since 2004. I have completely lost confidence in the security forces of this country. It’s high time someone admit he has fxxked up and stop shamelessly taking his 3 million dollar annual pay and seek lateral career shift, preferably in Zimbabwe or some other war torn, strife infested African country.

Here’s 3 of recent Home Team boo-boos:

  1. Took Leng How – (exerpt from Wikipedia) On 21 October 2004, when the police officers escorting Took for another round of questioning (in connection with Huang Na’s disappearance) allowed him to drop by at a coffee shop for a meal en route, he went to the toilet and escaped through an open back door. He hailed down a taxi, and asked the driver to send him to the Woodlands Checkpoint. At the checkpoint, Took went to the bus station, where the gate between the roads for buses entering and leaving Singapore had been left open, and used this gate to go onto the road for buses leaving Singapore at 3:38 a.m. in the morning.
  2. Tan Chor Jin – Nicknamed ‘One-Eye Dragon’, Tan shook Singapore with the execution-style slaying of a 41-year-old businessman (nightclub owner Lim Hock Soon at his home in Serangoon) on February 15, 2006. Tan subsequently escaped to Kuala Lumpur, and was only arrested with the assistance of the Royal Malaysian Police Force. He was flown back to Singapore on March 1, 2006.
  3. Richard Yong – (exerpt from Wikipedia) Former NKF chairman, was declared bankrupt on May 16, 2007. After selling personal properties worth $7.5 million, Richard Yong left Singapore without permission early on the morning of May 17 but was arrested on Jul 4 2007 in Hong Kong and extradited back to Singapore on Aug 3 2007 where he was charged the next day for charges that the NKF levied on him as well as escaping from Singapore hours before being declared a bankrupt. Yong said that he had left to settle some personal matters.

And by the way, I didn’t even include the fact that the home team showed up with 4 anti-riot vehicles against some guys who put up some figurines at the Youth Corner to protest against Odex.

That’s a little obsessive display of force and a tad over-reacting, don’t you think?

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