Scammers! They do books too!

A friend who runs an online store told me on WLM (Windows Live Messenger) recently that some scammers were trying to pull a fast one on her. Here’s the chronology of events:

  • June 1, 2008 (Sunday) 2318hrs
    Friend received an email from an Andrew Goodluck (they can’t even be bothered to be more creative than that!) from the Benin Republic using the email account and_goodluck@yahoo.com requesting the price for 50 copies of the Standard Handbook for Electrical Engineers, Fourteenth Edition (ISBN 0071441468 / 9780071441468)

  • June 1, 2008 (Sunday) 2331hrs
    Already suspicious of the origins of the email, friend replied with a request for the shipment address before she would provide the cost information. It is reasonable since you might want to include shipping charges in the official quote as the buyer may still be genuine.

  • June 2, 2008 (Monday) 2039hrs
    The scammers replied, informing my

    friend that they wanted the Fifteenth Edition instead, with the following address information:

    ABLS Limited
    Attn Kenneth Ejike
    Siege Cimetiere Habitat
    Face Station Akpakpa
    Route De Porteo-Novo.
    Cotonue,
    Benin Republic.
    Western Africa

    Is it not already obvious by now this might be just some kind of the Nigerian Scam?

  • June 3, 2008 (Tuesday) 1243hrs
    Either my friend is bored and she is looking for some comedy, or she is still hoping that this is a genuine customer. She gave him a proper quotation, roughly about $8000 in total, and asks for ‘Andrew’ to TT (telegraphic transfer) the amount to her before she delivers them.

  • June 4, 1989 2008 (Wednesday) 2011hrs
    The scammers replied (I quote, without correcting the grammar and spelling mistakes!):

    Thanks for your load down information. But I want to let you know that we have lost so much to online sellers, who request for payment upfrontly just like you did and when payment is received they withhold the goods and money. For this reason, we have resolve to always bring in our bank while trying to purchase on the internet. I will advice you contact my bank through email address: barcleys_wire.trans@account.com we bank with barclays bank.London. I have also forward this transaction to them, hopefully they will contact you before tommorrow runs out.
    muc regard
    Andrew Goodluck

    Damn. Do they think we are really stupid? And why would Barclays not use an email from their own domain name? Not to mention the obvious mistake of spelling their own company name wrong? For goodness sake, my friend who works in OCBC Security gets an ocbcsec.com email address, and Barclays Premier League is not some obscure thing from the planet Sirius Secundus!

  • June 4, 2008 (Wednesday) 2052hrs
    Now my friend is really amused, and so she decided to disturb them by replying them with a fake address she created on her own on the .biz domain. And we thought the story will end here! Just how wrong we are!!

It was to her immense amusement when she received this email (see below)!


For a clearer copy: download PDF copy here

Man, they really try so hard to make it look authentic. So hard that unless you aren’t net savvy (or you are exceptionally stupid or desperate for business), you will have figured out that it’s a fake right away.

To think of it, from Andrew Goodluck, to barcleys, and finally barclary, it would seem to me that they were all along leaving hints to you: We are scammers, Don’t fall for it!

Thieves honor? I really do not know. And I wonder just how much effort they need to go through before they even get one fellow stupid enough to fall for it, and I wonder just how they are going to get some money out of my friend from this, since it’s her asking for the money now.

Either way, no one wanted to risk it by providing account information. For all we know the account might just end up plundered. We both just had a freaking good laugh looking at it and agreed to share this with everybody so they can have a good laugh too.

[Humor] Caution: John Terry

The heart-broken ones who had watched the Champion’s League match on Thursday morning, they will understand… this ‘joke’. In fact, I suppose ManUre should have this at Old Trafford whenever they clean toilets.

It was to me, one of the most heart wrenching match to watch, even more heart wrenching than seeing Zidane sent off for his head-butt in the World Cup match against Italy Sh-italy.

Thank you very much, John Terry, for losing the Champions League cup to ManUre. All you need to do was to score that last penalty and you didn’t. So, whether Avrant Grant will still stay as Chelsea Chel-ski Manager, or someone else will take over, it is high time to sell of John Terry… if not have someone more capable replace him as Chel-ski captain.

To laugh or to cry? (II) 之 不识字

The following is the transcript of a conversation on an instant messenger between my friend and I some time last week. He recounted the events which transpired when his uncle tried to get some assistance from his MP during the weekly ‘Meet the People’ session.

And as usual you never get to really meet out ‘elite talents’ from the Tali-PAP in any of those sessions. Who his uncle met was just one of those people giving their time to ‘serve the people party’ .

Friend said: tell u update of my uncle’s meet mp story. after going to ask for aid on Monday, they post out a letter dated 22 Apr, ask him come for appt with long list of document on 24 Apr. 2 day! of coz miss then i call back yesterday, ask for postpone i told them he 不识字*, so wait till i visit him then see the letter she reply “but i got attached chinese version wat” now then i know … know chinese is also call 不识字

Me says (18:06): I just read the 2nd part of your uncle meet MP story this morning. KNN now I then know “know chinese” is NOT 不识字 lol

Friend says (18:06): ya lor.

Friend says (18:07): or the other way

Me says (18:07): Oh.. sorry.. I mean 不识字 = cannot read English only. LOL

Friend says (18:07): only know chinese is also 不识字

Me says (18:07): what was the whole story about your uncle again? I cannot remember leow.

Friend says (18:08): he out of job… so my mum bring him to go to his MP wish to get aid… so when he was there… the officer (where got really see MP?) ask: so? wat u wan me to do?

Friend says (18:09): my mother say “help us write to 福利部… then he ask “write wat” hahha

Me says (18:09): -.-“

Friend says (18:09): anyway they were then on 21st evening…

[— This Part Has Been Harmonized 此部分已被和谐 —]

Friend says (18:09): so they VERY efficient… they write to him on 22nd … tell him got appointment for interview on the 24th

[— This Part Has Been Harmonized 此部分已被和谐 —]

Friend says (18:10): then in the letter dated 22nd, the appointment is 24th 3pm… so efficient

Friend says (18:11): then the letter also indicate can call us in need at xxxxxxx, if u dun turn up means u dun nid the assistance liao. but i only got to read the letter on 26 mah. so i call up on 27 ask for change appt…

Friend says (18:12): i say he 不识字… then she reply “but got chinese version attachment mah
Me says (18:12): DIEW… fxxking idiots.

Friend says (18:13): then i say “also 不识 chinese 字 ” hahah

Me says (18:13): I will blog abt this u know? I just won’t mention which MP or which constituency and will NOT give the info to anyone else who asked.

Friend says (18:13): then she say “huh? got such thing hahaha

Me says (18:13): -.-“

Friend says (18:16): then anyway i request to change to this friday lor…

Me says (18:16): She doesn’t understand what is TOTALLY illiterate… sigh

Friend says (18:16): then she still “oh… so u still need? ok lor hahha damn buay tahan. y ai also never say dun understand english

* 不识字 – literal meaning: ‘do not understanding writing’. But generally means that one is illiterate. This is not exactly the same as 没读书, which literal meaning is ‘never read books’. Generally used to convey the meaning that one is not educated (没受过教育).


Yet another example which left me perplexed. I don’t know to laugh or cry when my friend recounted this on IM.

It is of no wonder to me why the Chinese standards in Singapore is generally dismal. I have always considered calling a Northern Chinese dialect (Mandarin) our mother tongue one of the main reasons why we find no attachment to the language. After all, I define mother tongue as this: the tongue in my mother’s mouth, and the language she teaches me to speak – in my case, Cantonese.

Now I know the other reason: the lowly opinion some people have of the Chinese language being a language spoken and read by the illiterate. (Though I was under the impression that been illiterate would mean a complete lack of education.)

Anyway, I have censored harmonized the portion where I asked which MP and which GRC this is. It is not the MPs fault, since the fellow also doesn’t know. But after all being said, all these MPs should look into the attitude and the standard of the people they use to stand in their place. After all, they are serving in the MPs capacity and the people elected MPs to serve them. But these people are apparently doing the exact opposite!

A good reason for ‘lim jiu’…

Helping ugly people have sex since 1821

Now, that’s a damned good reason to lim jiu!!! And generally speaking, beer is just one of the alcoholic drinks to get your there. There are stronger ones to get your there even sooner, if that’s what you are looking for. 😛

And if you think you are handsome / beautiful and you won’t need that to help you, just take it as an enhancement to get you there even faster.

Talking about which… we should have a ping.sg lim jiu session one of these days. Maybe get foxtwo, arzhou and uzyn to do it together with one of arzhou’s home made brew… kekekeke….

And for the dirty minds out there… Don’t be disgusting!! The four of us are definitely not going to have sex with one another when we get high…

[Comic] Nicholas Tse confronts Cecilia about Lucas’ Paternity

I made this myself…


Words are blurry… click for full size

For the benefit of those who don’t understand Chinese, here’s the translation:

First pic
Nicholas: Bitch, I want the truth now! Whose baby is Lucas? Chen’s or Tse’s?
Cecilia: To be frank, I am also not sure. By the way, Jordan’s a Chen too…

Second pic
Edison Chen EdipR0n Chentuk: I am also not very sure if I am a Chen…

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