TGIF – Sorry I took so long…

Cute Stuff on the Internet

Downloaded this from YouTube… (And yes… I am no fan of Apple or Steve Jobs.)

The Low-Life Award


– that a 27-year-old trainee doctor at Tan Tock Seng Hospital has been charged with secretly filming a nurse in the shower. The incident took place on Jan 25 at 3.35pm in the staff rest room. The accused – identified by Chinese media reports as Chen Swee Chin – placed a digital camera inside a waist pouch in which he had made two holes, and hung it over the wall of the shower room. It was discovered by a staff nurse. Chen, a Permanent Resident from Malaysia, faces a charge of outrage of modesty. If convicted, he could be jailed for up to a year. (Should just have him paraded naked in public.)

The World Since the Last TGIF


– that Warmonger Bush commuted a 30-month jail term imposed on a former top White House aide, Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby, for lying to federal investigators in a case which highlighted doubts over the case for the war in Iraq. Libby, who was a former trusted aide to Vice-President Dick Cheney, still faces a hefty fine and two years in probation after being convicted in March of perjury and obstructing justice. A recent CNN poll had shown that 72% of the American public were against a full pardon for Libby. Meanwhile, senior opposition Democrats have condemned Warmonger’s decision. (Warmonger has no respect for the law. He might as well just crown himself Emperor.)

– that the U.S. House of Representatives voted to renew a ban on all imports from military-ruled Myanmar as part of sanctions for repressing democratic opposition and for human rights abuses. “Today’s vote to renew US import restrictions on the military regime in Burma (Myanmar) sends a clear message that those fighting for democracy and human rights in Burma do not stand alone in their struggle,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said after lawmakers unanimously adopted a resolution on the ban. (* YAWN *)

– that Barack Obama’s offer to meet without precondition with lea-duhs of renegade nations such as Cuba, North Korea and Iran touched off a war of words, with rival Hillary Rodham calling him naive and Obama linking her to Warmonger Bush’s diplomacy. (Obama for President! Go Obama!!)

– that America’s director of national intelligence announced in Washington, D.C., the U.S. is dropping a multibillion-dollar satellite program that engineers hoped would someday soar undetected above other nations. The move from the director of national intelligence comes after several years of congressional efforts to kill the program, known publicly as the next generation of ‘Misty’ satellites. The new satellite was to be a stealthy intelligence spacecraft designed to take pictures of adversaries and avoid detection. (One of the easiest way to make it ‘undetected’ is to fool your opponents into believing they were never made.)

– that China’s Ministry of Health published an announcement, explicitly regulating that human organ transplantation in China should first meet the needs of Chinese nationals, including those from Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan. According to the official website of the ministry, China will strictly forbid domestic medical institutions from luring foreigners to come to China for organ transplantation in the name of tourism. Medical institutions and doctors are also banned from going to foreign countries in the name of tourism to perform organ transplants. If there is really the need, foreigners should first file applications and run through the necessary procedures before undertaking such operations. (Even the Chinese is doing what is right, proper and moral. Eat that, Lee Wei Ling.)

– that Zhao Yanbing, a brickyard employee who confessed on television to killing a mentally-handicapped slave, was given the death penalty. The others got prison terms ranging from two years to life. The scandal surfaced last month after about 400 parents posted a plea on the Internet about their children, who had been sold into slavery in Shanxi and Henan provinces. Officials say that to date, 576 people have been rescued. (Sun Yat-sen would probably have wept in his grave hearing about slavery in modern China.)

– that Taiwan will further trim the number of troops guarding Kinmen Island off China’s south-east coast, as a way to ease tension in the Taiwan Strait. After the troop cut, the forces on Kinmen will be downsized from an ‘army’ to the smaller ‘corps’, and the top military command position on Kinmen will be will be changed from a major-general to a colonel. (Kinmen should just rejoin the mainland.)

– that a Singapore investment in Thailand that fuelled public protests culminating in the overthrow of Thaksin Tham-sim Shinawatra’s gover-min was ‘just business’, said General Sondhi Boonyarataklin, the architect of last year’s coup. Sondhi also backed away from claims made earlier this year that Singapore could use the assets to spy on the military, saying the accusation was part of ‘a strategy speech to make Thai people feel more protective about the country’s assets’. (More like a strategy to divert attention from some other matters that are more threatening to the junta.)

– that 400 more cops, 200 patrol cars and three district police headquarters – these are among the measures approved by the gover-min to change Johor’s image as Malaysia’s crime capital. Najib Razak told the Cabinet that he wanted the police and the Ministry of Internal Security to take immediate steps to fight the rising crime rate in the southern state, which is home to a special economic zone – the Iskandar Development Region [IDR]. (Even 4000 more cops would probably be no use.)

– that criminal gangs which have been terrorising Johor include those headed by Singaporeans, said Malaysian Inspector-General of Police Musa Hassan. Police have also identified seven gangster chiefs who are believed to have links with influential people and are in the process of taking action against them, reported The Star. “Many crime heads are from the state. Not only are locals involved but Singaporeans also control certain areas,” said Mr Musa, who was in Johor for a one-day working visit to discuss the crime situation with his men and Chief Minister Abdul Ghani Othman. (So? If you just found out recently, what have you been doing? Or if you found out a long time ago then what took you so long to act?)

– that Malaysia has slammed the EU ambassador in KL for meddling in the country’s internal affairs, saying that Mr Thierry Rommel’s criticism of its bumiputra policy was irresponsible. Malaysia’s envoy to Brussels will be conveying its displeasure over Mr Rommel’s remarks to EU officials and the foreign ministry in Kuala Lumpur intends to summon the envoy to explain his comments. (Speaking the truth is often irresponsible as far as those who will be hurt by the truth is concerned.)

– that other Malaysian ministers have also taken issue with Mr Rommel’s comments, including Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak and Education Minister Hishammuddin Hussein. (Give them credit for not making use of it to make the opposition look unpatriotic. dUMNO should make the PAS state its stand and then use it to sink them further.)

– that dUMNO lodged a police complaint against a popular website that often criticised the gover-min, raising fears of a gover-min crackdown on online dissent. dUMNO believes that political news site Malaysia Today recently published articles that insulted Islam, and tried to stir racial tensions. The party – led by Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi – will let the police decide what action should be taken, Mr Nasiruddin said. (How convenient. So even those who would speak up against this will tread carefully.)

– that while the ‘Asian model of journalism’ – aimed at building a nation and a national consensus – is a better alternative to a freewheeling press that is found in many Western countries to some, Anwar Ibrahim called this model ‘irrelevant’ and ‘obsolete’ in democratic Asian societies. Under the ‘Asian model’, national interests – such as political stability and economic development – take precedence over individual opinions. (Or rather, a lack of backbone and the failure of the Asian press to serve its traditional role as a watchdog beyond the separated institutions in a democracy, is a mandatory feature in the ‘Asian model’.)

Singapore Since the Last TGIF


– that there have been 18 assaults on SBS Transit bus drivers in the first six months of this year – four more than the total number for the whole of last year. Its bus drivers have been slapped, punched and even kicked. (The rest of the people on the bus can do more.)

– that 10 years after it last revised its A&E charges, Changi General Hospital (CGH) has become the latest public hospital to up such fees. Following in the wake of earlier hikes by the National University Hospital and Alexandra Hospital, CGH this month increased its A&E attendance fee by $10 – or 15% – to $75. Even so, the hospital’s A&E charges are one of the lowest across public hospitals, said a spokesperson. (Don’t they get sick of telling us they haven’t raise prices for donkey years to justify it? The other lame excuse would be – minor increments every now and then is better than large increments at one go. Stop ‘beating around the American President’ and just speak the truth: We Want More Money!)

– that the CPF Board has warned people to be wary of a conman claiming to help them sign up for their Workfare Bonus Scheme (WBS) and GST credits. The man, impersonating a CPF Board officer, contacts people on their handphones, telling them to go to an ATM to transfer money to a third party’s bank account in order to claim their WBS and GST credits. (Just follow the instructions on that blasted letter the CPF sent!)

– that the increase had the consumer watchdog CASE crying foul, but the Competition Commission of Singapore says the NETS decision to raise fees did not breach competition law. In a statement, the commission said the hike ‘does not amount to an infringement of Section 47 of the Competition Act’. In particular, alternative payment methods such as credit, debit and EZ-Link ItchyLink cards, were available to consumers, the commission pointed out. (How can they be considered alternatives? Is there any place that accepts ItchyLink along with NETS? And what about the cost involved in using credit and debit cards?)

– that it also clarified that regulating pricing decisions was not within the Act’s purview. (Read: (闽) 这无恁父代誌啦! [Translation: This has nothing to do with us.])

– that officers and specialists joining MINDEF and the SAF can look forward to higher starting salaries. Among non-uniform officers, the salaries of accountants with good honours degrees will start at $3,180 – a $440 increase over the current pay of $2,740 – while management executives with similar qualifications will get a raise of $420, with pay starting from $3,080. SAF officer cadets with a pass degree will enjoy a $300 hike, with the new point being $2,940, while lieutenants with the same educational qualifications will start with $350 more, at $3,430. (More and more of the 2% in GST is getting accounted for!)

– that a recent survey highlighted that Singapore companies are using more paper in spite of computerisation and environmental consciousness … much of this is rooted in wastage. (When even certain managers of IT departments are resorting to old type paper work in their attempts at asset controls, is that a surprise at all?)

– that Environment and Water Resources Mini$ter Yaacob Ibrahim has said it is disturbing that the Aedes mosquitoes are still breeding indoors as it shows that Singaporeans may be too complacent in this fight against dengue. He said: “Indoor breeding is still very high. We can tackle outdoor breeding because we can work with the land agencies but we cannot step into your homes unless there is a complaint. (So if I found water gathering on a branch where the Aedes mosquitoes are breeding outdoors, can I fine the NEA or National Parks?)

– that according to an annual survey of 22 countries’ governments released by global research group Accenture, the Singapore gover-min is tops in the world when it comes to customer service. With an overall score of 89%, Singapore topped the list – and improved on its third-place finish last year – ahead of Canada at 88% and the United States at 79%. The Lion City roared in among the top five in all four categories: How well a gover-min tailors information to citizen’s needs, how it interacts with citizens through multiple channels, the level of coordination between gover-min agencies, and efforts to reach out to citizens about its services. For the first time since its inception eight years ago, the study also included the results of a citizen survey as part of the overall ranking. (The joke is… just outsource those that scored low, and then you will do even better.)

– that it started out with a bang in 2003, receiving wide support from the public for its aim in cutting public wastage. But response to the Cut Waste Panel – which draws on suggestions from the public – has cooled down significantly over the past four years. (Cut how much also no use.)

– that just 205 suggestions were received last year, compared to 1,207 in 2004 – an 80% decrease in volume. And up to the middle of last month, the panel has received just over 70 suggestions – less than half of the number received last year, according to latest figures released. Still, with over 3,300 suggestions received to date, the CWP has managed to create once-off savings of $8.7 million, and recurrent annual savings of $2.9 million – a total of about $11 million in all. ($11 ‘where got enough’ to pay mini$ter$?)

that Goldman Sachs, one of the world’s largest investment banks, making this controversial proposal to relax restrictions on the sale of landed property to foreigners in a report released. (There is already 3 humps on our backs we have to bear with for life – housing, education and medical. No thanks to any suggestions to makes those humps bigger. Goldman Sachs can burn in hell.)

– that the gover-min has no plans to relax the restrictions on foreigners buying landed properties here, said a spokesperson from the Ministry of Law. This statement came in response to media queries, after Goldman Sachs suggested in a report that Singapore’s Residential Property Act be liberalised for this purpose. (66.6% not enough to try that stunt yet?)

– that despite reports of high-selling prices for isolated cases, the HDB said not all resale flats that changed hands in the second quarter were transacted above valuation – only 70% were, with the remaining 30 per cent sold at or below valuation. The average Cash-Over-Valuation (COV) was $10,000 – with five-room flats in the central region registering the highest COV, at $33,600. (70% were above valuation not enough to act? Wait until when?)

– that a piece of its history has been lost along the way and it’s not just the National Stadium itself. 3 years before the National Stadium was officially opened by Lao Lee, a time capsule was buried under the foundations at Kallang by Goh Keng Swee. The capsule, which went into the ground on Feb 23, 1970, contained newspaper articles, books, specimen coins, bank notes and sports memorabilia collected over the years. Now, months before the National Stadium is to be torn down to make way for the Sports Hub, no one knows where it is. (Impossible. This kind of things does not happen in meritocratic Singapore. We have the highest paid mini$ter$. Their helicopter vision and million-dollar worth talents WILL find it for us.)

– that the future Circle Line trains and its tracks are fundamentally different from the trains deployed on the North-South and East-West lines in terms of design specifications, signalling and communication systems, operating and control mechanisms as well as other technical features. (Right. And because of all these the fares will again be higher, right?)

– that the mother of Dickson Tan Yong Wen, the 20-year-old offender who was caned three times more than the prescribed sentence, spent four hours in a closed-door mediation session with representatives from the Attorney-General’s Chambers (AGC). Madam Ho Gee Lin had earlier asked for a $3-million-payout from the government for the error that happened after a court clerk added the extra strokes while processing her son’s paperwork. (1 stroke 1 million. It wouldn’t be out of place to call him Dickson ‘The Golden Arse’ Tan.)

– that the gover-min has revealed for the first time that it had dispensed over $32 million in public funds to the failed University of New South Wales (UNSW) Asia project. This amount comprises $17.3 million in grants and $15 million in loans, Lim Hng Geh Kiang said in Parliament. The gover-min had kept mum on the amount of money that it had dispensed to UNSW, which in May announced its sudden decision to pull out of Singapore due to poor enrolment numbers. Giving the breakdown, Lim explained that the $17.3 million was to help UNSW build its 20-ha campus in Changi. EDB is now trying to recover this amount. (Recover? Like the Cantonese say, ‘colder than water’ [冻过水] – which simply means, hopeless. But compared to Micropolis or Shin Shit Corp, this is like small change.)

– that for more than a decade, LTA was holding on to some $5 million that didn’t belong to it. And the reason is because the Ministry of Transport had neglected to follow up on the money that went to the LTA. This was just one of the accounting lapses found in various ministries, statutory boards and gover-min-owned companies revealed by the Auditor-General’s latest annual report (Another honest and unfortunate mistake, I supposed?)

– that Richard Yong said nobody told him he needed permission to travel and he never received any letter. Now, claims of ignorance by bankrupts and would-be bankrupts like these will be harder to justify. The Official Assignee (OA) will now give early notification to potential bankrupts on travel restrictions that apply to bankrupts and the penalties for failing to comply with these restrictions. This is one of three new measures to prevent unauthorised travel by undischarged bankrupts. (And nobody tells him that it’s all over the news he’s wanted, and he expects us to believe it was just mere coincidence he left one day before the restrictions were in place. Right.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions


– that microorganisms can be used to metabolize glycerol -one of the primary byproducts in converting vegetable oil or animal fat into biodiesel – into high-value products, said Ramon Gonzalez, the William Akers Assistant Professor in Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering. Gonzalez and a group of students, for instance, have identified a process in which Escherichia coli, in an oxygen-free environment, will convert glycerol into ethanol. The strain of E. coli currently being used in the experiments isn’t genetically modified or enhanced, which could further enhance yields. (Your favourite stomach-ache germ have some use after all.)

– that not many knew about the link between Ngee Ann polytechnic and the shopping centre Ngee Ann City. Both were established by the Ngee Ann Kongsi, an organisation set up by Teochew merchants in 1845, and some of NP’s funding comes from the shopping centre’s income. Over the years, the Kongsi has donated more than $100 million to the polytechnic. (It won’t be a surprise in another 100 years, if Singapore still exists as a country, some wouldn’t know that Baby Lee and Lao Lee are related.)

– that I discovered that there are gems stored in Internet Explorer’s cache while I was looking through the files stored in the ‘Temporary Internet Files’ folder one day. Not that I never knew I could copy the files out of there, but I am just surprised with what I found. (There’s some redeeming qualities in IE after all.)

– that Bumbleebee isn’t a Volkswagen anymore in the Transformer movie. According to something I read on a magazine when having coffee at Starbucks at Millenium, it was said that Volkswagen turned down the invitation to sponsor a Volkswagen Bettle as Bumblebee because it does not want any of its products to be associate with any kind of war. (Damn, I admire the conviction. That’s something I always admire the German people about.)

– that a big ruckus was raised when this photo was uploaded to the net. (The poor policeman probably need to sing the following to the tune of Andy Lau’s 男人哭吧不是罪 :

“警察 睡觉 睡觉 睡觉 不是罪
警察是人当然也会累
不是铁人 当然得睡
既然没贼 我当然睡!”)

MRT Pests

Our company, ‘No To Pestilence’, has conducted a survey for free on our trains and found the following pests. Our company is pleased to submit our findings on the different species to the general public.

The most common MRT Pests are:

  1. The HandPhone Tester [Homo-Examinare]:
    Turns his mobile phone ringer volume to maximum and run through all the tunes he has as if no one knows he has a mobile phone or. Maybe testing if it’s working… but cannot test at home is it?
  2. The HandPhone Maestro [Telefon-Maestro]:
    The kind that shares his MP3s by blasting them though the mobile’s external speakers, doesn’t matter you like the songs or not.
  3. The Slime [Spinal-Laessus]:
    The slime has got no backbone, it leans on anything that looks marginally like support.
  4. The Mango Man [Homo-Magifera Indica]:
    Spreads his legs so wide as if some mangoes (or the tree itself) are growing in between his crotch, extending his occupancy onto the other 2 seats beside him.
  5. The Macho ApeMan [Australopithecines-Macho]:
    Will always fold his arms to show off how wide a chest and how big his biceps are, extending his occupancy onto the other 2 seats beside him.
  6. The Serious Decision Maker [Serious-derthal]:
    After entering/exiting the MRT or leaving the escalator, stop, count to 5, take a deep breath, and _seriously_ consider if he should go left or right as that may affect his life.
  7. The Great Wall of Singapore [Festung-Singapur]:
    You will run into these human walls frequently when exiting the train.
  8. PSN/RSN [Pat-Sat News/Road Side News] Reporter [Homo-Reportare]:
    The Ah-sohs who goes on and on about trivial and irrelevance at a loud voice or the person who goes on and on with his/her handphone about the same nonsense.
  9. The Wailing/Screaming brat [Ruckus -Braticus]: The damned brat who screams and wails at the top of his lungs to get what he wants.
  10. The Hurdle Man [Homo-Grillus]:
    The clown who sticks his legs so out that you have to jump over them.
  11. The Newspaper Reader [Homo Novel-Readicus]:
    The clown who spreads his newspaper wide open even on a crowded train as if he can’t miss any single bit of news.
  12. The Sole Cleaner [Sandal-Cleaneticus]:
    The parents who put the kid on the seats of the MRT. An ingenious way to clean the shoes – Clean it on the seat, and then have the unsuspecting passenger to sit on it and clean it up with their pants.
  13. The Mad Rushing Bull [Taurus-Recusarus]:
    The one who rushes madly into the train when the door opens, or the one on the escalator who suddenly find urgency to rush up when the alarms of the train doors are sounding off.


Regards,

Research Team
No To Pestilence Pte Ltd


Addendum (31 Jul 2007)

A few more species were reported by the general public.

  1. The EarthQuake Man [Homo-Tremorus]:
    The shithead who will shake his legs periodically. Remaining still must have been a real challenge.
  2. The ButtCrack Scratcher [Bantak-Scratchus]:
    There is an irresistible itch in these fellow’s arse, that he needs to sit in between 2 seats, so that the raise portion fits nicely into his butt crack, and he can just slide up and down to scratch it.
  3. The Queue Cutter [Home Queue-los]:
    This is a cousin of the mad rushing bull, but instead of standing in the way of everyone to rush in, this particular species will simply stand in front of the person queuing nearest the door, as if the queue does not exists, and then rush in when everyone has alighted.

Harry Potter Jokes…

Q: What is the Hokkien Name of Harry Potter?
A: Hai Lu Bua Dor (sabo u fall down.)

Q: Why are people crazy over Harry Potter in Singapore?
A: Well, because there’s HARRY… with a LIGHTNING symbol… going around bashing up…. the bad guys.

Submit your Harry Potter jokes in the comments section or here!!

鸟话连篇 (-)

最近有人把警察在停车场睡觉的照片发布到部落格Tomorrow.sg海峡傀儡时报 [Stooge Times] 的 STOMP 之上。

原本为了博取大家讨论的举动,却令在 Tomorrow.sg 上某人看了非常的不满,写下了这则留言:

Mary Tan 在找到了一个自设的 ‘道德制高点’ [moral high ground] 后讲的多么的义正词严啊!是该警察的亲戚?是个多管闲事的无聊鼠辈?还是个大义禀然的正义侠客?

Mary Tan 是什么不是重点。重点是,不满别人的意见的话就据理力争,动言要使用暴力的字眼就省起来吧!就算那人是多管闲事,或者有其自私的目的,那也是他的自由啊。如果说警察在偷懒不关任何人的事,那 ‘多事’ 的人发布了这照片,又与批评的人何干?问题就在于很多人在行使他们的自由时,都是用着双重准则来衡量别人的。

这么短短的留言也暴露了互联网一大缺点。那就是任何的蛇虫鼠蚁 – 包括我在内 – 都可以对任何人 – 政治和有头有脸的人物除外 – 用文字进行攻击。大家可以看到很多人在网络上大肆的口诛笔伐,但在街上出现不平的事时,又有几时看见有人拔刀相助,或者出来说句公道话呢?通常都是噤若寒蝉,要不然就围作一群等着看 ‘好戏’ 上演。

说到网络,令我想起了这十几年来在网络的一些经历。在线上聊天室 [IRC / Chat Rooms] 和网络论坛 [Web Forums] 里的人千奇百怪。如今这类只能躲在网络苟且偷生的网络怪胎也蔓延到了部落格上。其中就有一类就是喜欢抛话题让别人讨论,但是却只要听自己要听的意见的那种。有时我怀疑这一类人是否是因为在现实里因为自己的意见时常不被人接受,所以才演变出这样一种 ‘精神上的病态’ 呢?

不过这些人是否应当检讨一下,自己在发表意见时的态度呢? 如果以为自己是天生的 ‘贵种’,只有自己见解是最高尚的,试想这样的人又如何让别人诚心信服呢?

不过这一类还不是最讨厌的。最令人讨厌的是 ‘思想警察’ [Thought Police]。这类人只要找到任何让他发飙的借口,就会毫不迟疑的出来制止别人的讨论或者对话。甚至假借群体来压制别人。如果是这样的一个人在网络上遇到诸如 Mary Tan 这类的人物,我看也是咎由自取,罪有应得吧?

就如金庸的小说 ‘神雕侠侣’ 里说的: 毒物三步之内就会有解药。向来大自然里都是一物制一物。 呵呵…

本文主要目的不是批评任何人,只是发表个人的意见。小心眼的人看了不爽,后果自负!!

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