The World This Week

– that Warmonger Bush dined in the famed French Quarter of New Orleans, to meet with local leaders on rebuilding the city and other communities devastated by Hurricane Katrina. (Forget about the blasted levees. Just fill in the hole and build a new one on top of the ruins.)

– that Syrian Interior Minister Ghazi Kanaan, who was questioned over former Lebanese Premier Rafiq Hariri’s murder, committed suicide in his Damascus office. Earlier in the day, Mr Kanaan, 63, spoke to Voice of Lebanon radio to make a ‘final declaration’ and deny Syria’s involvement in Mr Hariri’s murder. “This is going to be the final declaration that I can make,” the former military intelligence chief for Lebanon, where his country deployed troops for three decades before their withdrawal in April, told the radio station. (Mea Culpa!)

– that ‘Palestinian’ television featured a senior PA academic, Dr. Hassan Khater, founder of the Al Quds Encyclopedia, saying the killing of Jews is mandated by the prophet Muhammad. Khater, quoting what he said was Islamic tradition, told viewers, “Muhammad said in his Hadith: ‘The Hour [Day of Resurrection] will not arrive until you fight the Jews, [until a Jew will hide behind a rock or tree] and the rock and the tree will say: Oh Muslim, servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him!’” (Now I am utterly confused. Isn’t Islam a religion of peace? So where does this genocidal piece fit in, or did this Khater make it up?)

– that there are speculations if Osama bin Laden’s secret lair crumble in the earthquake that devastated northwest Pakistan. However, U.S. gover-min officials and terrorism experts caution against too much speculation about whether the al Qaeda chief may have been killed, injured or forced from hiding. (If it did happen it once again reaffirms the meaning of ‘Divine Justice’.)

– that Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi has visited the controversial Yasukuni war shrine that honors the war dead, a move that has prompted outrage from China and South Korea in the past. This is Koizumi’s fifth visit to Yasukuni since taking office in 2001, and he has repeatedly insisted his visits to the shrine are to honor Japan’s war dead, and not to promote militarism. (When most of those war dead, not including the war criminals, died in wars of aggression against other countries, it is hard to accept that honoring them isn’t promoting militarism. So quit trying weasel out of it already, Konkz!)

– that Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi rejected objections by China and South Korea to his war shrine visit, saying foreign gover-mins should not interfere in matters of personal belief. “In principle other people should not meddle with matters of the heart,” Konkz-umi told reporters hours after he visited the Yasukuni war shrine in Tokyo, seen by Japan’s neighbours as a symbol of the country’s past militarism. “Much more, foreign governments should not say ‘you should not’ when the Japanese are offering sincere condolences to the war dead from Japan and other parts of the world,” he said. (Sincere condolences to invaders which rape and pillage most of East Asia. Right. I’ll let my asshole pay its respects to the Yakusuni branch at home every morning.)

– that Chen Shui-bian intensified calls for a massive arms build-up to thwart what he said was a growing military threat from China. Speaking to a crowd gathered to celebrate the island’s National Day, Chen also vowed to continue reforms launched since his DDP seized power in the 2000 presidential polls. (Well, 5 years ago they vowed and did nothing. With about 3 years left what the hell can they do?)

– that Chen Shui-bian’s popularity rating has dropped to a record low of 25% in the wake of a major bribery scandal, a newspaper poll showed. The figure compared with about 34% support that Mr Chen drew a year ago, according to the United Daily News yesterday. (It’s a miracle that he isn’t yet ‘character bankrupt’ [人格破产] by now.)

– that Annette Lu has blamed men for all the evils in the world and urged more women to join politics to achieve peace. “The great forces of nature and the great transformations in the 21st century show us that the structure with men in power is crumbling in many countries,” Ms Lu told a women’s conference. The responses of gover-mins to the tsunami and earthquake in South Asia highlighted the problem, Ms Lu said, according to the Taipei Times. “Ninety-nine point nine per cent of wars are waged by men, so women should join politics and become policymakers because only women bring peace to the world,” she said. (Well, then one of the greatest evils men has bestowed upon Taiwan is definitely by Lu’s father. I don’t have to elaborate lah hor?)

– that Indonesian Vice-President Jusuf Kalla said that the gover-min cannot ban the Jemaah Islamiyah (JI) despite Australia’s insistence it do so – because it never recognised it in the first place. “If we have never recognised the existence of that organisation, how can we disband it?” Mr Kalla was quoted as saying by the Detikcom online news service. (“I can’t treat my wound because I don’t acknowledge that the wound exist.” Just how the hell did this fellow made Vice-President in the first place?)

– that the Bali suicide bombers are still unidentified. Photos released by Indonesian police showed their severed heads, blown off their bodies when they detonated their deadly bombs, their features swollen but clearly recognisable. All three men were between 20 and 25 and looked Indonesian. Twenty-two people were killed and 100 injured in the blasts. (They should just let them die ignominiously – un-named, unknown, reviled and forgotten. And instead of leaving them nameless graves, the tombstone should read: “Here lies a beast in the skin of a man.”)

– that Mama-thir Mohamad is not backing down from his claim that Anwar Ibrahim is a homosexual, setting the stage for a courtroom showdown. (This is bad drama. These two should just enter a boxing ring, try to pummel one another senseless and be done with.)

Singapore This Week

– that 3 day after Mr Ralf Lee caused a traffic jam at Empress Place by parking a Mercedes Benz SLK along a bend in the narrow road – outraging some readers who wrote in to TODAY — he has just this to say: ‘The readers are right. And he is sorry.’ He even agreed with those who said that the $70 fine he paid simply wasn’t enough. (Ralf Lee 知错能改，善莫大焉。Girlfriend can afford car, how come cannot afford carpark?)

– that as a feature in this year’s Road Courtesy campaign, the wave will be road users’ way of saying thank you on the roads. Ho Peng Kee said at the launch of the campaign yesterday that he hopes ‘The Singapore Road Wave’ will become standard practice on the roads here. (When we need campaigns to do even the most common sense of things, there’s really a serious problem with our educational system. We are taught the skills to earn a living, but we are apparently not taught the skills to be proper human beings!)

– that Baby Lee point out in his Nuremberg National Day Rally Speech, those considered poor in Singapore are still in possession of significant wealth, according to a detailed breakdown released by the Singapore Department of Statistics (SingStat). Referring to the household equity of the poorest 20% in terms of per capita household income, Baby had said: “That means the value of the house, subtract the mortgage not paid, this is what it is worth to him. So it’s not bad for the bottom one-fifth to have $138,000 of wealth in an HDB house.” Some 71% of the lowest 20% households, per capita, had equity of at least $100,000 in their HDB flats while 7.8% of this lowest income group had equity exceeding $250,000 in their property. (Ya. Just too bad if they’ve got no money to buy food they can’t eat the bloody house. And if they sell their house to get food they will be sleeping in void decks.)

– that the LTA says that closing some CTE exits may help to improve traffic speeds, but such a move will cause much inconvenience to the thousands of motorists who use these every day in response to a letter of on the TODAY freesheet to close the Braddell exit. (Well, it’s either the inconvenience of going a bigger round, or the inconvenience of having to pay for the ERP. But one of them inconveniences don’t generate any revenue.)

– that media exec Kalin – not her real name -, 21, is glad she made that call because now bloggers know with free speech comes responsibility. She was the person who made the call to the police one Sunday morning in June at 3am. (Confuse Us says: “There is less trouble when people sleeps early.”)

– that this ‘genius’ RETNAM THILLANINATHAN asked why wasn’t the taxi driver traced because he is the culprit who started the chain of events leadng to the two bloggers posting on racists remarks on their own blogs and forum. He said that the authorities did not act fast enough to nab the taxi driver, to drive home the point that it is illegal to transport pets using public transport. (And why can’t pets use public transport? Isn’t the onus on the pet owner to ensure that the pet does not dirty the cab? What has it got to do with the taxi driver? If this was the attitude of the person who complained about the dog in the cab, then now I can understand, though I will not and cannot agree with, the outburst of those two bloggers. Their actions admit no explanation.)

– that this same ‘genius’ that the authorities were also not vigilant enough to detect the bloggers’ racist remarks and urge the authorities to be more vigilant. (The authorities should also be vigiliant in dealing with such intolerance and animal-discrimination too.)

– that another ‘genius’ TAN KHEE SHIAN wrote to the Stooge Times Online Forum and asked ‘Why is there a bias towards Chinese shows on TV mobile?’ and suggest that “SBS Transit should have been more thoughtful and considerate when implementing what it thinks are ‘value-added services’ instead of just focusing on capturing viewership to attract revenues, which shows its myopic profit-mindedness.” (We have come a long way from complaining about the loudness of TV Mobile and its bad quality. Now ‘racism’ is an excuse to justify one’s complaints about TV Mobile! Anyone with enough neurons to make a synapse would have realised that SBS Transit has always maintained that it cost them nothing to implement this ‘value-added service’. And since it is free it simply means that the advertisers paid for it. And can one call that myopic profit-mindedness, when TV Mobile chooses to show stuff that attracts the most audiences, which is TV Mobile’s obligation to the advertisers, who paid to have this service on the bus? When even such simple business acument is non-existent, no wonder Singaporeans are such pathetic entrepreneurs! And above all these whinings, where’s the suggestion on where to get non-Chinese programs to show? So, for goodness sake, TV Mobile is free. Watch it, or don’t. Some people should stop acting self-righteous and trying to be politically correct.)

– that yet another ‘genius’ ALLAN TAN wrote to the Stooge Times Online Forum and talked about how his poor 12-year old daughter was totally shattered by the difficult paper because she could not finish all the questions and panicked in the first hour in the examination when she encountered the difficult multiple choice questions. He asked why are we subjecting young kids to difficult exams set by ‘cruel, insensitive examiners’. (All trials and tribulations are cruel and insensitive. Should I blame God of being ‘cruel and insensitive’ for my share losses, or for having a bad day in office, or for a booked cab not coming on time even when I am going to be late for work, or for some shit thrown my way by a particular idling, tai-chi master colleague? Just face it and move on. If you have a fall because of a hole, cry all you want, learn your lesson then pick yourself up and move on instead of staying at the damned hole and whine about it.)

– that one more ‘genius’ ROSALIND LIM KWANG SUAN wrote this to the Stooge Times Forum: “I agree the major problem faced by most pupils sitting for the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) mathematics paper is insufficient time. The current time frame of two hours and 15 minutes is unrealistic.” She further wrote: “If the purpose of the exam is to assess pupils’ attainment in mathematics at the end of their primary education, then it is only right that they be given a realistic and appropriate time frame to complete the paper. Also, the questions should be set within their ability to solve them.” (Say, increase to 3 hours lah. And if they can’t finish in 3 hours also, then got people say it’s unrealistic, how?! Then half day enough? Or give them all the time they want until they say give up? Why has no one considered an exam also a test to see how people performed under pressure, and a test of EQ and AQ? * vomit blood *)

– that Associate Professor Lee Wei Ling stands by her claim that many Singaporeans are ‘gullible’ when it comes to donations. (The money is others to give and has nothing to do with you, ma’am. Whether they are ‘gullible’ or not is subjective.)

– that the 50-year-old neurologist, who is director of the National Neuroscience Institute, recently penned a letter to the Stooge Times in which she criticised the ‘propensity of the press to sensationalise’ and the gullibility of Singaporeans. She was also ‘disappointed’ with Singaporeans’ ‘unthinking reflex response to stories in the press’. (In the matter of the press, she’s right. All that news about Huang Na, Liu Hong Mei, Constance Chee, Guen Garlejo Aguilar. But whether people are gullible or not they go it out of their own good heart so it has got nothing to do with her at all!)

– that she was critical of several treatments which she deemed unnecessary, such as those of conjoined Nepalese twins Ganga and Jamuna, which were paid for with public money. When the media reported about the twins’ plight, $660,000 in donations poured in for their surgery. In the case of Chen Shuyun, a Batam child whose head was nearly thrice as large as a normal child’s, again the public gave generously, with more than $50,000 raised for the operation. She deems such reactions as ‘misplaced compassion’ due to the media sensationalising these stories. She said in an interview, “I look at repeated incidences where the public wastes large sums of charity money, in response to the press playing up to an audience that does not understand complex medical problems.” (What kind of world is it when even showing compassion is criticised? Personally speaking, I think the brain is such a complex organ that even neurologists don’t understand so can I ask Associate Professor Lee to shut up keep her comments to herself?)

– that she harks back to the murder of eight-year-old Huang Na last year to drive home her point. An undisclosed sum, believed to be a six-figure amount, was collected in bai jing (Mandarin for ‘white gold’), money donated by well-wishers for the girl’s funeral. Reports have revealed that Huang Na’s mother is currently using part of that money to add another floor to her two-storey home in China. “It’s a sensational murder. (There’s) no patient alive to benefit from the generosity, so you give the money for the mother to build a new life. How many other Singaporeans have lost close relatives, some who are sole bread winners, but the death is not sensational, (so) they may get a tiny sum from the social welfare department.” (There are many injustice in the world. So should we all become cold and calculative and in the end even compassion dies in this world simply because there is not enough facts to help us make an educated decision?)

– that in her letter published, Lee had also suggested that the Nepalese twins’ parents’ motives for coming to Singapore was to get more sympathy money. The parents have denied this, claiming that they needed funds to help their children. But, as Ms Angella Cheng, who was the guardian of the twins when they were in Singapore, has pointed out, they have since been unable to account for the $70,000 they received in donations four years ago. This amount is on top of the original $660,000 raised, said Ms Cheng. (But these haven’t got shit to do with complex medical problems anymore, yes? Leave Singaporeans to make their own decisions on these!)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that Sony has been left red-faced after Australia’s High Court rules that the installation of mod-chips in PlayStation consoles is not against the country’s laws. The chips that allow gamers to play pirated and imported games on their modified consoles are found not to be the primary protection device and therefore not covered by copyright laws. This means that while it is illegal to duplicate pirated copies of games in Australia, it is not illegal to play ‘unauthorised’ discs. (Ouch. That hurts. Because it’s the discs that makes money. Not the consoles.)

– that a lawyer for Boy George has denied that drugs found in the British singer’s apartment belonged to him. The singer, whose original name is George O’Dowd, was released without bail after being charged with fourth-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance. He had called 911 to report that his home had been burglarised at around 3am, said a police spokesman. Officers arrived at O’Dowd’s apartment and discovered a small amount of cocaine next to a computer. (He would need to move mountains and fill oceans to make someone believe that the burglar who broke into his house forgot about his drugs and left it next to the computer.)

– that Boy George faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted on charges of drug possession, while his lawyer said the flamboyant entertainer had no idea how 13 plastic bags of cocaine got in his apartment. (Might as well say they were there since the place was built!)

– that in retaliation, teachers should start blogging, flame and write bad things about their students too. (Hmm.. greatteacheronizuka.blogspot.com sounds like a damned great idea.)

– that I am a ‘racist’ too. Yes. Die, you freaking, slimy, disgusting reptilian shits!! DIE!!! (Sorry for my ‘seditious’ * erhem * outburst and not so flattering comments against the reptilian species. I get really mad when I read news about pythons eating house cats and the likes. ;))

– that Taiwanese actress Lu Ching sobbed as she admitted to having filmed a popular TV host naked in her apartment, but denied she used the video to extort money from him. Lu, 33, an emerging starlet, has not made any public appearance since comedian Peng Chia-chia revealed three weeks ago that he was being blackmailed over a naked video of him. He did not identify the blackmailers, but media reports said she had filmed him at her apartment. (The man likes to play. The woman didn’t like being played without getting paid. And thus a lousy third grade drama surrounding this misdemeanor. It shouldn’t even be news worthy in the first place!)

– that while waiting at the MRT station, a son complained about his father holding him away from the door and telling him not to block the doorway. This was what he said, “I am your son. Why are you treating me like this?” (No one is going to treat you like this as long as you aren’t their kriffing son.)

– that it is a personal opinion that all those opinion about religious tolerance and free practice of religion under the Singapore Constitution on the Stoooge Times Forum is a load of kriffing bull. (How is it tolerance when Christians are asked to tolerate everyone else but whenever a Christian tried to evangelise everyone complain? Evangelism is part of Christian practice and if there are conditions prventing it, then so much for free practice!)

– that a study found that night-time temperatures in downtown Orchard Road were up to 7 deg C higher than those in Lim Chu Kang, the closest Singapore has to a rural hinterland. The maximum temperature in Orchard Road was 30 deg C, while it was 23 deg C in Lim Chu Kang. (And it is damned cold at about 4am in the morning if you are in Sungei Gedong Camp.)

– that this female elephant’s left foreleg was seriously hurt after treading on a landmine at the Thai-Myanmar border. It received care at Hang Chat Elephant Hospital in Lampang province, 510km north of Bangkok. Vets operated on the two-year-old elephant to cut away dead flesh and shattered bones, using enough anaesthetic to floor 50 humans. (Damn the blasted landmines and the shitheads who put them there.)

The Ugly Singaporean Award

– that a 46-year-old male beast, obsessed with oral sex, had abused the young daughter of his friend since she was five years old. Facing 11 charges, the former driver – who cannot be named to protect the identity of his two young daughters – was sentenced to 21 years in jail and eight strokes of the cane for repeatedly making the girl he was babysitting perform oral sex on him. (This is another one CJ Yong should do something about.)

The World This Week

– that Florida businesses could soon face criminal charges if they try to stop employees from bringing guns to work in their cars, thrusting the state into a growing national debate pitting individual freedom against job safety. Backed by the National Rifle Association, two state lawmakers have filed bills that would allow workers to have guns at work, as long as the weapons remain locked in their vehicles. (And what’s there to stop them from taking the guns out of their cars?)

– that Warmonger Bush allegedly said God told him to invade Iraq and Afghanistan, a new BBC documentary will reveal, according to details. Warmonger made the claim when he met ‘Palestinian’ lea-duh Mahmud Abbas and then foreign minister Nabil Shaath in June 2003, the ministers told the documentary series to be broadcast in Britain later this month. (George, did God really say that? See a psychiatrist!)

– that the White House has denied that Warmonger Bush said God told him to invade Iraq and Afghanistan, as a new BBC documentary is expected to reveal. “That’s absurd. He’s never made such comments,” White House spokesman Scott McClellan said. (Even if he did it wouldn’t be to his advantage to admit. But I wouldn’t trust the guys who said Bush said what he said.)

– that a new survey of Muslim students in Britain shows 10% would not inform police if they knew of a fellow Muslim planning a terrorist attack. While 72% said they would inform police right away, some said they ‘would never grass on a Muslim’, according to the poll of 466 students by the Federation of Student Islamic Societies. (There’s something called the sin of omission. Well, probably those 10% has never heard of such a concept.)

– that attacks on a executive’s home and a university show animal rights extremists are growing more violent, a scientists’ group says. Tougher laws had driven a ‘hardcore minority’ to tactics such as arson, the Research Defence Society (RDS) says. It comes after activists admitted firebombing the Bucks home of a Glaxosmithkline executive and a Corpus Christi College, Oxford, building. (Fight for animal rights, yes. But anyone who put animal rights about that of other fellow humans is unworthy to be a member of the human race.)

– that Islamic groups and civil libertarians said the Australia’s new counter-terrorism laws were dangerous, and expressed fears they would be used to attack Muslims. Terrorism suspects will be detained for up to two weeks without charge, and law enforcement agencies will be given extra tracking powers under tough new measures agreed upon. (In Singapore they can detain you indefinitely without charge, so stop whining already!)

– that Australia pressed the Indonesian gover-min to outlaw the terrorist group blamed for the Bali bombings and protested a possible cut in the jail sentence imposed on the group’s alleged ‘spiritual’ lea-duh. Alexander Downer will travel to Indonesia to lobby the gover-min to ban the terrorist group Jemaah Islamiyah (JI) following the latest Bali attacks, John Coward announced. (What are the Indonesians waiting for before they would do the correct thing?)

– that police in northwestern Pakistan have launched an inquiry after complaints about two dead women being declared elected in a local election held recently, election officials said. The women, one of whom died 13 years ago, were elected as councilors in the Upper Dir district in the North West Frontier Province, according to the News daily newspaper. The other woman died three years ago. (Maybe they thought they were electing their representatives in paradise.)

– that Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi said he disagreed with a court ruling that his visits to a controversial war shrine were unconstitutional. “I do not think my visits to Yasukuni shrine violate the constitution,” Konkz-umi said in parliament after a high court in western Japan said the visits contravened the constitutional separation of politics and religion. “It was not like I have made my pilgrimages as part of the prime minister’s official duties. I have paid homage to express my grief over people killed in war and pledge not to cause that kind of war again.” (What’s there to grief about when most of these died invading someone else’s country? Go to the victim countries and express some real grief, Konkz.)

– that Taiwan protested to Internet powerhouse Google for naming the island a province of China in its map section. Foreign ministry spokesman Michel Lu said he was confident Google would change the reference despite possible pressure from China. Describing Taiwan as a province of China ‘is not a fact’, he said. (Calling a fact ‘not a fact’ won’t make it a fact.)

– that Google, the most-used Internet search engine, said its description of Taiwan as a province of China is consistent with international naming conventions such as those followed by the UN. “We rely on international naming conventions to find a consistent policy,” said Ms Debbie Frost, a spokesman for the company based in Mountain View, California. (Doesn’t Taiwan get it? There’s no fighting with China. It’s the economy, stupid!)

– that the Philippine Justice Department ordered an investigation into Corazon Aquino and the Senate president, Franklin Drilon, over an alleged plot to assassinate Gloria Arroyo. (Anyone might resort to assassination, but Cory Aquino? Benigno Aquino would be rolling in his grave if she does that.)

– that the allegation was made by Senator Miriam Santiago. The Arroyo ally claimed to have uncovered a plot engineered by Mrs Aquino and Franklin Drilon to ‘physically remove’ Arroyo if she failed to step down this month. “Of course, physical removal refers to assassination. Hence, I told President Arroyo that she should strengthen her security measures,’ the Manila Times quoted Ms Santiago as saying. (Politicians always never say things literally so they read things literally too.)

– that the Philippines rejected allegations that the masterminds behind the recent bombings in Bali had undergone military training in guerrilla camps run by separatist Muslim rebels on its territory. National police chief director-general Arturo Lomibao said the armed forces had overrun all major terrorist camps in the southern region of Mindanao in recent years, forcing the terrorists to move their bases elsewhere. (Elsewhere in the Philippines where he hasn’t yet found them doesn’t mean it’s no longer in the Philippines.)

– that Abu Bakar Ba-shit, in prison for links to the 2002 Bali bombings, may be among the thousands of prisoners to receive sentence cuts to mark the end of the Islamic fasting month. (No wonder the terror attacks just never end.)

– that a love-lorn soldier could not have known he would provoke ‘moral’ outrage when he kissed his girlfriend goodbye before leaving Aceh in a military pullout, following a peace treaty between the gover-min and separatist group Free Aceh Movement. A picture of the passionate farewell was plastered on the placards of dozens of angry Indonesian women who gathered at the state governor’s office in Banda Aceh to protest against kissing in public. (It makes one wonders how many of these wouldn’t bat an eye if asked to perform oral sex or to kiss their husband’s dicks, in the privacy of their own room !)

Singapore This Week

– that condemning the deadly bomb blasts in Bali, Baby Lee said his meeting this week on the island with SBY would go on as scheduled. (Baby Lee and SBY are after all, once army generals. But for once, well done, Baby!)

– that Baby Lee said, “We have to carry on with the retreat. To change our plans and not to meet is really to concede. We will take the necessary precautions and I’m looking forward to meeting the President.” (Yes. And all JI and similar organisations should not only be banned, but also to make it a capital offense for participation. It doesn’t matter if you did or did not plant a bomb or assist bombers but just joined to pray. As long as you are a member, your punishment is death.)

– that as the gover-min looks at ways to help Singaporeans retire comfortably, Ng Eng Eng said changes to the CPF Investment Scheme (CPF-IS) will be announced within the next two months, with the aim of lowering the cost of investing. Ng said, “We want to introduce a product that has low costs, manageable risks and meaningful returns.” (Ya right. Maybe he can try investing in prostitution. Low cost: A T-shirt and shorts plus a good corner. Manageable Risks: Condoms provided. Meaningful Returns: $60 – $80 per half hour meaningful enough?)

– that some girl students were made to remove the remarks from their Internet diaries, or blogs, and suspended for three days for ‘flaming’ their teachers on the Internet. Their parents were also informed. (Did someone squealed to the teachers or the school something like 3am in the morning?)

– that seven secondary schools and two JCs have asked bloggers who criticise or insult their teachers online – ‘flaming’ in Internet jargon – to remove the offending remarks. One such remark referred to a secondary school teacher as a ‘prude’ for disciplining a student for wearing a too-short skirt. ‘Frustrated old spinster. Can’t stand to see attractive girls’, the blog read. (Well, this girl probably figured that she’ll never get old, ever. It would be poetic justice if she’s condemned to a life of singlehood.)

– that well before the first casino opens for business, a simple rule – with enforcers to back it – will already be in place: No criminal shadows or illegal activities. The Casino Control Bill will be ready as early as next year to spell out the ground rules. Then, in 2007 or the year after, a regulatory body for casinos will be born. (No problem. The next Dai-E-Loan is just around the corner at Geylang. Just call 1800-DAI-E-LOAN. Also, there will be prostitutes girls just standing around harmlessly.)

– that the law may be changed to make it an offence to pay for sex with anyone under 18. The study is part of a wider review of the Penal Code by MHA, which is also studying the feasibility of prosecuting Singaporeans who have sex with minors overseas. The ministry said the review should be completed by the end of the year. Current laws make it a crime to have sex with girls under 16, punishable by up to five years in jail and a $10,000 fine. If passed, the review would make it criminal also to have sex with 16- and 17-year-olds, but only if money, or payment in kind, is involved. (How about increasing the fine for dirty old men too?)

– that the transport operators have estimated an annual revenue loss of about $9 million due to fare evasion on buses. This estimate is arrived at based on the detection rates and the average amount of fare evaded in the cases of underpayment, non-payment and concession abuse as detected during actual ticket checks. Fare evasion takes place on about 1.8% of trips. (Doesn’t matter that this ass-timate makes Singapore a country of cheats.)

– that if transport operators loses $9 million a year, then they lose $24657.53 a day. If every fare cheat has been cheating $1 per trip, we have almost 24,658 cheats a day! (A country of cheats! Will that make it to the guiness book of records?)

– that the LTA claims that public-transport operators do not gain from system faults, as they absorb the revenue losses from undercharging, while commuters can claim full refunds if overcharged. (What happens when commuters did not notice that they are overcharged?)

– that the LTA and the public-transport operators will keep up efforts to reduce the incidence of incorrect fare deductions. Already, improvements to the system have significantly reduced the incidence of incorrect fare deductions to 0.006% of the two million daily ez-link transactions on trunk services, or about 120 cases daily. (So that’s 120 confirmed and reported cases. But what’s the ass-timate on the number of un-reported cases, huh? 50,000 cases a day? 3.7%? Talk about losses and an astronomical estimate is given. Talk about gains and everything so prim and proper. Bah!)

– that defense lawyer Kelvin Lim said, “He (Michael McCrea) tells me he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He has got three exceptions to murder, where we’re hopeful and confident that the charge may be reduced. One of the defences is sudden fight; the other is the exercise of his right for self-defence, and the third is grave and sudden provocation.” (Then he shouldn’t have run in the first place!)

– that even before the ink had dried on the answer scripts, tears started flowing and complaints were made to the media about the PSLE paper on mathematics this year. A kiasu said that the paper was so tough, his daughter and his neighbour’s daughter cried after handing in their answer scripts. He said the questions asked were ‘different in their content’ and ‘nothing close’ to the standard of the school’s prelim paper. Two of the tougher sections also carried a heavy weightage of marks, according to the students. (Whoever said exam papers are supposed to be easy? But considering that Singaporeans whine about speed traps too…)

– that after about a month, the police have closed their investigation into the ‘white-elephants’ incident with a ‘stern warning’ to a veteran grassroots lea-duh. (They would have better spent their time investigating those jokers who are going around pasting posters about alleged abused in China against Far-Long-Gone members.)

– that in a statement to the media, the police said that while the investigation established that there was an infringement of the Public Entertainments and Meetings Act, it noted that ‘the placards did not cause public annoyance or nuisance’. After ‘considering the circumstances’, the police have decided to issue a stern warning to the offender, who was not named. (Will there be a stern warning to the kaypoh who called at an ungodly 3am in the morning too, if I think this guy is an annoyance and a nuisance?)

– that in the competitiveness report released by the Geneva-based World Economic Forum, Singapore is 69th in the health and primary education segment of the rating. (There’s utmost confidence in our nation’s propagandists to turn this around and make it sound like some kind of achievement. Perhaps, something like, the first time we are out of top 50?)

– that Indonesian prostitutes are being brought to work in Geylang by Singaporeans posing as their relatives. They are being paid to do so by a Batam-based vice syndicate. Two women have been arrested following a probe by the CPIB. (And of course, if the prostitutes came willingly, this is not considered as trafficking! Talk about the spirit of the law man!!)

– that this joker left his car unattended along a single-lane, two way road with double jagged yellow lines somewhere in Siglap for a good 10 minutes. (Well, what’s 50 cents of carpark compared to a COE? And why isn’t this in the ‘Ugly Singaporean Award’ section? A chow angmoh was driving this scrap.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that a six-month-old labrador pup was recently found alive with a huge double hook through its snout – like the dog above – and another through a leg. The cruel practice takes place on French-controlled Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean. The RSPCA plans to petition the French government, demanding an end to the hideous torture. (Perpetrators of this crime should be hooked by their balls.)

– that actors Demi Whore Moore and Ashton Kutcher were finally married, capping their celebrated two-year older woman, younger man relationship. The wedding was described as a traditional Kabbalah ceremony put together at the last minute. (Anyone taking bets how long this one will last?)

– that Paris Hilton is not ready for the simple life. She said that she ended her five-month engagement to a Greek shipping heir because she is not prepared for marriage and did not want it to end up in divorce. Hilton said she still loves Latsis and they will continue to work together on business endeavours and have ‘movies together in the works’. (Perhaps she decided that she has less to gain that Latsis. Meanwhile in Singapore, Sylvester Sim and Maia Lee… Oh come on! Singapore has been there, done that!)

– that the word ‘toilet’ stems from the French word for ‘little towel’ and was originally a pleasantly indirect way of referring to the place where the chamber pot or its equivalent resides. But toilet has since come to mean the porcelain fixture itself, and so sounds too blunt to use in polite company. (So in the future, when I said I am ‘paying my respects at Yakusuni’, what I really meant is that ‘I am shitting on Japanese Imperialism’.)

– that there’s blogs on the company server! Not the kind of blogs you see on the Internet but work-blogs keeping a daily entry of all the problems encountered daily and what is done to resolved the issues. Makes life hell alot easier for the next guy who takes over the next shift. (Whoever said blogging is all bad?)

– that complaints that iPod nanos scratch and crack with irksome ease has prompted Apple Computer to offer to replace defective screens on the music players, company officials confirmed. (Apparently, the nano isn’t the only thing that is facing quality woes lately. A customer of my friend – a supplier – is so irked by Apple’s ‘non-existent’ service that he has threatened to strip apart his faulty set which is dead on arrival before the Apple support people in the Apple support centre here in Singapore. And I can guess what Mac Freaks would be saying. I just won’t repeat it here.)

– that some recent reports suggests that many people resort to colonic cleansing to keep their digestive system clean. (For Princess Diana to do it, it’s called ‘Royal Flush’. For commoners, is it called a ‘Straight Flush’?)

Found some of letters objecting to the method of evangelism by some of my over-zealous brethen on the Stooge Times Forum recently.

To be frank, I am a little annoyed. At the moment when these letters are read I proceeded to write an angry retort which is designed to ‘rip several new exits for the alimentary canal’ on the very writers of these letters. Most of my retort centred on the theme of ‘religious intolerance in the name of religious tolerance’.

I must say I am so damned proud of the piece until, you believed it or not, God spoke to me. Yes, I could hear Him in my head saying this, “This isn’t going to help. What you are doing is adding oil to the fire and helping My enemies. I will hold you responsible if I lose these souls to the devil.”

* gasp * Me? Responsible?

I am a stubborn person and I don’t usually hear admonition from God loud and clear. This time round, it was like thunder cracking across the quiet evening night. I took a hard look at my ‘masterpiece’ and being to see things a little differently. It suddenly became clear to me that the root of the problem is the misgivings these writers have about evangelism. Looking deeper, there appears to be a deep misunderstanding about Christianity itself. Indeed, it wouldn’t help if I proceed with my original piece. I decided to change it.

I am not a great writer, and maybe I didn’t successfully remove all the direct criticisms of the writers in the letter. This is the final draft I sent to the Stooge Times Forum Editor @ stforum@sph.com.sg:

I refer to the following letters, “Should teachers seek to convert pupils?” (ST, Oct 1), “Isn’t Boys’ Brigade just a CCA?” (ST, Oct 05) and “All religious groups should be given equal number of schools” (Online Letters, Oct 5) First, on the matter of converting pupils over MSN chat. In her zeal to share about Jesus Christ, it seems to me that the teacher has implicitly encouraged the child to disobey his parents. Let me just take this opportunity to clarify that Christianity does not encourage children to disobey their parents. Disobeying one’s own parents without good grounds is against the teachings of Christianity. I also find it self-contradicting when this was said, “teachers, as educators and authority figures to be respected in school and in society, should be the ones to inculcate tolerance and respect for other cultures and religions.” I found myself asking, ‘Would there be this letter at all if the teacher was talking about another religion?’I have yet to understand what is so inherently wrong with the teachings of Christianity that objection is often displayed whenever it is shared. Next, the matter of the Boys’ Brigade. While the Boys Brigade maybe just another CCA, isn’t the writer already aware that it is the Boy’s Brigade’s mission ‘To nurture Youth, based on Christian values, to lead and serve.’? I also looked through the Boys Brigade website (www.bb.org.sg) and it is stated clearly there that ‘We are a Christian organisation, for all Youth.’ I believe that this might be the case for the Girl’s Brigade too. It appears that this parent wouldn’t have been aware that the Boys Brigade is Christian if not for his child’s – a teenager’s – wish to become a Christian. What is it about Christianity that raised the ire of this parent? Finally, the matter of mission schools. The Christian Church (both the Protestant and Catholic branches) has always actively set up mission schools with the intention to provide eduction and introduce the Gospel of Jesus Christ to students. it is of no surprise that there are a large number of mission schools around, not just in Singapore, but in places where Christianity has a presence. This has absolutely nothing to do with Singapore’s colonial past. In fact, one might even notice that the Church has also set up hospices, old folks and child care centres etc. Why stop the Church from contributing to community service? If the other religions do not have a stronger presence than Christianity in these areas, then shouldn’t they work on that, instead of limiting the Christian contribution, or force it upon Christians to teach other religions too? Let us stop masking our own fear and misunderstanding about certain religions by chanting the mantra of ‘religious tolerance’ and ‘fairness’. I am quite sure every Christian will be glad to sit down with these writers and address their concerns.