‘一任清知府，十万雪花银’。

此谚出自 “儒林外史”， 原意是： 即使是不贪赃枉法的清廉知府，一任三年下来，仅例所应有的各项陋规收入也有十万两银子的进项。如果是黑心贪黩的知府，那就不知要捞多少了。

但用来形容新加坡的政府部长也相当贴切。当然，不是用原意来解释的，因为原意是用来讽刺贪官的，用到他们身上是完全不适用的。任何人胆敢说新加坡的政府部长贪腐，根本就是无中生有来诋毁诽谤他人名声。而且大家要记得，这不负责任的行为是必须面对可导致身败名裂，倾家荡产的法律诉颂。就算你原本富可敌国，最终也只能以破产或流亡收场。谨记，饭可以乱吃，话不可以乱讲。有前车可鉴，诸君请好自为之。

那我既然说了原意不可用来形容他们，但又说贴切又是怎么一回事？

诸君想想，新加坡部长的薪金，一任后财富相对的价值可否相当于古代的十万雪花银? 我想，每年平均一百多万的薪金，可能比古代的十万雪花银还更多呢！那还未加上两任之后能领的退休金喔！

所以，新加坡世界级的清廉政府，应该有个 ‘非常新加坡’ [Uniquely Singapore] 的称号。本座称之为：　”薪”廉政府。

“薪”廉政府是什么咚咚？薪当然是指薪金。廉是指： 廉价，廉洁，廉耻。您往下看就明白了。

读者诸君，您说，将之称为 “薪”廉政府 可否是 ‘非常新加坡’ 呢? 呵呵…

Away from April 6 – 12th. There will be no updates during this period.

The World This Week

– that plans to create an internet domain specifically for pornographic websites have been rejected. The proposal for the .xxx domain was voted out by the overseer of the net’s addressing system, seven years after the ideas was first put forward. (That’s odd. It’s a good idea to have all ‘pR0n’ registered under one domain. Makes life easier for filtering such content from minors.)

– that in his first weeks as defense secretary, Robert Gates repeatedly argued that the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, had become so tainted abroad that legal proceedings at the U.S. base would be viewed as illegitimate, according to senior administration officials. He told Warmonger Bush and others that it should be shut as quickly as possible. Gates’s appeal was an effort to turn Bush’s publicly stated desire to close Guantanamo into a specific plan for action, the officials said. (But they should put Dick-head Cheney and Donald Rumsfool in there first.)

– that Warmonger Bush has apologised for the sub-standard living conditions for wounded U.S. troops at the Walter Reed Medical Center. During a visit to the flagship military hospital, Warmonger promised the problem would be fixed. “It is not right to have someone volunteer to wear the uniform and not get the best possible care,” he said. (He forgot one thing. Blame Rumsfool.)

– that Warmonger Bush offered to give Moscow a detailed explanation of his plans for an anti-missile shield in Europe, the Kremlin said, as Washington tried to cool Russian anger over the scheme. Warmonger and Vladimir Putin, discussed the planned shield in a telephone conversation on the day the Czech prime minister said he was opening talks with the U.S. on hosting part of the missile defence system. (Is Warmonger offering some oil from Iraq to Putin for free?)

– that a Saudi prince accused of using his diplomatic immunity to smuggle two tonnes of cocaine worth over €15.5 million into France is due to go on trial in his absence in Paris, amid allegations that French authorities deliberately bungled the investigation to avoid offending the rulers of the wealthy and powerful Arab kingdom. Nayef Bin Fawaz al-Shaalan, 53, a grandson of Saudi Arabia’s founding monarch, Abdulaziz, is one of ten people facing charges relating to a shipment that allegedly arrived on his Bermudas-registered private Boeing 727 at a Paris airport in 1999. (2 tonnes?! 20g is death sentence in Singapore. He would have to die 100,000 times here. Makes one wonder how many barrels of oil the French gets for free to botch the investigation.)

– that a German judge has stirred a storm of protest here by citing the Koran in turning down a German Muslim wife’s request for a fast-track divorce on the ground that her husband beat her. In a remarkable ruling that underlines the tension between Muslim customs and European laws, the judge, Christa Datz-Winter, said the couple came from a Moroccan cultural milieu in which it is common for husbands to beat their wives. The Koran, she wrote, sanctions such physical abuse. (If Christa Datz-Winter thought that was funny, no one is laughing.)

– that a Dutch court has added a new item to the list of activities eligible for tax relief – drug running. Judges of Arnhem ruled a fisherman convicted of smuggling drugs could deduct the cost of buying and shipping hashish from his income on his tax return. (Is there anything that is actually illegal in Holland?)

– that sources in the ‘Palestinian’ Authority say that any Israeli attempt to rescue kidnapped IDF Corporal Gilad Shalit would lead to his death. According to the sources, cited by Arutz Sheva’s Hagai Huberman, Shalit is being held in a booby-trapped building. The PA sources further asserted that senior Fatah and Hamas terrorist leaders, as well as senior security officials from Egypt and Israel, know many details about the location where Shalit is being held. However, the PA sources added, the relevant security forces believe that an attempt to rescue him is likely to lead to his death. (Ariel Sharon would have mounted a rescue no matter the outcome.)

– that new ‘Palestinian’ textbooks teach 12th graders in the ‘Palestinian’ Authority that hating and working to destroy Israel is a religious duty, according to a new report published by ‘Palestinian’ Media Watch [PMW] that will be presented to the Knesset Education Committee. The report quotes the textbook titled ‘Arabic Language, Analysis, Literature and Criticism’, in which the authors write of the 1948 war: ‘Palestine’s war ended with a catastrophe that is unprecedented in history, when the Zionist gangs stole ‘Palestine’ and expelled its people from their cities, their villages, their lands and their houses, and established the State of Israel.‘ (Some people have lived a lie all their lives, and expect others to live on with it when they die.)

– that Sri Lanka’s Tamil Tiger rebels conducted a two plane daring night-time bombing mission on a key air force base beside Sri Lanka’s only international airport. They managed to bring them home again before the air force’s superior warplanes could shoot them down. (If the Sri Lankan army was any good, this war would have been over a long time ago.)

– that public support for Shinzo Schizo Abe’s gover-min has sunk to 35%, a poll showed as the hawkish young premier marked a difficult six months in office. The cabinet’s approval rating has slumped from 67% shortly after he took office in late September, dropping 1% from February alone, the Mainichi newspaper reported. (When one plays more politics than doing real work, that’s the end result.)

– that Schizo, under fire for his remarks on World War II sex slaves, apologised again to the ‘comfort women’, saying he stood by a landmark 1993 statement. Abe, questioned in parliament by a leftist lawmaker on whether he would apologise to comfort women, said he was ready to do so. (Why did he even revisit this topic? It would have been forgotten other than the court cases that pops up every now and then. Why he bite that American bait was puzzling.)

– that Japan clandestinely asked Yasukuni to honour war criminals, showing the gover-min was closely involved in what has turned into a major diplomatic row, reports said. A document dated January 1969 shows the shrine consulted the gover-min on plans to list the names of top, or Class-A, war criminals, ‘without making it public’, the Yomiuri Shimbun newspaper said. The Yasukuni shrine discreetly added the names of 14 Class-A war criminals, who include hanged wartime premier Hideki Tojo, in October 1978. Another document dated April 1958 said the welfare ministry urged the shrine to list the names of hundreds of lower-ranking class-B and class-C war criminals. (Will they have Hirohito in there too? Maybe they should have Konkz-umi in there too when he dies.)

– that Thaksin Tham-sim Shinawatra’s wife was charged with tax evasion, in the first criminal case brought against his family since the coup six months ago. Pojaman Shinawatra, her step-brother Banpot Damapong and her personal secretary Kanchanapa Honghern were charged with tax evasion and perjury, court officials said. The case, which could see all three go to prison, stems from a 1997 deal in which Pojaman and her step-brother sold shares in Shinawatra Computer and Communication, which later became Thailand’s telecom giant Shin Corp. The charges are not related to last year’s controversial sale of Shin Corp to Singapore’s Temasek Holdings, a move which sparked street protests that eventually led to the September coup. (Time to pay for one’s greed.)

– that MFA said Indonesia has not released the detained vessels carrying granite. It was responding to media queries on whether Indonesia had released the vessels, following the meeting between George Yeo and his Indonesian counterpart Hassan Wirajuda in Nuremburg earlier this month. (Waiting for us to ‘ransom’ the vessels?)

– that while Singapore has been caught up in the excitement of trying to bring Formula 1 [F1] racing to its shores, Malaysia’s Youth and Sports Minister Azalina Othman Said finally broke her country’s silence in a candid interview and admitted she was worried by the developments and she does not want F1 engines to roar in Singapore. (They are kiasu too.)

– that Malaysia said that to attract funds into its growing Islamic banking sector, it will go easy on longstanding policies that favour ethnic Malays. Just last week, it had held out similar carrots to attract foreign investors to park funds in Johor’s ambitious Iskandar Development Region [IDR] project. Foreign Investment Committee rules stipulate all companies in Malaysia must be at least 30% held by Malays and indigenous groups, or bumiputras. But Malaysia is now keen to get local and foreign Islamic financial institutions to apply for licences to conduct business in foreign currencies. To make it more attractive for them, Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi – speaking at a keynote address to an Islamic finance forum – said that the rules would be relaxed to allow foreigners to own 100% of Islamic financial institutions. (First, dismantled most of Mama-thir’s delusions of grandeur. Then, not so unfriendly towards Singapore. Now this. No wonder Mama-thir is hopping mad.)

– that Malaysian transport minister Chan Kong Choy has denied a report that Malaysia and Singapore have approved construction of a bullet train rail linking the two countries, saying the plan is still being mulled. (There’s SIA and MAS flights in and out of KLIA to consider.)

– that tens of thousands of low-income civil servants serpents in Malaysia are moonlighting in second jobs, according to a news report published. Civil serpents in Malaysia are not paid well, and the last salary revision was 15 years ago, said Mr Omar, head of the Congress of Unions of Employees in the Public and Civil Service. (Did they regret being born in the wrong country? Should be born here. Pay raise regularly, act like king, and never had to admit your mistakes.)

Singapore This Week

– that Lim Shee Shee is confident workers understand the need for a review of civil $ervice and mini$terial pay. Speaking to the media at the Prophet Mohammed Birthday celebrations, Shee Shee says unionists have continued to reach out to the ground to explain the issue, that having the right talent in gover-min, could help strengthen tripartism. (When was the last time he spoke to a REAL worker? And perhaps he should try and make the guy getting only $290 from the PA Scheme understand this so-called ‘need’.)

– that the gover-min plans to spend up to $400 million to jazz up the visual arts scene with the conversion of the former Supreme Court and City Hall. (Makes one wonder how many percent of the GST went to that!)

– that sky-high prices at luxury launches such as Sky@Eleven, One Shenton and One North Residences over the past three months have lifted the private property market to a quarterly gain of 4.6%, according to flash estimates from the URA. The property price index rose from 130.2 points in the previous quarter to 136.2 points in the first quarter of this year, the highest increase in seven years. (Just don’t expect your everyday Joe to come up and say ‘Hallelujah!’ to that.)

– that the gover-min would not hesitate to ‘demolish’ those who crossed the line – i.e. floating subversive views anonymously – , Balek-rishnan also indicated it would not waste its time chasing every anonymous political blogger. On people who take anonymous potshots, Dr Balek-rishnan added: “No revolution in human history was started by anonymous leaders. Any political lea-duh worth his salt will sooner or later be unmasked and, therefore, can be dealt with or engaged on political terms, one on one.” (Easy to swat the fly – the blogger – out of the sky, but harder to swat a dandelion – the idea – into the submission.)

– that Lao Lee said Australia is no longer the ‘white trash of Asia’. That was how Lao Lee had described the country in the 1970s, but he said Australia is very different now. He made these comments in response to a reporter’s question after being conferred an honorary degree of laws by the Australian National University [ANU]. (Is Australia even part of Asia in the first place?)

– that Philip Fail-lip Yeo said Singapore would not have a future if the younger generation does not have a value system. On the sidelines of the opening of a new research and development plant in Singapore, Fail-lip questioned the value system of the younger generation. (Everyone has a value system. It might not necessarily be the one Fail-lip, or everyone else, can agree with.)

– that this started from an invitation by Fail-lip to a Chen Jiahao, a 25-year-old blogger who is a PhD student and a former Public Service Commission scholar, to join him for tea and turned into a heated online spat. Chen agreed to meet Fail-lip for tea but wanted another party to be present. He also wanted to record their conversation and post it on his blog. Fail-lip turned that idea down, saying he had wanted to invite Chen on a one-to-one basis and not to be ‘interrogated’ with the presence of a ‘witness’ and have the conversation published. (Maybe Chen wants to show off to a chick that he’s talking with a big shot?)

-that the to-and-fro exchange continued and it included topics such as how the young should speak to an older person. (Or an attempt by someone elderly stating the obvious to try force a concession? In Chinese, that’s what we called, 倚老卖老。)

– that the existing meter currently read manually by SP Services staff every other month would be gone, and in it’s place would come a new device that would display, and refresh half-hourly, the amount of electricity you have left. That is how all homes could be buying electricity, from their provider of choice, under the world’s first proposed prepaid electronic system linked to “intelligent” meters in the future. (So what is going to happen when the prepaid credits run out? Half way through your favourite show, the power goes off?)

– that according to sources, MCYS is considering building the permanent F1 track facility off the East Coast Parkway, near the Changi Naval Base, which could cost between US$150 million and US$200 million. (Right. And can Balek-rishnan explain why there isn’t a little more money for those on the Public Assistance plan when he can spare that kind of money?)

– that Balek-rishnan tell the media that one of its roles is to expose gover-min wrongdoings. “If there is something wrong in Singapore, if there is a problem, it must be reported. If a minister is corrupt or incompetent, he must be exposed… I expect the press to whistleblow,” Balek said during a question-and-answer session at the Foreign Correspondents Association [FCA]. (They probably won’t bother. After all, with the kind of pay a mini$ter gets, they are all squeaking clean. No corruption. No corruption at all. Anyone who writes something like this is probably up to no good and should end up like FEER.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that researchers in China are looking for paper mills to process fibre-rich panda excrement into high-quality paper. Officials at the Chengdu giant panda centre said the idea came to them after a visit to Thailand, where they found paper made from elephant dung. (Maybe they should find a way to ferment human crap and use the gases to produce electricity.)

– that research suggests that we are hard-wired with a strong and intuitive moral impulse – an urge to help others that is every bit as basic as the selfish urges that get all the press. Infants as young as 18 months will spontaneously comfort those who appear distressed and help those who are having difficulty retrieving or balancing objects. (Thanks for restoring my faith in mankind.)

– that UN health agencies recommended that heterosexual men undergo circumcision because of ‘compelling’ evidence that it can reduce their chances of contracting HIV by up to 60%. But experts at the WHO and the UN AIDS agency said that men must be aware that circumcision is only partial protection against the virus and must be used with other measures. (Like how did they come to that conclusion? They get a circumcised man to have sex with an AIDS infected woman and found that it took them more times to get infected?)

– that Sun Ho denied that a report on the Taiwanese media that she was sexually abused by a ‘neighbour uncle’ for 5 years. (Everything exists for a reason. Including so-called ‘malicious rumours’.)

– that in an explanation to a customer who wrote to the press about SIA’s bad service, SIA explained that airlines would normally practise a certain level of overbooking to take into account passengers who fail to turn up for the flight despite holding confirmed bookings. (Just how many percent of overbooking is SIA’s ‘a certain level’?)

The following letter is perhaps one of the better ‘mind-fxxk’ pieces I have read for awhile. While it ‘s arguing for mini$terial pay increment, to some it appears to say something else.

Apparently, the contrast used while justifying mini$terial pay seems to stand out more prominently than the rest of the groveling and boot-cum-arse licking craps.

Note: Contrast in letter is underlined and in bold.

Don’t begrudge mini$ter$ a pay hike

PAY FOR MINI$TER$ AND CIVIL $ERVICE
March 28, 2007

THE subject of paying our mini$ter$ a top salary pegged to a private-sector benchmark has always been a controversial and emotive issue to most ordinary Singaporeans, especially when they are struggling to keep pace with the ever-increasing cost of living.

What exactly is the worth of our mini$ter$? They are of high calibre with sharp minds, toiling for the country and sacrificing their privacy, family time and a top salary which they could easily command in the private sector or in their chosen professions.

In many countries we see some politicians joining the cabinet ranks, coming in as scarecrows and leaving political office after one or two terms as fat cows.

Look at our mini$ter$. Most of them look haggard and aged well before their time. Mr Raymond Lim and Mr Lim Swee Say have been mini$ter$ for less than a term and they have already lost their youthful look, burdened by the responsibilities of high office.

I am an admirer of the PAP Tali-PAP gover-min and, at the same time, a robust critic on a number of issues, such as the bulk of prestigious scholarships going to the children of top earners at the expense of more-deserving children from low-income families who do equally well academically despite lacking the resources available to their richer counterparts, and the harsh treatment meted out to political dissidents to the extent of driving them away from their beloved Singapore.

I have been voting since the 1959 General Election and I have voted more times for the opposition than the Tali-PAP.

We have an administrative system that is efficient and transparent. Go to any gover-min department or agency and all you have to do is take a queue number and wait for your turn to be served.

I can’t think of another country where adult citizens are regularly given handouts in the form of shares, Workfare bonuses and CPF top-ups, and civil servants $erpents get mid-year and year-end bonuses, on top of 13th-month pay, along with additional variable performance bonuses.

This is wealth creation and wealth sharing at its best, made possible by a gover-min led by an able team of mini$ter$ with the support of the people.

Probity, integrity and incorruptibility are the hallmark of our mini$ter$. Some of them are worth their weight in gold. The public should not begrudge a pay increase for them.

The World since the last TGIF

– that the Yangtze River gets more than half of China’s industrial waste and sewage. Europe’s Danube has lost most of its surrounding wetlands. And the Rio Grande has become so shallow that salt water is seeping in, bringing ocean fish that threaten freshwater species. Pollution, global warming and rampant development could destroy some of the world’s most iconic rivers in the coming decades, threatening to wipe out thousands of fish species and cause severe water shortages, the World Wide Fund for Nature said in a report. Only 21 of the planet’s 177 longest rivers run freely from source to sea, with dams and other construction destroying the habitats for migratory fish and other species by altering the water’s natural ebb and flow, the WWF said. About a fifth of the world’s 10,000 freshwater fish and plant species are either extinct or endangered, the report said, calling on gover-mins to radically step up efforts to preserve rivers, lakes and wetlands. (If no plague or war destroy us, the environment will have its revenge.)

– that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against Bill Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group. “The honest answer is yes,” Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson. “There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There’s certainly times when I’ve fallen short of God’s standards.” (Most of the American public won’t know better even when these shithead Republicans have got absolutely no standards anyway.)

– that Gingrich argued in the interview, however, that he should not be viewed as a hypocrite for pursuing Clinton’s infidelity. (He’s just living up to being a political jackal.)

– that a U.S. appeals court struck down a 30-year-old Washington, D.C., law that bans handguns in homes, a precedent-setting ruling that dealt a setback to a city with one of America’s highest crime rates. By a 2-1 vote, the appeals court broadly interpreted an individual’s constitutional right under the Second Amendment to bear arms, and concluded the law violated those rights. The Second Amendment says, “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” (What meaning is there to this amendment when you take out the subject: A well regulated militia? Isn’t this saying that the a well regulated militia, being the right of the people to bear arm, shall not be infringed? It’s not a justification for people to possess arms! * sigh *)

– that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Warmonger Bush should be given ‘the gold medal for hypocrisy’ as Warmonger embarked on a tour of Latin America aimed at making new friends. “You’ve got to give the U.S. president the gold medal for hypocrisy, because he’s said now he’s worried about poverty in Latin America,” Chavez told reporters soon after landing in Buenos Aires. “Now he’s discovering … after so many years that there’s poverty in Latin America, precisely when the U.S. empire is the principal culprit.” (The American gover-mins have been a principal culprit in quite a number of problems in the world, not just Latin America.)

– that as Warmonger arrived in Brazil, he brought with him a message that he believes has been lost on the region: U.S. concerns about persistent poverty have prompted a doubling of economic aid to Latin America since 2001. To make the claim, however, Warmonger is relying on what some analysts called an accounting gimmick. In fact, they said, U.S. aid to Latin America has remained relatively stable since 2000. And the budget Warmonger sent to Congress last month proposed cutting aid from $1.6 billion to $1.47 billion, an 8% reduction. Analysts note that Warmonger is using a misleading base line, comparing 2007’s figure with 2001, a year when Latin American aid was essentially cut in half temporarily to make up for a large military aid package for Colombia and five neighbors. Moreover, Bush never mentions in his comments that he just proposed cutting the figure he cites in next year’s budget. (Once a liar, always a liar.)

– that Australia’s Muslims announced plans to form a political party to fight what they call growing Islamophobia, spawned by the so-called war on terror. The move came as the lea-duh of a Christian party demanded an immediate halt to Islamic immigration to Australia, saying Muslims were beginning to dominate some communities. Leading the drive for Australia’s 300,000 Muslims to take on the mainstream parties is controversial ‘cleric’ Sheikh Shit Taj Aldin al-Hilali, who has the title Mufti of Australia. Hilali stirred up a storm of protest late last year when he described scantily-dressed women as ‘uncovered meat’ inviting rape. (What these guys are truly about is not religion or God, but politics.)

– that an Australian Senate Committee hearing into the proposed US$8.8-billion takeover bid of its national carrier was told that day-release inmates from Changi Prison and unqualified engineers were used to clean and maintain the airliner’s fleet – a claim that angry Qantas officials slammed as ‘outrageous’. Qantas’ executive general manager David Cox dismissed the allegations as ‘part of an industrially-motivated campaign aimed at protecting uncompetitive work practices in Australia’. (They will come up with that even if the planes were serviced in some world class facility in Europe.)

– that a Singapore Prison Service spokesman, backed Qantas’ denial and mentioned, “No inmates under our custody are involved in the cleaning of any aircraft.” (No self respecting country would have take that lying down!)

– that Libya’s lea-duh Muammar Gaddafi has complained that Western countries have failed to properly compensate his nation for scrapping its nuclear arms programme and as a result countries such as Iran and North Korea would not follow his lead. Speaking on the 30th anniversary of his declaration of Libya as a Jamahiriyah [state of the masses], he said that the West had failed to help transform his nuclear weapons programme into nuclear power. (Well, Gaddafi should be happy they didn’t find more excuses to make it more economically miserable for Libya, the same way the U.S. did to North Korea.)

– that the ongoing genocide in Sudan’s Darfur region was the world’s worst human rights abuse in 2006, the U.S. said, in a report concluding that freedoms have eroded elsewhere, including fledgling U.S.-backed democracies in Afghanistan and Iraq. (What about Guantanamo?)

– that Zimbabwean tyrant Robert Mugabe told his critics of his gover-min to ‘go hang’ themselves in his first response to the arrest and assault of opposition chief Morgan Tsvangirai. After talks with Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete, who had gone to Harare in a bid to mediation between Mugabe and the opposition, the tyrant accused Tsvangirai’s Movement for Democratic Change of instigating violence. (Would you believe someone who asked you to go hang simply because you criticised him?)

– that Jordan’s King Abdullah II called on the U.S. to help end the ‘bitter legacy of disappointment and despair’ in the ‘Palestinian’ territories and to ‘take risks’ to help achieve a lasting Middle East peace. (Not if the ‘Palestinian’ losers like Hamas and ‘Islamic’ Jihad had anything to say about it.)

– that Abu Omar al-Baghdadi, whose name means ‘from Baghdad’, lea-duh of the terrorist group ‘Islamic’ State of Iraq, was arrested in western Baghdad, the Iraqi Interior Ministry said. The Sunni terrorist group has claimed responsibility for many attacks against the U.S. and Iraqi forces in Iraq, including the downing of U.S. helicopters. (They should show him the room which Saddam was hang and also put his head into the noose. Maybe he’ll be more talkative after that.)

– that the ‘Islamic’ State of Iraq was formerly known as the Mujahedeen Shura Council, a group formed in December 2005 after the now killed al Qaeda in Iraq lea-duh Abu Musab al-Zarqawi called on terrorist groups to unite their fight against the ‘infidels’. After the death of al-Zarqawi in a U.S. raid in June 2006, Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, also known as Abu Ayyub al-Masri, took over as head of al Qaeda in Iraq and lea-duh of the Mujahedeen Shura Council. The ‘Islamic’ State of Iraq was formed in October 2006 to replace the council, and all of the group’s members pledged allegiance to al-Baghdadi. Al-Masri pledged his allegiance to al-Baghdadi, putting his claimed 12,000 al Qaeda in Iraq men at “the service of the ‘Islamic’ State of Iraq”. (Well, the Americans should just say ‘al-Baghdadi was captured based on intelligence from an source which has infiltrated the high levels within Al Qaeda in Iraq’. Help them along in their power struggles so some of them might just kill one another to make themselves weaker.)

– that Ahmadinejad accused some major powers of waging a psychological war to try and hinder Iran’s progress, saying they wanted to portray Iranians through a film as being savage. Ahmadinejad did not name the film but his comments appeared to be directed at ‘300’, which depicts a 480 B.C. battle between Greeks and Persians that Iranian officials and the public say seeks to vilify Iran. The film is seen in Iran as part of a broader effort to undermine the Islamic Republic, which is locked in a standoff with the West over its nuclear programme. The West accuses Iran of trying to make nuclear weapons. Tehran denies the charge. (Ahmadinejad has himself done more to vilify Iran than the West ever could.)

– that China accused the U.S. of hypocrisy in its annual response to Washington’s criticism of Beijing’s human rights record, saying it had no right to blacken the name of other countries. (It is a sad day when the matter of human rights is made a political tool. After all, it’s unlikely the Americans or the Chinese give a damn about the rights of those which are abused.)

– that China’s promise not to sentence the most wanted fugitive Lai Changxing to death is an essential prerequisite to have him repatriated from Canada, said Ni Shouming, a spokesman for the Supreme People’s Court in Beijing. :ai was accused of being the mastermind behind the country’s largest smuggling ring. He fled to Canada in 1999 and has remained there. China wants to bring him back to face charges of smuggling, bribery and tax evasion. (Maybe he has something so important to tell that Hu Jintao preferred to keep him alive.)

– that the Dalai Lama is unlikely ever to return to Tibet unless he completely abandons the idea of independence for the remote Himalayan region, Tibet’s Chinese-appointed lea-duh said. “I think if the Dalai Lama cannot truly abandon his ideas of Tibetan independence in word and in deed and fully abandon his independence activities, then his hope of returning to Tibet will be slim,” said Champa Phuntsok, chairman of the Tibetan gover-min. China has accused the Dalai Lama of waging a clandestine campaign for formal independence, though he says he wants only greater autonomy in hopes of preserving Tibet’s Buddhist culture. (It might be interesting to note that should the Dalai Lama return, people like Champa Phuntsok might no longer have a job. In that light, maybe it’s easy to understand why some people tries very hard to prevent the Dalai Lama from returning home in spite of the fact that the Dalai Lama has on several occasions indicated that it is best for Tibet to be part of China, and that he wants only autonomy, not independence.)

– that Shinzo Schizo Abe has accused overseas media of inaccurately reporting his views on Japan’s wartime army brothels and fuelling an outcry. Schizo caused an uproar early this month when he said there was no hard evidence to show that so-called ‘comfort women’ were forced by the army into sexual slavery ‘in the strict sense of coercion’. He later elaborated that he was talking about physical coercion such as soldiers kidnapping women for brothels. (Imaginative, Schizo. Only an astute politician can come up with such a lame explanation to try and get out of his current predicament.)

– that tears trickle down Virginia Villarma’s weathered face as she recalls the day back in 1943 when she lost her youth and her innocence. Sent out by her aunt to get some food she was attacked by a group of Japanese soldiers on a suburban Manila street and tossed like an animal into the back of a jeep. Then just 14 years old, she was taken to a barracks in the port area and thrown into a bare room where she was stripped and raped repeatedly by soldiers, three or four at a time. (Come Schizo and face the victims. See if you can say it in their eyes it didn’t happen.)

– that victims of U.S. air raids on Tokyo in World War II and their families sued the Japanese gover-min for 1.23 billion yen. They alleged the gover-min started the war and took too long to stop it. The 10-3-1945 bombing of Tokyo, which took place just after midnight, engulfed the capital in a firestorm that killed an estimated 100,000 people. In the landmark lawsuit filed on the eve of the 62nd anniversary of the bombings, 112 citizens affected by the attacks argued that had the gover-min ended the war sooner, the raids would not have taken place. (Hmm… can my grandmother and a lot of survivors also sue the Japanese gover-min? Because if the Japanese didn’t start the war, they wouldn’t have suffered either!)

– that Mitsubishi Heavy Industries Ltd. plans to finance a Bulgarian wind farm by using the resulting greenhouse gas emission rights as collateral, the first such financing plan in the world. A joint venture between Mitsubishi Heavy and a local construction company will build an offshore wind farm in the Black Sea, using 35 of the Japanese firm’s 1,000 kilowatt turbines. The project will reduce CO2 emissions by about 80,000 tons a year as a result of the switch from existing conventional thermal power plants to the new wind farm, earning emission credits. The emission credits will then be sold to the operator of the Japan GHG Reduction Fund, a consortium of 33 Japanese firms that includes trading giant Mitsubishi Corp. The plant, slated to start operation next year, will sell electricity to Bulgaria’s state-owned power utility. (That’s interesting. So by having some poor sod not emit greenhouse gases, it earns someone the right to continue doing so? Sounds very much like a different version of the medieval papal indulgence…)

– that the former Japanese prime minister Yasuhiro Nakasone has denied setting up a military brothel while serving in Borneo during WWII, but said his country should apologise for the suffering of women forced to act as sex slaves for soldiers. Nakasone said he did not recall any involvement in the notorious ‘comfort stations’ which have caused embarrassment to a generation of politicians who took part in the conflict. But in his 1978 memoirs, Navy Without End, he wrote: “Some [soldiers] started assaulting [local] women and others started to indulge in gambling. I took great pains to set up a comfort station for them.” Pressed on his memories of his wartime service, Nakasone said: “I looked after facilities and I was in charge of looking after 2,000 engineers, not military people. (And yes, the world believes you, Nakasone. If they are all idiots…)

– that Chen Shui Bian took another step to assert Taiwan’s separatist agenda. Outlining his ‘four wants and one no’ policy, he said, ‘Taiwan wants “independence”, Taiwan wants to change its official title, Taiwan wants a new constitution, Taiwan wants development. Taiwan does not have left or right wing politics, only the issue of reunification and “independence”.’ (Hu Jintao should just reply to him in Taiwanese: 你讲三小？[What the fxxk are you talking about?])

– that Taiwan’s KMT and it’s ally, the People First Party, have announced they strongly opposes a draft of the ‘second republic constitution’ proposed by a professor from Taiwan University, according to reports of Taiwan media. The basic principle of the ‘second republic constitution’ is to seek ‘Taiwan independence’, which will damage Taiwan’s safety and bring about a risk of war, said Yang Tu, the director of the KMT publicity department. (All of these is meaningless when it does not improve the economic lot of the Taiwanese people at all.)

– that a Nazi society formed by a group of Taiwanese university students had sparked widespread condemnation. Jewish groups as well as the gover-min slammed the society which used Hitler as its icon. (The education system in Taiwan definitely has a serious problem. But again, when the educational mini$ter himself says the story of ‘Three Little Pigs’ makes ‘Three Little Pigs’ an idiom… just what the heck can anyone expect?!)

– that Indonesia’s Environment Mini$ter has said his ministry will study the environmental impact of granite quarrying in the Riau islands, a hint that the material may be banned from export. (Still working on applying pressure on us, huh?)

– that Indonesia’s Foreign Mini$ter Hassan Wirajuda has assured Singapore that the process of verifying alleged breaches of regulation by several granite-carrying barges will be transparent. He told George Yeo that an inter-departmental team visited the Riaus last week to investigate the detention of the barges by the Indonesian Navy and found that some of the barges were in breach of regulations. Wirajuda also clarified that, contrary to what recent media reports said, the Indonesian cabinet is not considering a proposal to ban granite exports. (Of course. Not getting the money they think is in Singapore is one thing, losing an already constant income, is another entirely.)

– that Indonesia’s new air transport chief has threatened to close down all airlines which fail to meet safety standards within the next three months. Mr Budhi Muliawan Suyitno said that the gover-min would announce this week a new national rating system, following a review of commercial airlines operating in the country – and those at the bottom may be closed. “In the three-month period, we will give the airlines the chance to improve their compliance with safety regulations,” he was reported as saying in the Jakarta Post. “We aim to secure zero-accident status within the next few years.” (Or is it just 3 minute enthusiasm? Or just a new boss trying to show he’s boss [新官上任三把火]?)

– that Indonesia has audited every one of its airlines in the wake of a spate of aviation disasters and the report card is worrying. The airlines were classified into three categories – with a top one indicating that the safety standrads were high. Not a single Indonesian carrier qualified for the top group. On the other hand, 13 domestic airlines and cargo companies, including flag carrier Garuda Indonesia, were placed in the second category. This indicated that while they had met many of the safety requirements, they had not met them all. (They probably should do the same for each administration and maybe they would then also discover none of them has been effective, nor efficient.)

– that non-Muslims converting to Islam will no longer need to change their names to bin or bte Abdullah, the Perlis State Fatwa Council ruled. Perlis Mufti Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin said the edict was aimed at addressing complaints by converts whose requests to retain their original surnames were rejected. If someone by the name of Sami son of Raju were to convert to Islam, he would have his name changed to Sami bin Raju instead of Sami bin Abdullah, the Mufti said. (Ah Kow bin Choo would be so funny…)

– that Malaysia made its largest single drug bust ever when it seized RM 14 million worth of fake sex pills labelled ‘Miagra’. Health Minister Chua Soi Lek said his ministry’s enforcement team and customs officials last week detained a container from Singapore loaded with 142 boxes containing 1.4 million Miagra capsules. (Container from Singapore? So much for all that anti-terror measures at Singapore’s port and customs.)

– that in its biggest and boldest move to attract more foreign investment, Malaysia is scrapping, in Johor’s new economic zone at least, policies that have favoured bumiputeras since the 1970s. While the details have yet to be spelt out, foreign investors in Johor’s Iskandar Development Region (IDR) will not be encumbered with providing 30% equity to a bumiputera partner. The move is aimed at creating a new engine of growth in Johor’s southern part so that over the next five to 20 years, it will grow into a major regional financial and manufacturing hub, providing jobs for 800,000 workers. Separately, the gover-min is abolishing property gains tax in Malaysia to boost the flagging property market and lure foreign investment. (Have they finally figured out that the 30% equity only fatten a selected group of people but not all the people?)

Singapore since the last TGIF

– that exempting essential items from GST is not the most ‘effective’ way of helping low-income families, said Tharman Shanmugaratnam. This is because the bulk of their funds is not spent on essentials. The better-off will save more because they spend more on these items. In an example, where uncooked food was not taxed, Thumby said that for every $1 saved by the bottom 20%, the remaining families would save $14 each. (Get this, Thumby. $1 meant a lot to the people in need of money while $14 doesn’t mean so much for those who need it.)

– that ‘this means that for the amount we are saving for the low-income segment, we’ll be losing $420 million each year from the rest’. ($420million can increase a lot of people’s pay, hor?)

– that Thumby noted that the bottom 20% of homes spend one-third of their funds on housing, education and health care, for which the gover-min ‘absorbs’ GST. (Absorb? Or just decided not to take? Above which, when you sell your unit cost $55,000 houses at a selling price of $160,000 at least, it more or less already made up for the GST you so called ‘absorbed’.)

– that corporate tax is reduced 2% to ‘offset’ the GST hike. (Well, whoever says the 2% reduction of tax will be the same as or more than the 1.5% extra CPF paid out per year by the company? It’s not like company performance will be the same or always improving. And guess who will bite the bullet again when retrenchments start again?)

-that when research engineer Ken Ong, 31 did his sums, he found that larger families sharing a bigger flat will lose out in the GST offset package. This is because the amount they get is based on their home’s annual value, not on how many people live in it. “For lower-income Singaporeans who supported the gover-min’s call to live with their parents…they will receive less GST offsets as they have bigger homes,” he said. Dr. Ong, a research engineer, said a couple earning $2,000 in all, supporting parents and two children, would get more if they lived in a three-room flat and their parents, in a two-room flat. “By splitting up, they get 24% more in GST rebates,” he said, using the household benefits calculator on the Finance Ministry’s website to do his sums. (It’s not too late to find out that Singaporeans are often short-changed and taken for idiots.)

– that there are Singaporeans in their 70s and 80s who have no kin, and even with help from the Public Assistance (PA) scheme, they still survive only by skipping one meal a day. Lily Neo, Tali-PAP MP for Jalan Besar, stood out as the voice of strongest dissatisfaction with the plans by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) to raise the amount of public assistance by between $30 and $115 a month to those who have no means of income due to age, illness or disability. The MCYS said it had crafted these increments in line with inflation and the impending GST hike. Lily Neo said, “My senior constituents told me they need to skip one meal a day [so as to manage on the monthly PA amount of $260], and now, MCYS is going to give them $1 more a day. But $1 a day will not be able to buy them a meal in any hawker centre.” (Not even good enough to get a packet of Magnolia Fresh Milk, actually. It’s $1.15 a packet at Cold Storage.)

– that not content with Vivian Balakrishnan’s Balekrishnan’s reply that the PA entitlements have to be kept low so as not to erode the incentive to work, Lily Neo remarked that ‘surely this argument shouldn’t be applied to PA recipients because this group of people can never work’. She added: “Shouldn’t providing three meals a day be a priority of his promise [to help the poor cope with higher costs of living]?” (Did Lily Neo ever ask if she signed up for the WRONG political party? By the way, it makes one wonder if the true meaning of ‘incentive to work’ in this case simply means ‘Find a way and to make yourself useful’. Doesn’t matter you really can’t because no one will ever believe you!)

– that as Lily Neo persisted for the third time, Balekrishnan asked: “How much do you want?” He said there was ‘enough, by and large’ for most of the recipients to get by on the current PA scheme. There was also a wide spectrum of help available for those in greater distress. (An extra $6 million, at least, Balekrishnan. You can do away with that stupid bicycle & skate board park in East Coast.)

– that Lily Neo said at a grassroots event subsequently: “I think we should raise it up to S$400 because we did a survey on 32 cases, and they need at least S$400 for basic living. They don’t have family members so they need other things such as social needs, mental needs and physical needs. This can be done by other helping hands. But the basic roof over their heads, the three meals a day, I feel that MCYS should be able to provide adequately.” (Maybe it will happen when Balek-rishnan suddenly lost the everything – i.e. friends, the ability to work, and access to all his money – except $260, and discovered how hard it is to get by with that amount for a whole month.)

– that MCYS is open to the idea of setting up a counselling and resource centre to help foreign-born athletes integrate into Singapore society. NMP Jessie Phua noted that 12 foreign-born athletes under the Foreign Sports Talent [FST] scheme have left Singapore over the past few years. They include Brazilian soccer player Egmar Goncalves, shuttler Xiao Luxi and, the latest, China-born table tennis player Zhang Xueling, who quit to join her husband in Shanghai. Mrs Phua, the Singapore Bowling Federation president, wondered if a central counselling and resource centre would help new citizens adapt to life here. MCYS Parliamentary Secretary Mr Teo Ser Luck said it was ‘something to consider’. (What should be considered is that the MCYS should abolish the FST completely and save the money for the needy whom they are paying out just $1 a day and think those people can survive on it. After all, a medal in 2007 means nothing in 2008, and national pride can never fill your bellies.)

– that Teo revealed the concept design for the international-standard Skatepark at East Coast Park. Enabling extreme skateboarders, inline skaters and BMX bikers to hone their skills, the 3,000-sq-m Skatepark is estimated to cost $6 million and should be completed by early next year. ($6 million for this piece of shit and not a dollar more for the needy. Well done MCYS.)

– that Zhang Xueling, a China-born Singapore citizen, obtained her Singapore citizenship in 2001, and was groomed to be a top player and had beaten other international top players during the Athens Olympics in 2004. She chose to leave Singapore for China to be with her husband. All this within a short span of five years. Another China-born former Singaporean table-tennis player, Xu Yan, has also left our country, for Germany. (Stop wasting our time and money trying to pursue such useless honours. The money is better spent on the needy.)

– that many people are upset that up to estates of $12 million, the estate tax is 5% and all remaining estates in excess of $12 million are taxed at 10%. (Well, the richer you are, the more stingy you become. It has been noted that a friend who earns $1800 a month has never hesitated on giving a treat of beer at $20 a jug, but someone who earns at least $20,000 a month took very long to get $2 out of his wallet to pay for 3 other people’s breakfast.)

– that Baby Lee said the community can come together to play its part to help those in need. (Play a part, yes. Not play THE part.)

– that as inflation rose by 1% overall last year, the brunt of higher prices – especially for housing – once again fell on the lowest-earning 20% of Singapore society. The lowest 20% spending more than half their expenditure on food and housing, it is likely that the CPI will go up further when the GST kicks in, come July. (The GST is really a great help to the lower income.)

– that Lao Goh said Singapore is leaking talent. And it’s not just ordinary talent, but its best and finest. (If they are the best and finest, then what does that made the million dollar mini$ter$ who aren’t leaving? Second best!)

– that Lao Goh said, “The issue which we are most concerned with is the loss of our own people at the very top. These are bright young people, children of very well educated Singaporeans. “They do not want to come back to Singapore. They want the experience of working in foreign universities, banks and companies.” Some may study overseas, and the best ones were harvested straight away by companies there. And this often starts a spiral that ends up with Singapore losing these talents. (Clearly, there are two kinds of people who will leave. The first, the kind Lao Goh is talking about, they can clearly see Singapore for what it is, a real life ‘Matrix’. The second, those who can’t take it anymore and would do anything to leave. So what’s left? The second best and the f**ked up who are afraid of change; and those who knows what is wrong and want to change it, those who knows what is wrong but decided they are powerless to change it or too afraid to change it, those who are unwilling to leave for whatever reasons, and those who doesn’t even believe or know that something is wrong to even see a need to change.)

– that the battle for talent has not just been between various countries. Closer to home, the gover-min stands to lose civil servants serpents to the private sector. Lao Goh said that it had been mentioned in Parliament that salaries in the civil service will be reviewed. Mini$ter$’ salaries are now pegged to those of civil serpents. (Anyone would have guessed this when they raised GST, even though they would have vehemently state it has nothing to do with it.)

– that more lawyers and accountants in the civil service are jumping ship to the private sector thanks to the allure of many perks, such as better pay. According to figures released by the Public Service Division [PSD], nearly 46% of all legal service officers have tendered their resignations over the past year for greener pastures. Some lawyers have eventually gone on to earn over 30% more than what they did in the civil service. 42% of accountants tendered their resignations over the past 12 months, citing reasons such as better pay and prospects in the private sector. (First it was a rosy picture about IT jobs and the pay in the market. Then it’s about lawyers and accountants quitting. Let me guess: The next pay increment for civil servants will see some of these people getting paid better. And remember, when it happens, you heard it from here first!)

– that to keep pace with the growing salaries of the private sector, the gover-min is revising the pay of its mini$ter$ and civil serpents. For officers of the Administrative service – the cream of the civil service – this is the first time that an adjustment has been made since 2000. (No need to guess what happens to a rapist when he tries this in his defense: “It’s been the first time I fxxked since 2000.”)

– that in the race for ‘Best Airport Worldwide’ – Incheon finished first, Hong Kong’s Chek Lap Kok second, KLIA third and Changi fourth. (Well, Singapore needs to first learn how to be a ‘World Class Loser’ to bleed some of the kiasu-ism out of the system. But of course, losing to Malaysia leaves a bad taste in the mouth.)

– that NS commitments could now be put on hold for selected ‘elite athletes’ who need an exceptional training and support programme to help realise their Olympic medal prospects. MINDEF confirmed that two more so-called ‘elite athletes’ – national sailors Teo Wee Chin and Terence Koh – have been granted disruption from their full-time NS commitments to train full-time for next year’s Olympic Games. (And what good is that? Whatever glory and pride the country gets from it, how does it benefit the people? That’s not even mentioning that the money to award these jokers if they win – and that’s a big if – comes from the state budget and that means a portion of the GST we pay!)

– that the SAF is headed by a lieutenant-general, and it has two major-generals and over 20 brigadier-generals. (Yep. 20 more potential mini$ter$ or head of state agencies like the HDB etc etc.)

– that Philip Fail-lip Yeo bid farewell to his yet-to-be-realised dream, but not without making clear that there is no change in the gover-min’s thrust despite a high-profile debate sparked off by Lao Lee’s daughter, Wei Ling, a neurologist. That storm, as Mr Yeo described it, shocked not only local scholars but also the big-name scientists wooed, and sometimes cajoled, by the man himself to do research here. He also invoked the stature and clout of Lao Lee to send this message to the whales [brand-name scientists] and guppies [younger Singapore scientists]. (A parting shot, Fail-lip?)

– that in a reply to a question on whether the gover-min was listening to her concerns that Singapore’s biomedical sciences might be heading down the wrong road, Dr Lee told the news agency: “All I can say is that maybe they are having a rethink.” A*Star later said in a statement that ‘there is no rethink or change in the gover-min’s biomedical sciences policy’. (No U-turns, no re-thinks, of course. It will just be a new path it is taking after ‘changes in the situation required a new course of action’.)

that when asked to comment on Fail-lip’s latest remarks, Dr Lee, who is director of the National Neuroscience Institute, told Today: “I stand by my views… Sometimes, the observer on the ground has a truer picture than the observer from the helicopter.” (Well, it might appear that even her dad didn’t agree with that.)

– that we should expect ERP charges and more gantries to control traffic flow as Singapore’s population expands. This is inevitable, said Baby Lee at a post-Budget dialogue with community lea-duhs. (Whether it is inevitable or not is not the issue, but whether it serves the purpose it is claimed to server or not.)

– that former Tali-PAP MP Tan Cheng Bock once said in a debate on a Bill that ‘having spoken strongly against the Bill, I am now required to vote for it because the Party Whip is not lifted’. It is in this regard that Tali-PAP MPs are restrained from doing much else apart from raising their views in Parliament. Although NMPs are not similarly restrained, they find themselves unable to vote on Constitutional amendments and Supply Bills, for example. (They cannot even abstain? Then what’s the point? They might as well just be like China’s NPC.)

– that the Fort Canning Tunnel costs 34 million dollars and the destruction of the old National Library – which some considered a National Monument. It saves only 5 minutes of travel by vehicle from Stamford Road to Penang Road. (Maybe not so beneficial for everyone, but it does benefit you because it is 5 minutes closer when you make a trip from the Parliamentary House to Oxley All’s-Lee Road.)

– that the high-tech, energy saving National Library with an avant-garde design in the nostalgic Bugis district cost US$120 million to build, an investment aimed at promoting love of reading among the members of the pop culture and videogame generation. (So there was a total cost of approximately S$210 million in total, to replace what some called an eyesore – i.e. the old National Library – and to build an approximately 400 meters long tunnel.)

– that massive traffic jams and huge crowds of bargain hunters clogged up the area around Suntec City, rushing to pick up last-minute deals at the IT Show 2007. The situation got so bad that at around 3pm, the upward-riding escalators at the convention centre were reversed to prevent more people from entering the exhibition halls on the third, fourth and sixth floors. (The ID-10-Ts just don’t get it… whatever savings there are isn’t worth it when you need to squeeze or wait 30 minutes for a freaking parking lot.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that the practice of outsourcing has not really brought in its much-touted benefits for companies, according to Deloitte Consulting’s latest outsourcing survey of 280 of the world’s biggest global firms. The survey revealed that outsourced work have been plagued by underperformance and cost overruns, leading companies to start counting beans and to manage such work proactively. (You outsource risk and weaknesses, not every single damned thing.)

– that Acer is going to try to make a major purchase in the PC world this year and says it will pass Lenovo to become the third largest computer maker in the world. With an acquisition under its belt, Acer would likely pass Lenovo to become the No. 3 PC maker in the world. Even without an acquisition, however, Acer will likely pass Lenovo, based in mainland China, anyway, Wang said. Acer will likely grow units by 30% or more this year, he said, while the industry will grow at a slower rate (It can be bigger than Lenovo whenever it like. But will it be… better?)

– that a Mdm Lam Mun Wai complained that local schools are ‘conservative’ and said that they do not allow the students to use their cell phones. She asked, “How do you expect students to learn to use their phones properly in public if they are not allowed to do so in school?” (There is something called the instruction manual. And if Mdm Lam is talking about phone etiquette, what has usage in school got anything to do with it? Isn’t the matter of teaching courtesy and etiquette the responsibility of parents?)

– that some students from RJC were ‘weeping and hanging their heads in shame’ for not getting a perfect score in their A levels. (Oh.. so sad. Can always use the corridor of any HDB flat. For what? Jump! End your misery if you bozos think a less than perfect score is the end of the world. The papers could use the space for more tragic news.)

– that a job that is low in skill, status and opportunities is called a McJob, according to British dictionaries and popular slang. (Isn’t it sad that old folks in Singapore are the ones taking up McJobs here?)

– that Singaporeans are among the world’s most weight-conscious people, says a report on the use of slimming pills. Singapore ranks fifth in per capita usage of appetite-suppressants called anorectics, according to the UN report. (When you are 1.61m tall and 50kg and you still think you are too fat, go talk to a psychiatrist.)

– that polar bears, sea ice and global warming are taboo subjects, at least in public, for some U.S. scientists attending meetings abroad, environmental groups and a top federal wildlife official said. Environmental activists called this scientific censorship, which they said was in line with the Bush administration’s regime’s history of muzzling dissent over global climate change. (Maybe Chavez is right. Warmonger is the devil. He has already successfully turned Iraq into a hell on Earth. His next step will be to make the whole Earth a hell and making things hot is the first step. Poor poor polar bears.)

– that a new study by German scientists of spiders’ copulation techniques found that males leave part of their sex organ inside their female partner as a sort of ‘chastity belt’ to deter rivals. After setting the tone by shaking the female’s web, the male has only seconds to have sex before the larger female kills him. In over 80% of cases, the tip of the male’s genital organ breaks off inside the female. This appears to be the result of a hasty getaway – but also leaves behind a sort of chastity belt that keeps other males away, the study showed. “By breaking off parts of their intromittent organs inside a virgin female, males can reduce sperm competition and thereby increase their paternity success,” the Bonn University researchers wrote in the journal Behavioral Ecology. (If I am surely going to die after I fxxk, I will also break off my dick to block the other dicks.)

– that Europe’s food watchdog is to assess whether meat and dairy products from cloned animals are safe to eat. The European Food Safety Authority [EFSA] was asked by the European Commission to look into the future impacts of livestock cloning. (Get your lea-duhs to eat them for 10 years. And if they don’t develop some funny disease and die in that 10 years, it will probably be safe to eat.)

– that the seven-figure bonuses that private banks dished out recently may have made their recipients very happy – but for the rest of the workforce, the picture is much bleaker. Last year’s rosy economy, especially in the banking and finance sectors, saw top investment banks such as the Goldman Sachs Group and Morgan Stanley pay out hefty rewards to their staff in the U.S. In Singapore, DBS’ top honchos Jackson Tai and Frank Wong reportedly received between $5.3 million and $6.3 million in cash bonuses and shares. (And yes. Head honchos and front office only. Back Office staff can sleep earlier and try to dream.)

– that the average worker – including those in the booming financial sector – who had high hopes of a bumper bonus is likely to be disappointed. According to a global survey by international recruitment consultancy Robert Walters, more than 7 in 10 workers worldwide were unhappy with their bonuses this year. (Just come work in a bank to find out why! Because when you are continually exploited and has given even more than what you are expected to give as a back / middle office support staff, but you end up not getting what you felt you deserved, of course you will be disappointed and dissatisfied.)

– that a 42-year-old German man was so enraged by a foul during a boys’ soccer match that he invaded the pitch and felled the 8-year-old culprit with a karate kick, then jumped on him, police said. Other spectators, mostly parents of the children playing in the indoor match, piled in behind the angry spectator to restrain him and prevent any serious injuries to the boy. (The next time he should do this when Cristiano Ronaldo ‘dives’ to cheat for a penalty or a free kick.)

– that five months after denying ‘incorrect and hurtful’ reports of an imminent split, Russia’s richest man, billionaire Roman Abramovich, has confirmed his 16-year marriage to wife Irina is over. British newspapers, many of which ran the story on their front pages, said Irina Abramovich could get as much as half of her husband’s estimated $18.7 billion fortune and said it was the biggest divorce settlement in the world. the pair issued a statement saying Abramovich’s corporate interests – which include Britain’s Chelsea Chel-ski Football Club – would not however be affected. (Where to apply to be Irina Abramovich’s god son?)

– that these days, a millionaire in the U.S. is more likely to be the guy or gal next door who saved carefully – and perhaps benefited from the sharp run-up in housing prices – but still worries about covering the exploding costs of children’s educations, caring for aging parents and funding their own retirements. (When there are more millionaires, it’s not called wealth. It’s inflation.)

– that the most stupid thing you can say to an IT support guy is, “You IT you don’t know?” (So if you happened to work in Boeing, you better be sure you can pilot the Boeing F-15 too. Or else, be ready for the: “You Boeing you don’t know”)

– that the worse kind of users is the kind who expect you to correct their own mistakes, or carelessness. Even worse when they expect you to do so for something that is not even part of your responsibilities. For e.g. the user lost a phone and expects you to get it replaced, complete with sim card, immediately. (Not like SingTel’s or StarHub’s gonna give a damn because you were careless with your own items. The consequences of losing your own equipment should be borne by you, and you alone.)