By demand from a fan… even though I had intended to dump this whole lot and do a new one for the first week of June. Have left this hanging since the end of the Elections.

The World This Week

– that a U.S. judge sent Zacarias Moussaoui to America’s most grisly jail for the rest of his life, telling him he would die not with an Al-Qaeda martyr’s ‘big bang’ but a ‘whimper’. “Mr Moussaoui, you came here to be a martyr and die in a big bang of glory; but to paraphrase the poet T.S. Eliot, instead, you will die with a whimper,” Judge Leonie Brinkema told him. (He can always kill himself but he won’t be there to shout ‘America, you lose’ after he does that.)

– that as the flagship of the US intelligence community, the CIA faced the brunt of criticism for the failure to avert the Sept 11 attacks. A commission that investigated the attacks found ‘deep institutional failings’ and the need for greater coordination among the various intelligence agencies. (It is funny how 2 years laters, such ‘deep institutional failings’ were ignored as far as ‘intelligence’ – or the lack of it – regarding Iraq’s WMDs is concerned.)

– that Warmonger Bush insisted that the U.S. does not listen in on domestic telephone conversations among ordinary Americans. But he declined to specifically discuss the gover-min’s alleged compiling of phone records, or whether it would amount to an invasion of privacy. “We do not listen to domestic phone calls without court approval,” Warmonger said in an East Room news conference with Australian Prime Minister John Howard. “What I’ve told the American people is we’ll protect them against an al-Qaida attack. And we’ll do that within the law.” (It will require someone along the level of a Monkey Mentor to call Warmonger a liar. Bill Clinton will do just fine.)

– that Venezuela’s military is considering the possibility of selling its fleet of U.S.-made F-16 fighter jets to another country, perhaps Iran, in response to a U.S. ban on arms sales to Hugo Chavez’s gover-min, a Venezuelan military official said. (They should get the Iranians to sell them a couple of nukes too.)

– that Tony B-liar has raised expectations that he will quit within a year as his gover-min’s popularity plummeted and his heir apparent warned against a repeat of Margaret Thatcher’s ‘undignified’ exit. A poll in The Times newspaper found support for his Labour Party at just 30%, its lowest since 1992 when it was languishing in opposition. Some 65% of respondents said they expected Labour to lose the next parliamentary election, with the main opposition Conservatives enjoying a lead of eight points and the smaller Liberal Democrats on 20%. (They should make his exit such that Thatcher would be glad she left the way she did.)

– that U.S. investor Warren Buffett closed a deal to acquire the Galilee-based metalworks company Iscar for four billion dollars – giving the Israeli gover-min a tax windfall of around one billion dollars. (Can someone bug this guy’s email? Information extracted there will definitely make you rich. Filthy rich.)

– that the ‘Palestinian’ Hamas-led gover-min and the former ruling Fatah faction outlawed the carrying of arms, issuing a joint statement announcing the unprecedented measure. “Anyone who carries arms will be considered outside the law,” Fatah spokesman Ahmed Hilles told a joint press conference with prime minister Ismail Haniyeh, following an emergency meeting in Gaza City aimed at ending a spate of armed clashes between Fatah and Hamas terrorists. (So when Israel comes complaining that they are being attacked by gunmen, both Fatah and Hamas throws their arms into the air in feigned innocence and exclaimed, “But those are Hizbullah!”)

– that the Hamas-led gover-min welcomed moves by the Middle East quartet to resume aid to the ‘Palestinian’ Authority but slammed the attachment of conditions before the lifting of a political boycott. “The gover-min appreciates the efforts deployed by the international parties to alleviate the economic siege imposed on the ‘Palestinian’ people … but deeply regrets the quartet’s insistence on attaching pre-conditions to the ‘Palestinian’ gover-min,” spokesman Ghazi Hamad said. (If you will be so kind to deal with the situation leading to the need of those conditions, they would cease to exist on their own.)

Singapore This Week

– that WP chairman Sylvia Lim has been declared a NCMP. The announcement was made by General Election Returning Officer Tan Boon Huat and posted on the online edition of the Gover-min Gazette. The notice was also available via the website of the Elections Department, which offered the NCMP seat to the WP as its Aljunied GRC team was the highest scorer among defeated opposition candidates in the May 6 election. (Had the law been to offer it to the ‘best’ loser, Sitoh Yih Pin would fit that description. But again, the Tali-PAP will find it hard to swallow the term ‘loser’, and best loser is such an oxymoron.)

– that WP member James Gomez has been given a ‘stern warning’ for what police said yesterday was his use of threatening words towards a public serpent. A police statement said that after reviewing the evidence, the Public Prosecutor was satisfied that he committed the offence against a public serpent who was carrying out his duties. He could have been slapped with a fine not exceeding $5,000 or jailed for a period not exceeding a year. “However, having considered all the circumstances of the case, Mr Gomez’s willingness to cooperate with the police and the absence of any previous criminal record, the Public Prosecutor has decided that a stern warning be administered to Mr James Gomez for the offence,” the statement said. (Will this be the real -and final – end to this charade?)

– that it was after the complaint by the Elections Department, that police began their probe into offences of criminal intimidation, giving false information and using threatening words and behaviour. (If you are an opposition candidate running for MP, don’t be forgetful. And if you can’t help being forgetful, don’t get angry.)

– that Inderjit Sighn had said previously that on April 27 Mr Gomez told him that the minority certificate incident was just a ‘wayang’, or Malay for theatre – comments Mr Thiayagarajah also heard. The police said statements Mr Gomez gave ‘contained serious inconsistencies and discrepancies’. When taken with statements of others – including Mr Singh and Mr Thiayagarajah – it ‘put into question the real truth’. (There’s a lot of talk about this ‘wayang’ stuff. Among them something about the ‘wayang’ referring to a sleight of hand – the attempt of the WP to try and hide the true objective of the Sylvia Lim-Gomez team from the Tali-PAP.)

– that Gomez also said he had no plans to sue Lao Lee who called him dishonest, and a liar. (Lao Lee can exercise his right to form an opinion of certain people and he’s certainly entitled to it. At the same time, Gomez has a complete right to ignore the opinion and carry on with life without acting foolish.)

that Zainul Abidin of the Tali-PAP’s Aljunied GRC team said, “James Gomez could have cost us a few votes…Maybe the young misunderstood why the gover-min was pressing hard on the issue.” (Misunderstood? Or simply found nothing at all to understand?)

– that Steve Stiff Chia confirmed last night that he is quitting politics, after losing in the polls for the third time. He drew 39.6% of the valid vote against the Tali-PAP in the closely watched battle for Chua Chu Kang. Although this was an improvement of about 5% on his last showing in 2001, he told reporters: “Everybody (in opposition) did better than the last time across the board…so I think we should have the next better player to come on board.” (The die-hard base support for the opposition is a low 20%. You have just told the other 19.6% of the voters your hard work have convinced to vote for you to fly a kite, Stiff.)

that though Stiff was once praised by Lao Goh as a ‘sensible’ opposition candidate, he made headlines for all the wrong reasons recently, and this may have cost him. In 2003, he caused a brouhaha when he admitted to taking sexy photos of his maid and posing nude for the camera. Then, last month, he was fined $900 for running a red light and causing an accident. (Ever wondered why the yellow ribbon campaign is such a failure?)

– that Hougang resident Lim Chan Thor, a 40-year-old sales engineer, took four hours to drive down from Kuala Lumpur, where he was attending the Metal Asia conference, to cast his vote. Even so, he was at his polling station by 9am. He said: “The PAP has done a very good job over the years. I have seen Mr Eric Low out in the estate about two to three times, but I have never seen any Workers’ Party candidates making their rounds. I only read about them on the Internet.” Nevertheless, Mr Lim said he was satisfied with the facilities in Hougang, before rushing back to Kuala Lumpur for the conference. (Such a fine load of lackey crap. No one asked how often he’s in KL and how often he’s in Hougang?)

– that Baby Lee said he had identified four Tali-PAP newcomers as potential mini$ter$, and that they would be appointed mini$ter$ of state if elected. (Only 4 out of the whole lot? Is that all a ‘first world’ political party can come up with?)

– that Lao Lee commented on news that WP member James Gomez was let off with a stern warning in his run-in with the Elections Department. “It is in the Attorney-General’s authority to exercise his discretion, but his decision not to prosecute does not in any way make James Gomez less of a liar or less dishonest,” Ah Lao said in a statement issued in Beijing. “I reiterate what I have called him, a liar and dishonest, and that Ms Sylvia Lim and Mr Low Thia Khiang did not act honourably by shielding him. If Gomez claims he is not a liar nor dishonest he can go to court to clear his name.” (The charities will be quite disappointed. There is no greater affront to Lao Lee than just ignoring him completely as if he’s no longer relevant. Gomez must have been inspired by Badawi’s response – or the lack of it – to a wild barking mad dog call Mama-thir.)

– that in response to a writer criticisng her comment that ‘mini$ter$ would listen more carefully to a PAP MP accurately reflecting ground issues and suggesting practical solutions than to an opposition MP out to score political points [originally: * create trouble * ]’, Irene Ng said that this is not the issue. The issue is effectiveness in solving people’s problems and addressing their concerns. (It was simply implicit that oppositon MPs are ineffective.)

– that she argued that besides parliamentary sittings, Tali-PAP MPs form the gover-min parliamentary committees which scrutinise gover-min policies and which engage mini$ter$ on a continuous basis. Mini$ter$ also consult Tali-PAP MPs on policies during regular party-caucus meetings. Individually, we also raise the specific problems of our constituents with ministers, to ensure that the problems are looked into and addressed. My own experience has been a positive one. (Positive indeed, when in spite of all these, transport fares gone up in spite of the public outroar and feedback!)

– that she said, “As Tali-PAP MPs, we will continue to speak up boldly on behalf of our residents, address their needs and help refine gover-min policies so as to achieve a better life and a better future for all Singaporeans.” (Speak boldly! But when it comes for voting for the policies you spoke out against, vote for it anyway! * YAWN *)

– that Mabok Tongue’s goal was to do better than in 2001 and get a win ‘slightly above’ his party’s share of valid votes. They clinched 68.5 per cent of the valid votes, which is lower than the team’s 73.3% victory in the last election. But when compared to the Tali-PAP’s overall average of 66.6%, it was a triumph sweeter than at the last election, when the victory was below the 75.3% the PAP had polled. (It is amazing how they continue to delude themselves. But it’s Mabok we are talking about here! Good luck on HDB prices, everyone.)

– that Khaw Boon Wan’s team secured 76.7% cent of valid votes in Sembawang, trouncing its SDP opponents by a margin of 90,609 votes. (It probably won’t be long before we have to pay more for our medical fees.)

– that Khaw Boon Wan said, “My personal view is, our land is expensive. But we have nearby neighbours in Johore, Batam and Bintan. The elderly want to reach their doctors within half to one hour. So retirement villages in neighbouring countries is possible, barring the cross-border hassle. It is best to find cheap land on short leases.” (So what’s this supposed to mean? That it is alright for our young people to send their aged parents away? That Singapore is only for the strong and the fittest? Sound very much like some kind of concentration camp or old-men’s village [老人村] to me. I hope your son sends you to one when you are old, Khaw.)

– that the NWC advises prudence in giving out bigger pay rise. But workers can expect bigger pay packets this year, but the National Wages Council (NWC) wants employers to be mindful that the increase will not hurt their companies’ competitiveness. (This is something that has no effect for me. First of all, my departmental boss appraisal is no longer good enough for my promotion. Thus, to not turn it into an entirely futile and meaningless exercise, they now tie it to my bonus. In other words, if my boss doesn’t like me… what was it that the NWC was saying?)

– that SBS Transit had a surprising 12% increase in first quarter profit to $14.6 million. This was achieved on the back of a five% rise in revenue to $152 million, due mainly to higher bus and rail fare revenues following a fare hike in July. The improved bottom line comes despite a relentless surge in fuel prices. Does the above make you wonder whether the last fare hike in July was justified in the first place? (They are always justified, as long as voters maintain the Tali-PAP’s invulnerability by allowing them to win all GRCs and giving them more than 60% of the popular vote in every General Election. And it was 75.2% then, so what do you expect?!)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that Wayne Rooney’s World Cup dreams could be over. The Manchester United ManUre striker suffered a fractured metatarsal in his right foot during a crunch Premier League match against Chelsea. The 20-year-old had been tipped by the likes of Pele and Maradona to be a big hit for England at the World Cup, which kicks off in Germany on June 9. The injury is expected to rule him out for at least six weeks. (Any day that ManUre loses a match, is a good day. And any day that their top strikers are out, makes my day!)

– that For US$8, you can download the Lost Mobile Tracking Solution from www.microtechnologies.net to your phone. The company supports a raft of advanced Nokia phones, as well as two from Samsung and two from Panasonic, according to its website. If the phone is stolen, the thief, or the unsuspecting new owner, will probably insert a new Subscriber Identity Module, or SIM card. That switch will prompt the software to send you e-mail and text messages telling you the thief’s new number and approximate location. (Sounds like a good idea. Only problem, you can’t do shit about it when it ends up overseas. Would be better if there’s a little proggie that wipes the entire ROM in the phone so it becomes entirely un-usable, or have it explode in their faces to teach them the lesson of their lives.)

– that Indian Christians opposed to the film have won support from an umbrella organization of Islamic clerics in Bombay who labeled the film ‘blasphemous’ because it spreads ‘lies’ about Jesus Christ. “Muslims in India will help their Christian brothers protest this attack on our common religious belief,” Maulana Mansoor Ali Khan, general secretary of the All-India Sunni Jamiyat-ul-Ulema, told Reuters news agency. (Probably no movie has created more controvesy than the Da Vinci Code story.. which had actually gone forth to temporarily unite 2 branches of the Abrahamic faith.)

– that the Da Vinci Code is once again one of the most talked about book / movie. Some Christians simply can’t give up trying to weigh in and say their own piece. (It’s just plain funny. Say, if you have $1000 in your wallet and you know for sure all of that $1000 is good. Now someone comes around and say, well, there isn’t $1000 in your wallet because some of the notes are fake, and actually wrote a whole book about it. So you took out your $1000 and someone who has read the book snatches the money over and start using the points in the book to tell you which of those notes of your $1000 are fakes until you also do not believe that the $1000 is real. Why even bother, actually? Just believe your $1000 and spend it! If in the end that $1000 is fake, you still get to enjoy $1000 worth of stuff anyway. But consider this, what happens if that $1000 is real and you threw it all away because you actually believe it isn’t?)

– that it is interesting to listen to some of the clowns calling to ‘The Morning Express’ and try to outdo one another with their outrageous answers on ‘What they would give to lose weight’. (Either they are plain stupid or just trying to be funny. Giving their sense of smell or an ear to lose some weight is outrageous but utterly brainless. I’ll just give half my stomach away. It’s more practical even when compared to giving away a kidney.)

A friend of mine once mentioned that the Stooge Times Forum page is one section he never reads and wondered why I get all worked up when I read the rubbish coming from it. I really don’t know why but perhaps, I am a sucker for ’emotional pain’?

Here’s another ‘fine’ example of such another piece of rubbish that got me worked up.

I quote: “What is unfair and inequitable, even within each town council, is that the surplus money which is used to fund the so-called free lift upgrading for a few blocks at a time is contributed by all the households under the town council.”

Very funny, because I don’t see Bin looking at it from a grander level, and see his alleged ‘unfairness’ occuring on a national level when the Tali-PAP takes money to fund upgrading for a few districts at all time – not to mention expecting residents to co-pay a small amount – with surplus money contributed by all Singaporeans – one way or another – to the nation.

And going by his logic, then how is it also fair, that Polytechnic students do not get their fare concession, when the transport companies (or was it LTA), consistently argue that the concessions are paid by all other full fare paying passengers? Are full fare paying passengers thus overpaying, because only certain students of a particular age group are given fare concession?

Before the gover-min should even ‘review the collection of S&C charges and their use for selective upgrading, to see how past unfairness and inequity could be remedied’, it should jolly well first review how it spends the state’s revenue to further the ruling party’s very own political agenda!

No wonder Taiwanese legislative councillor Lee Ao thinks that Singaporeans are stupid, and of a bad breed! Does anyone see a reason he would have considered otherwise when reading some of these exceeding dumb letters?!

This is a really short and much belated version of the TGIF for the last 2 weeks. I have been lazy to write and also to follow some of the news on the local papers. As you know, I do not have a very high esteem of the local media. So if you are disappointed I didn’t really comment much on the current events, especially the local elections, I am sorry.

The World This Week

– that Warmonger Bush’s public approval rating has fallen to 32%, a new low for his presidency, a CNN poll showed. The survey also showed that 60% of Americans disapprove of the way Bush is handling his job. (Warmonger can take comfort that Chen Shui-bian’s public approval rating is even lower.)

– that several Supreme Court justices grilled state and U.S. gover-min lawyers about whether lethal injections as currently administered for executions caused excruciating pain. (Then administer them sleeping pills before administering the lethal injection.)

– that Australia’s most wanted terror suspect, Saleh Jamal, has pledged loyalty to Osama bin Laden and threatened to ‘chop up’ John Howard as Lebanese authorities prepare to deport him as early as May 8. Jamal’s firebrand comments come before his imminent rearrest by Australian police, who will use one of six arrest warrants prepared during his two years in a Beirut prison for firearms trafficking and entering Lebanon on a false passport. (They should just deport him to the moon… without space suits.)

– that oil companies have told motorists to blame Americans, Nigerians and Iranians for record petrol prices in most parts of Australia. Pump prices raced to an all-time high of A$1.45 a litre, with more price rises possible in coming days. (Phew… for once, no one was blaming China.)

– that Mahmoud Abbas, the ‘Palestinian’ president, raised the possibility of dismissing the Hamas-led gover-min if he decides that its policies harm the ‘Palestinians’. “The constitution gives me clear and definite authority to remove a gover-min from power, but I don’t want to use this authority,” he said. “Everyone should know that by law this power is in my hands.” (Maybe it would be Hamas that removes him from power.)

– that American troops will probably be gone from Iraq by mid-2008 as the Iraqi forces they are training take over from them, Iraq’s National Security Adviser Mowaffak al-Rubaie said. He said he expected the roughly 133,000 U.S. troops to be cut to less than 100,000 by year’s end and an ‘overwhelming majority’ of them to have left by the end of 2007 under a U.S.-Iraqi plan for progressively handing over security. “We have a roadmap, a condition-based agreement where, by the end of this year, the number of coalition forces will probably be less than 100,000,” he told Reuters in an interview. (Very optimistic. The only certainty about Iraq right now is not whether the situation will get better or worse, but that there will still be an Iraq tomorrow.)

– that Iran has vowed to strike at U.S. interests worldwide if it is attacked by the U.S., which is keeping military options open in case diplomacy fails to curb Tehran’s nuclear program. Supreme Lea-duh Ayatollah Ali Khamenei made the threat before the UN nuclear watchdog reports on whether Iran is meeting Security Council demands to halt uranium enrichment. (It would take the resolve of the Allies in World War II to go in and clean out this nest of vipers.)

Singapore This Week

– that ‘several PAP veterans face first contest at the ballot box’. (What an oxymoron! What veteran are you talking about when this is their first real contest?)

– that referring to the likes of former National Development Mini$ter Tay Cheang Wan, and MP Phey Yew Kok, Chiam See Tong said: “These people are carefully selected by the PAP and yet they turn out to be crooks and lost public money. How can they criticise the Opposition when they cannot select good candidates?” (Chiam doesn’t know ‘criticising’ is a Tali-PAP priviledge meh? ‘Bway song’ – not happy – sue them lah!)

– that the opposition has come under attack for not having original ideas on how it plans to be an alternative voice in Singapore. MP Amy Khor, who has been returned unopposed in Hong Kah GRC on Nomination Day, questioned the substance of their plans at a Tali-PAP rally in Chua Chu Kang. Ms Khor said, “The opposition’s only battle cry so far is that there must be an alternative voice, and check and balance. But let me ask you, what good is an alternative voice if it is recycled ideas and mere talk? The opposition’s voice is a recycled battle cry at every election.” (Well, you so smart so good then you why you join Tali-PAP? Come and run an opposition and show them how to do it lah!)

– that Lao Lee has outlined what he feels are the key qualities of a first world opposition. He says the opposition candidates must have character, commitment, ability and a good track record – just like the candidates in the Tali-PAP. (Eh? So after so many years, now it isn’t just about paper-qualifications anymore? And my friend, a first class voter, Pig-Pig says, “Aiyah, WP cannot be First World Opposition lah. They all LOW-class Opposition. * Pun intended *)

– that SDP chairman Ling How Doong, who is contesting Bukit Panjang, was conspicuously absent when the party introduced its six candidates for Sembawang GRC at a press conference. Earlier, he had separately raised the possibility of getting Typo Chee Soon Juan removed from the party’s central executive committee. Accompanied by SDP assistant secretary-general Wong Hong Toy at the Fajar Secondary School Nomination Centre, Mr Ling told the media that he and Mr Wong are considering an ouster of typo Chee. (It maybe too little too late. The day you jokers ousted Chiam, the day you have sealed the fate of your party.)

– that at a midday rally, Baby Lee said, “Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I’m going to spend all my time thinking what’s the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week’s problem and forget about next year’s challenges?” (With the kind of pay you get, the voters ought to make your life interesting with more opposition, Baby! And if your father once handled 13, you can surely handle 26! And by the way, I am always ready to sell my vote. Tali-PAP give five million I will vote for them… by leaving Singapore so I can’t vote for the opposition.)

– that a day later, his Press Secretary had to issue a ‘clarification’: “At the lunchtime rally in UOB Plaza, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong addressed the issue of opposition MPs in Parliament. He said that if the opposition were to hold 10 to 20 seats in Parliament, he would have to spend much more time thinking what was the right way to ‘fix’ them. What PM meant by his remark was that if there were many more opposition MPs in Parliament, the government and opposition would spend all their time and energies countering each other, and Singapore would be worse off for it. He used direct language to get this important point across to a mass rally crowd. If the exact words he used offended, he is sorry. (Just accept that, ok? Say more you kenna libel suit not my business.)

– that the ‘liar’ word was used by both Lao Lee and Wong Wua Kan Seng. “I say Mr Gomez is a liar and he’s dishonest and if he thinks it’s libel, he can sue Mr Wong Kan Seng, he can sue me,” thundered Lee. (** Danger! Warning! ** “I have now called you a liar. And if you deny, I am a liar and you have defamed me. So I sue you.”)

– that Baby Lee said this, when he was referring to the large turnouts at some opposition rallies, especially those of the WP, over the past eight days. “The opposition flies a kite, see if it catches the wind. Doesn’t? Well, let it go, fly another one. Doesn’t? Fly another one. Finally, if it doesn’t fly or there is no wind, then they give up flying kites and play another game – marbles or something like that. So it’s exciting to listen to, because you never know what new kite would pop up.” (I’ll prefer to go fly a kite and ‘pah gorli’ – play marbles – then listen to nothing but self praises, ‘warnings’ about bad opposition candidates, criticisms against the opponents and all that nonsense about flat ‘upgrades’. But of course, the kites fly high in Potong Pasir and Hougang. It almost took flight in Aljunied and it won’t be a surprise Aljunied becomes a historical term along with Cheng San and Eunos in the next election.)

– that Lao Goh warned voters that there would be consequences if they voted for the opposition and knocked out key members of the Tali-PAP team. He pointed out that if a Tali-PAP GRC team lost at the polls, it would mean the loss of at least one minister and two or three other office-holders. He was speaking at a press conference in Potong Pasir, which he visited last night to show his support for PAP candidate Sitoh Yih Pin on the last day of campaigning. (You have got so many capable people. One lost, just promote another, right? It’s not like the Tali-PAP has actually got a talent dearth, when it continually PERSUADE ‘talented people’ to join them in politics! Get this right, ok, these people has to be PERSUADED to come into politics. Does that mean they never thought about it in the beginning? Contrast that with some of the opposition, Goh Meng Seng, for example, who has all along attempted to engage people in dialouge before joining the WP, and needed no persuasion.)

– that Lao Goh said he is confident that the Tali-PAP will win in Potong Pasir. (Oh well, even if Chiam lost, he didn’t lose to a ‘better’ candidate. He lost to money. And what does that tells us? If you can screw someone for money money, go ahead and do it. Fortunately, the voters in Hougang and Potong Pasir are made of sterner stuff.)

– that Tali-PAP’s Irene Ng maintained she had made a general point that mini$ter$ will listen to Tali-PAP MPs more when they criticise gover-min policies, over their opposition colleagues. (Tali-PAP MP criticisms are meaningless when they vote for policies they criticised all the same. They would have to make sure they don’t use words like ‘betrayal’ too.)

– that the Tali-PAP lea-duhs have called on the WP lea-duhs to withdraw Gomez as a candidate. Not succeeding in this, the Tali-PAP has begun to accuse the Low Thia Khiang, the WP’s chief, of keeping people of suspect integrity in his camp. (Let me translate that into maid lingo for you, “You not good boy! Play with bad boy no listen to what pappy says!”)

– that Yeo Cheow Tong Lam Cheow Kong attacked SDA candidate Steve Chia for demanding a guarantee that bus and train fares will not go up after the GE. Keeping transport cost down is difficult when other prices are going up, such as wages, materials and oil. (Really? How is it that they still have record profits?)

– that to demonstrate that fares remain affordable, Lam pointed out in 1987, a bus commuter travelling an average of 8km would spend about 90 cents for bus fare. For the same journey today, he would spend $1.05, which means bus fares had climbed only about 15 cents in about 20 years. This works out to a 17% rise against an almost 180% jump in workers’ salaries in the same period, Lam said. (Look, no one is saying it isn’t affordable. But that does not answer the question: WHY? when the transport companies are still having record profits! It’s so typical of Tali-PAP mini$ter$. They either have terrible comprehension skill, or they really don’t listen to you. Or perhaps, to be a million dollar mini$ter, you must have a penchant for misunderstanding the question and answering out of the point by regurgitating standard answers.)

– that on a walkabout in Woodlands, Mr Khaw met a disgruntled 70 year-old resident who had much to gripe about and a 20-minute exchange followed. The man, who goes to polyclinic doctors, could not see why the policy does not extend to bills below $30. Khaw explained that the gover-min is heavily subsidising fees in polyclinics, particularly for the elderly. “That’s why it’s $30. If there’s no subsidy, then most likely it’s $60, $80, $100. Not all Singaporeans go to polyclinics, about 20% do. For the 80% of people who do not go to polyclinics, who go to GPs, private hospitals, they will benefit from this new scheme that I’m proposing.” (Listen carefully, Khaw. The 70-year-old resident said, “Let me have the opportunity to make use more of my Medisave.” In other words the man didn’t care if it was $60, $80, or $100. He just want to be able to use his Medisave to pay it!)

– that when asked to give a breakdown of the cost of building a HDB flat, Mabok Tongue replied, “You want to build some for me?” (Well, you don’t answer a question with another question, Mabok. Just give us the breakdown!)

– that if the Tali-PAP is really serious about retaking Potong Pasir, they should send Mabok Tongue to retake Potong Pasir. (Who else better to explain this blasted upgrading policy to the people of Potong Pasir and convinced them that the Tali-PAP is really serious?)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that Lao Goh said Chiam See Tong is too old and should retire. (According to some friends, Chiam allegedly reply, “After you, Goh!”. – pun intended.)

– that Scott McNealy, the often acerbic co-founder of Sun Microsystems Inc. and one of Microsoft Corp.’s harshest critics, stepped down as CEO after 22 years as the pioneering maker of computer servers reported its latest quarterly loss. Sun’s shares surged more than 8% after the announcement of McNealy’s departure and the latest in a series of losses. In extended-session trading, Sun’s shares gained 41 cents, or 8.2%. (That really shows just how ‘popular’ this CEO is with investors.)

– that software prices could fall as companies develop subscription sales and distribute increasingly complex programs that run in Web browsers, Micro$oft CEO Steve Ballmer said. (Sounds like a blackmail. – i.e. no subscription sale, no cheaper software.)

– that shares of Micro$oft Corp. tumbled 11%, after the world’s largest software maker reported third-quarter profit that missed Wall Street expectations and lowered its earnings guidance. The tempered forecast which comes as Micro$oft boosts research and development spending left some analysts grappling with whether that decision will translate to higher profit. (Right. As if they are really concerned with how any company is doing when they wrote about Google’s is pure hot air?)

– that while America may still think of itself as the land of opportunity, the chances of living a rags-to-riches life are a lot lower than elsewhere in the world, according to a new study published. The likelihood that a child born into a poor family will make it into the top 5% is just 1%, according to ‘Understanding Mobility in America’, a study by economist Tom Hertz from American University. By contrast, a child born rich had a 22% chance of being rich as an adult, he said. (The rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Nothing will change this.)

– that bra producers have been forced to offer bigger cup-sizes in China because improved nutrition is busting all previous chest measurement records. Hong Kong-based lingerie firm Embry Group no longer produces A-cups for larger chest circumferences and has increased production of C, D and E-cup bras to meet pressing demand. The Beijing Institute of Clothing Technology said the average chest circumference of Chinese women has risen by nearly 1cm since the early 1990s. (Now that’s really ‘good news’ for the men.)

This ‘debate’ has certainly gone on for quite awhile. Started off as some guy saying that he can’t read Micro$oft documents on his Linux PC or something like that. It has since go on and on with apparently no end in sight at this point of time. Here’s an example of the letters:

Personally speaking, the reason why MINDEF uses Open Office, probably has got the least to do with TCO – Total Cost of Ownership – but more to do with security. For e.g. There have been articles circulated on the Internet regarding certain features in Micro$oft WORD, which can compromise security.

I am amazed how some idiots would go on and on with this matter because if you check up on Open Format on Wikipedia, they would have realised that PDF (i.e. the Adobe Acrobat Reader format) is also one of the Open Formats, and the Acrobat Reader is free, just like many software allowing the reading of PDF files. Furthermore, there are free software for converting documents into PDF, if one does not want to buy the Adobe Acrobat Distiller software.

In other words, all these ‘debates’ about the use of Open Source is missing the point because all the gover-min needs to do – to ensure that the original person who complained about not being able to read the documents available – is to provide them in PDF format.

I am trying to imagine how all these un-necessary debate will go on to solve the actual problem. * sigh *

The Natural Selection Award

– that a junior college student committed suicide because he felt his private parts were too small. The boy, who cannot be named, had cited his perceived sexual inadequacies as the reason for killing himself in a suicide note addressed to his girlfriend and family. But according to investigation reports, the second-year JC student had a history of depression stemming from stress relating to his studies. His mother has also taken him to see another doctor after he confided in her his anxiety over the size of his penis. (Has he been watching too much porn? I can’t imagine someone going around to compare with others the length of his organ.)

The World This Week

– that the CIA had evidence Iraq possessed no WMD six months before the 2003 U.S.-led invasion but was ignored by a White House intent on ousting Saddam Hussein, a former senior CIA official said according to CBS. (That’s a nice way of saying they ‘fabricated’ evidence that Saddam had them.)

– that the official reception for Hu Jintao on the lawn of the White House turned into an fiasco. First, the US master of ceremonies pompously announced the playing of the national anthem of the ‘Republic of China’. And then came the screaming from a Falungong Far Long Gone supporter, who was so well-positioned in the media enclosure that the U.S. security services needed a full five minutes before she was fully silenced. (Use backside to think also will know all that is staged as an intended slight and insult.)

– that Warmonger Bush was shown on television grabbing Hu Jintao by his jacket when the Chinese president tried to leave the podium before the close of the welcoming ceremonies. (Hu isn’t a kid, Warmonger. And fortunately for Warmonger, that was Hu. I would have just turn around and punched anyone who pulled my sleeve.)

– that the Queen’s cousin, the Hon Margaret Rhodes, has told the BBC she is ‘perfectly sure’ the monarch will never retire or abdicate the throne. (The Queen might even outlast Prince Charles. Long Live the Queen!)

– that the German gover-min announced the controversial decision to agree to opening up the massive archive, which document the Nazis persecution of the Jewish people and millions of others and is housed in the town of Bad Arolson, to wider family members as well as historians, academics and members of the public. For the first time, documents relating to the transportation and extermination of millions of victims of the Nazi regime will be made available to the wider world. It was formerly inaccessible to all but those victims who survived and their children. (Some of that should be made available to the ruffian President in Iran named Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.)

– that as the Vatican launched a 500th anniversary celebration of St Peter’s, the prelate in charge of the upkeep of Christianity’s largest church was considering how to save it for another half-millennium. An army of Vatican workers, known as sanpietrini (little St Peters), works full time trying to repair the damage and remove the stains left by inconsiderate visitors. “People have no idea how much time and energy is wasted removing chewing gum,” Cardinal Francesco Marchisano told a news conference to launch a year-long series of events. (Now you’ll see Singapore’s wisdom in banning chewing gum. The Vatican may want to consider doing the same.)

– that food aid donated to drought-hit Eritrea may be rotting in warehouses, diplomats and aid officials have warned. President Isaias Afewerki insists Eritrea is self-reliant. He has put restrictions on handouts and last month expelled at least three aid agencies. Last September, the number of people receiving free food was cut by 94% to 72,000 out of a population of 3.6m. After a bad harvest, it was estimated in 2005 that at least one in three Eritreans needed food aid. Some 11 million people are in urgent need of help in the region after late rains affected most of East Africa. (It is time they remove this President and make him ‘self reliant’.)

– that Russia said it wanted no action against Iran before an April 28 U.N. deadline set for it to halt uranium enrichment, but a top U.S. official said other countries were inching toward sanctions. (Russia would perhaps change its mind when it finds evidence linking Iran to the rebels in Chechen.)

– that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said during an armed forces parade that any aggressor would regret attacking Iran, which is embroiled in a nuclear dispute with the West. The president declared Iran a nuclear power after he said it had successfully enriched uranium to the level used in power stations. Iran insists its program is civilian despite accusations by the West that it wants atomic bombs. (Wanna guess why no one would believe you, Iran?)

– that in the face of mounting opposition to its nuclear programme, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threatened to ‘cut the hand of any aggressor’. “Iran has created a powerful army that can powerfully defend the political borders and the integrity of the Iranian nation and cut the hand of any aggressor and place the sign of disgrace on their forehead.” (If the army couldn’t pull it off, there’s always more terror bombers.)

– that in remarks that have unsettled world oil markets, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said that crude oil prices – now at record highs – are still below their true value. State-run Teheran radio quoted him as saying: “The global oil price has not reached its real value yet. The products derived from crude oil are sold at prices dozens of times higher than those charged by oil producing countries.” (Sure. If you think it’s still too cheap, you can pay to buy me a couple of million barrels. I’ll let you know where to deliver it.)

– that Hamas denied accusations by Jordan that the terrorist group had stored weapons on its territory and said it regretted Amman’s cancellation of a visit by the ‘Palestinian’ foreign minister. “Hamas rejects and condemns the provocative accusations by the Jordanian authorities,” the group said in a statement. (Jordan has far more credibility than Hamas, anytime.)

– that in a provocative move, the new Hamas-appointed ‘Palestinian’ gover-min has announced the creation of a new security force to be made up of terrorists who had taken part in attacks against Israel. A well-known militant, Jamal Abu Samhadana, who heads an umbrella group known as the Popular Resistance Committees, has been named to the new post of director-general of the Interior Ministry. (They sure have a way to name their ‘in-security force’, which sole purpose is make it more insecure for the Israelis.)

– that Nepal’s King Gyanendra may cede absolute power after tens of thousands of anti-monarchy activists poured into the streets of suburban Kathmandu, defying a curfew and shoot-on-sight orders. (Better to be Constitutional monarch than no monarch at all.)

– that South Korea has warned it will capture ships if Japan goes ahead with its plan to survey disputed waters claimed by both nations. Seoul claims the proposed survey area includes a section of its exclusive economic zone, and that Tokyo should have asked South Korea for permission to conduct a survey there. Japan, however, claims the survey area falls within its zone. (Capture and sink them. Yes.)

– that the Chinese authorities say they are putting up a huge statue of Chairman Mao Zedong in Tibet. The 35-ton memorial is being built to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the former lea-duh’s death. It is being erected in Gonggar County, near the Tibetan capital Lhasa, China’s state-run news agency Xinhua said. (Nuts. A statue is good for nothing other than for birds to poo on it. For that purpose, a Mao statue will do just fine.)

– that Hu’s rise to power was positively meteoric. He was noticed by paramount lea-duh Deng Xiaoping in 1988. Deng was watching a video of the put-down of a popular uprising in Tibet, and asked about the young man giving orders to soldiers. Shortly after, Deng reportedly said, “Hu is good.” (So there’s a ruthless side behind that scholarly look of Hu that we do not know of.)

– that Hu was close to beloved lea-duh Hu Yaobang, whose death in April 1989 helped spark the protest that ended with the deaths of hundreds of young democracy idealists starting on the evening of June 3, and leaving a scar on the nation. And during the earlier student protests of 1986, Hu Yaobang was purged for being too mild. Senior lea-duh Wang Zhen advised breaking up the protests with flamethrowers. Hu Jintao was forced to denounce the elder Hu – or be cast out himself. (Flamethrowers?! I’ll be glad to turn one on this sicko Wang Zhen himself.)

– that Mama-thir Mohamad continued criticising the gover-min’s decision to scrap plans for a bridge to replace the Causeway, saying Singapore had no objections to the plan four years ago. Referring to a letter dated 2002, he said: “In a letter by Goh Chok Tong to me, he said if we wanted to build a bridge on our side, he would respect it even if it was not ideal to him. No conditions were imposed. He said if the bridge is built, they will remove the Causeway,” he told reporters. (Hey Mama, why aren’t you eating the same lunch you ate four days ago? If things are no longer as it stands four years ago, isn’t it bl**dy obvious?)

– that Mama-thir Mohamad has launched his harshest attack yet on his successor, slamming the Malaysian gover-min for selling out to Singapore by scrapping plans to replace the Causeway with a bridge. Speaking on the subject for the third time in a week since Kuala Lumpur decided to shelve the project, he said he could not stay silent if ‘somebody wants to sell Malaysia to other people’. (Perhaps it’s time Mama-thir have a feel of the sting of the ISA, just like Anwar did.)

– that it is no secret that Mama-thir has been peeved by what he sees as a dismantling of his legacy, for instance, with the national car Proton losing its special status. However, he had previously refrained from an open attack on Abdullah Badawi, his handpicked successor, though often criticising him in private. (Do you now regret not making yourself SM, Mama-thir?)

– that dUMNO Youth backs the gover-min’s decision to scrap plans for a bridge to replace the Causeway, says Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein, adding that lea-duhs would explain the rationale for the move to the grassroots. Without referring to criticism by former premier Mama-thir Mohamad for holding negotiations with Singapore on building a straight bridge, the Umno Youth chief said, “All agreed a straight bridge was the ideal situation. Even if we had only 1% chance of a straight bridge, it was sensible for the gover-min to negotiate this long. But Singapore’s self-interest and calculative nature caused negotiations to fail. This, however, does not mean the gover-min’s decision to negotiate was wrong.” (Singapore was surely trying to negotiate. Unfortunately, Mama-thir was more like dictating to us our surrender terms.)

– that charges by Mama-thir that the Abdullah Badawi administration had failed to heed the views of the Malaysian people when it scrapped plans for a crooked bridge to Singapore have drawn a response from two key former ministers in his Cabinet. They pointed out that there was hardly any tolerance of dissent when Mama-thir was prime minister. The sharpest comments came from Anwar Ibrahim, but it was the views of Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah that grabbed attention, for he rarely offers comments. (It’s time for those whom Mama-thir has crossed years before to settle the score.)

– that the Malacca gover-min suggested constructing a 60km bridge linking the state to Dumai in Indonesia’s Sumatra, following the cancellation of plans to build a new bridge to replace the Causeway. Malacca Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam added that the bridge – across the Malacca Strait – was estimated to cost between RM1 billion and RM2 billion. This would be similar to the cost of building the proposed bridge to replace the 1km Causeway linking Johor to Singapore. (And no one asked why a bridge almost 60 times longer is costing the same? Someone ought to ask Mama-thir that.)

– that Malaysia has told its local gover-mins to back off from playing moral police to its people. Holding hands and hugging in public should not be crimes, and local officials should not be enforcers of morals, according to a set of guidelines on public decency drawn up by the federal gover-min. But the guidelines also make plain that nudity, stripping and sexual acts in public are unacceptable. Significantly, the guide is silent on kissing in public, which sparked the controversy in the first place. (So, Malaysia Boleh, or tak boleh?)

– that the draft gover-min guidelines come in the wake of public controversy after a Chinese couple were charged in a municipal court with indecent behaviour for hugging and kissing in a park. This sparked a major debate over public decency following a ruling by the nation’s highest court that the municipal court was entitled to charge the couple for public indecency. But one of the judges also suggested that hugging and kissing in public was not acceptable in Malaysia. Such a suggestion has raised fears, especially among non-Muslims, that local councils are being used to enforce Islamic-influenced morality codes. (If I hug my girlfriend and kiss her in public, and you get aroused and start having immoral thoughts, go see a psychiatrist and stop blaming me for your problems, assh*le.)

Singapore This Week

– that Baby Lee slammed the opposition’s secrecy over their plans, and refusal to confirm their full slate of candidates sooner and said it showed how casually they took voters. (You tell them to do what they do what then they where got face? Ehlo!! Wake up!!)

– that the SDP has rejected an offer by Khaw Boon Wan to call for a Commission of Inquiry to look into his ministry’s handling of the NKF issue, if there is a need for one. In a statement, Typo Chee said he had merely asked a couple of ‘simple questions’ over the responses made by Khaw and Lim Hng Gey Khiang in Parliament on the issue, and a Commission of Inquiry is not needed for this. (Why? Afraid that on appearing before the commission you will be found a fool again, on closer examination of your outrageous allegations?)

– that Khaw Boon Wan challenged the SDP to call for a commission of inquiry if it believed the gover-min botched the handling of the NKF scandal. If Typo Chee had proof of a gover-min cover-up, Mr Khaw said he would ask Baby Lee to open an inquiry and include opposition MPs Low Thia Khiang and Chiam See Tong in the panel. (Come on, Typo. Here’s your big chance if you have evidence. It is just unlikely you have any.)

– that the SDP says the charging of TT Durai will not be the end of the NKF story. The SDP says the Ministers for Health and Finance have a lot to answer for, as they had still endorsed the NKF despite whatever was going on. (What is there for them to answer for? They don’t run NKF.)

– that Typo Chee had toured Bukit Panjang constituency without its chairman Ling How Doong, who will be contesting in the single-seat ward in the coming election. Mr Ling, however, went on his own three-hour walkabout in Bukit Panjang with assistant secretary-general Wong Hong Toy and four other party members The former one-term MP for Bukit Gombak had recently spoken out against Dr Chee’s focus on foreign issues in recent years, as well as the prominence of his aide, Mr Yap Keng Ho, who is not an SDP member. Mr Ling admitted yesterday that he spoke ‘rarely’ to Dr Chee, the last time being ‘about two weeks ago’. Yet, the SDP chairman maintained that there was no split in his party. (Admit it, dude. And perhaps do the same treacherous shit to Chee the same way he did to Chiam. Better the bungling fool Ling then the gangster Chee leading the SDP.)

– that lawyers acting for the Baby Lee and Lao Lee issued letters of demand to the SDP for alleging that PAP Tali-PAP lea-duhs knew about the problems at the NKF, but deliberately covered them up. (A bankrupt has got nothing more to lose in continuing with these baseless accusations. Common sense will tell you that the gover-min won’t know there’s a problem if the auditors did not find any.)

– that the alleged defamation was contained in articles, in English and Chinese, in the latest issue of the party’s newsletter, The New Democrat. Among the allegations: Baby Lee was corrupt and was perpetuating a corrupt political system, set up by Lao Lee, for the benefit of the political elite in Singapore. The articles also suggested that Baby Lee was aware of corruption at the HDB, CPF Board and the GIC, but had condoned it. The two PAP lea-duhs made use of defamation suits to suppress allegations and cover up these wrong-doings, and not to protect their reputations, the articles were also said to have alleged. (There’s a term for this Typo Chee garbage. It’s called political suicide bombing – does himself no good at all, and hurts everyone it targets.)

– that in drawing parallels between the NKF scandal and the way Singapore is run, the SDP article, titled ‘If you think the running of NKF was bad, read this…’, said that GIC, set up and chaired by Lao Lee, was not accountable to Parliament in the way it invested the national reserves and ‘operates in secrecy’. (It would be fun to see Typo Chee account for his expenses too. Such as where he gets the money to fly to and stay in Australia most of the time.)

– that noting that the NKF had been run in an autocratic manner, with power concentrated in the hands of Durai, the article added: ‘Is not power in Singapore concentrated around one party, if not one individual? With the PAP monopolising power and making sure that no one has the means to challenge that hold on power (by banning protests, introducing GRCs, suing political opponents, making legitimate democratic actions criminal offences, etc) are we not witnessing the NKF but on a larger and national scale?’ (Get out of politics and be a fiction writer, Typo. The ‘Typo Chee Code’ would be a good name for your book.)

– that the SDA has suggested a possible change in constitution to allow for nominated ministerial positions. This is so that residents, especially those in Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC, do not have to be afraid that a minister and PAP MPs are not returned to power. At Pasir Ris MRT station, about five SDA members were distributing the party’s brochures to residents. The SDA is sending a team to contest the PAP’s group, led by Teo Chee Hean. (You need better ideas than that to win votes, dudes.)

– that SDA Assistant Secretary-General Desmond Lim said, “If the gover-min could not afford to lose one good minister, there is a system called Nominated MP system. Make full use of the system to appoint the loser from the PAP side to be a nominated MP. We would propose to change the constitution to create a nominated ministerial position. For example, Pasir Ris-Punggol residents – they should not be afraid to lose a good minister and their five MPs because the system will arrest their concern.” (Why would someone want to give up something which even you say is good just to let you in?)

– that Lim Gey Khiang said the opposition might raise the casino issue during the upcoming General Election. But he said the gover-min had already explained the issue and had implemented safeguards. “Singaporeans understand the safeguards that we’ve put in place. Some of these safeguards are very new and very unique because of our position. The bidders for the integrated resort projects understand our concerns and they’ve been working very hard to make sure the safeguards are met. Some have even proposed safeguards beyond what we have required them to do.” (Bring a lion to the people and hope that lion does not kill the people and yet serve as an attraction by putting it in a cage might simply end up killing the lion.)

– that the WP has defined this general election as a referendum on the future of opposition politics in Singapore. In an impassioned call to voters, Low Thia Khiang said that Singaporeans must decide if they want to give the Tali-PAP a ‘blank cheque’ or if they wanted an opposition to check and balance a Tali-PAP gover-min. If they believe in a strong opposition, they should signal this clearly at the ballot box – or politicians like himself would have to question their relevance to the political system here. “Do Singaporeans need an opposition, do they want an opposition? And if they do not want, then what am I doing here?” he said when introducing the WP’s first three candidates. (Low and Chiam should be given full marks for persistence. Let’s hope this won’t be a last hurrah before they go in a blaze of glory.)

– that upgrading to provide amenities and improve facilities for residents is an ongoing task and is not part of a strategy used in constituencies at election time, George Yeo said. It was his message to residents at the opening of a new market and hawker centre in Bedok Reservoir Road. (Still, no vote Tali-PAP, no upgrading. Geddit?)

– that some viewers feel strongly that it was rude and unacceptable to ask Lao Lee if he should step down, considering all he has done and continues to do for the country. (IMO, Lao Lee will still be gone one day. Thus, getting use to him having lesser and lesser presence, while seeing Singapore still in good hands, is better than getting shocked by the news of the great man being gone suddenly and getting worried about whether there will still be a tomorrow. But if Lao Lee wants to stay on as long as his strength permits him, then let him. He knows what he is doing more than anyone of us.)

– that GRCs unlikely to be contested are Bishan-Toa Payoh, Holland-Bukit Timah, Hong Kah, Jurong, Marine Parade, Tanjong Pagar and West Coast. (The opposition apparently has got no interest in voters living in the western side of Singapore. They have abandoned us and deprived us of our right to exercise our vote. The opposition has now given the Tali-PAP the mandate in those parts on our behalf. Thank you very much! That’s just sooooooo democratic.)

– that TT Durai has been slapped with two charges of corruption. He is accused of submitting false invoices to mislead the NKF. One charge reads that Durai had, between December 2003 and January 2004, deceived the NKF into making a $20,000 payment to a company for providing interior design consultancy service for various dialysis centres in 2003. The other alleges he deceived the NKF, in September 2003, into paying $5,000 to another company as consultancy for hiring a senior manager for NKF. In both cases, no such services were rendered. For each charge, Durai faces a maximum fine of $100,000 or five years in jail, or both. He is out on bail of $50,000. (Maybe Sim Wong Hoo ought to read this and be glad that the Creative staff he complained about in his NUTS book are actually following proper procedures, CEO or not.)

– that the next revision to public transport fares will be made in August, not May, as originally expected. The PTCl said the delay will allow broad changes to the PTC Act to be put in place. These include a new licensing regime for bus operators, an audit system for bus operator service standards and a penalty system for commuters who underpay intentionally. (Why not delay it until October? That would make the Chinese phrase 秋后算帐 – to settle the debts after Autumn – even more meaningful.)

– that Singapore’s PSA International will acquire 20% of the port operations of its Hong Kong rival Hutchison Whampoa for US$ 4.39 billion in cash, the two shipping giants announced. PSA’s move followed its failure in February to win control of British competitor Peninsula and Oriental Steam Navigation Company, which would have created the world’s biggest port operator. (Is Mama-thir sore we didn’t buy into Tanjung Pelapas and Pasir Gudang?)

– that actor Terence Cao escaped a possible jail term for drink driving, but was stripped of his licence for two years and fined $4,100 by a district court. Cao’s lawyer, Mr S.S. Dhillon, said his client had drunk alcohol before he was stopped, but only because he had been filming a scene a few hours earlier that required him to drink alcohol. The lawyer claimed Cao had chosen to drink the real thing to ‘boost the realism’. (Gee.. be glad that he didn’t drink and rape someone to try and ‘boost the realism’.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that a friend told me that someone wrote to one of the papers something to the following effect: “I was there when Lao Lee fell into the drain and I saw him pick himself out of it. At that time I said Lao Lee would become a great man!” (Don’t you all love all these ‘after the event prophets’? The same soul would probably have said the following had Lao Lee failed: “Walk also walk until fall inside drain. How to do big things?!”)

– that electric violinist Vanessa-Mae Nicholson, famed for her wet T-shirt album covers as much as for her music, is Britain’s richest young entertainer. he Sunday Times, which released its latest rankings of richest musicians yesterday, said the 27-year-old Singapore-born violinist was worth £32 million, thanks to album sales and concert revenues. (As usual, the Stooge Times cannot pass up putting the phrase ‘Singapore-born’ whenever they talked about Vanessa-Mae. Darth Grievous also cannot pass up the opportunity to ‘correct’ that over-sight either.)

– that Google injected even more optimism into analysts’ already bright outlooks by reporting a 60% increase in its first-quarter profit. The earnings topped the average analyst estimate by an extraordinary 32 cents per share. Revenue surged 79% to $2.25 billion, an astounding growth rate for a company as large as Google. (What so astounding was that if you bought shares of Google in the open market – not during IPO – you are earning a just meagre $1.95 out of about every $390 you put into this share before this announcement. That’s just about 0.5%, and that caused the share price to moved up 10%. A good day for any stock trader! Now, a share like AMD beats analyst estimates by 8 cts a share – EPS was 38 cts. That’s for a stock at $35 and thus it’s 1%. Putting almost the same amount of money into this share will give you 10 shares and would earn you $3.80 out of $350, more than 1%. Guess what happened to AMD’s share prices? Analysts says outlook for computer chips is bad and it went down to $33 after market hours. And then went further down to $31.9 the day after – a good 10% losses for anyone trading the shares of this brick and mortar business. What does that tell you? All that analysts stuff is just fiction and what they think about a share is probably decided with a toss of coin.)

– that Chinese fans of Google have created an online petition to get the popular search engine to change its Chinese name, ‘Guge’ [谷歌]. Reasons cited are that the name is ‘weird’, ‘unsophisticated’ and could damage the ‘cool’ image of Google in China. “Google, we love you, but we don’t love Guge,” said the petition on the website called www.noguge.com. It added: “The name Guge is not satisfactory and we are disappointed. Do you hear us, Google?” (Do you click on the ads and contribute to Google’s bottom line? No? Who gives a blasted damn about your disappointment?!)

– that gaming consoles is a good way of combatting piracy. (Simple right? If you can’t play pirated games unless you modify the console, and modifying the console may damage it, it is then a good way to combat piracy because not every person will want to modify their multi-hundred dollar console.)

– that computer users are being urged to update the Firefox web browser to close serious security holes in it. Some of the security lapses in Mozilla software, which Firefox is based on, could allow malicious hackers to hijack computers. There have been a total of 21 security flaws in various versions of Firefox, according to security firm Secunia. (Will there ever be a day we can be free from this nonsense, forever?)

– that the U.S. is close to losing its place as the top spam sending nation on Earth. Statistics from security firm Sophos show that China is fast catching up the U.S. as a source of junk e-mail. According to Sophos, 23.1% of spam comes from computers in the US and 21.9% comes from China. The UK is tenth on the list of spam sources. (China – Superpower at last! Junk mail Superpower.)

– that the Chinese gover-min enforced a recent decree that Chinese computer manufacturers will now have to install software at their factories, rather than leaving software to outside retailers who could turn to pirated copies. (It will be a good day for Microsoft if they just load Windows!)

– that an Oregon man will pay nearly $84,000 in fines and consumer restitution for using e-mail to market bogus anti-spyware software called Spyware Cleaner, Washington state officials said in announcing a settlement. (He should be infected with his own bogus software.)

– that persistent hiccupping in addition to weight-loss and difficulty swallowing could be a warning sign of cancer of the esophagus, an Irish researcher said. Professor Tom Walsh, of the James Connolly Memorial Hospital in Dublin, told a meeting of the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland that some patients with esophageal cancer complain of persistent hiccups. In a study of 99 patients with the disease he said 27% complained of persistent hiccups and 6% said it prompted them to see a doctor. (Coming up next: Persistent farting is an indication of colon cancer and persistent burping is an indication to stomach cancer. And here’s the killer: Persistent laughing is an indication of brain cancer.)