The Ugly Singaporean Award

– that a 64-year-old married cobbler who figured out a scam to have free sex with young foreign women from matchmaking agencies here has been nabbed. He handed a cheque for $10,000 – which he deliberately use a full stop instead of a comma, so the figure showed up as $1.0000 or $10.000, which banks would not honour. The matchmakers, in their hurry to clinch a deal, failed to notice the discrepancy and let their women leave with him. He first duped the Vietnam Brides International Matchmaker in Beach Road on Oct 24 to release a 21-year-old Vietnamese woman into his care. He then took her to ROM where he registered online for a solemnisation date. Believing they were already married, the woman, who cannot be named, followed her ‘husband’ to a hotel in Geylang. He kept her there for a week, often having sex with her twice a day. Occasionally, he took her out to visit the Zoo and Kusu Island. Thinking this was their honeymoon, she gave in to all his wishes. After they checked out on Oct 29, he took her back to the matchmaking agency on the pretext of getting her belongings. He gestured for her to go into the agency on her own and then meet him at the shopping centre’s entrance. When she stepped into the agency, staff told her that her ‘husband’s’ cheque had bounced and that a police report had been made. He tried to pull his scam one more time and almost succeeded at a matchmaking agency in Katong, if not for an alert boss who smelled a rat. He was finally arrested when he tried the same trick again on another agency for Chinese brides a few days later. (They should charge him for rape and put him away for a long, long time. After all, this sick bastard’s too old to be caned.)

The World This Week

– that the UN’s food and farming body renewed its plea for more effort to improve agriculture in poor countries to ease hunger and malnutrition which kill nearly 6 million children a year. In its annual report, ‘The State of Food Insecurity in the World’, the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) said the world was way behind on hunger reduction goals for 2015 set at political summits over the last 10 years. (SIX million? It is a tragedy when some children are dying from hunger when pampered Singaporean children throw away their food simply because they don’t like how it tastes.)

– that homosexual ‘rights’ activists and liberal Catholics girded for a long battle over the Vatican’s tougher stance on homosexuality, predicting the Church would lose thousands of followers in the U.S. (Repent and desist. There was never a compromise on that.)

– that the policy, drafted to deal with scandals over pedophile priests that erupted in Boston in 2002 and spread across the U.S., says the Church can admit those who have clearly overcome homosexual tendencies for at least three years. But practicing homosexuals and those with ‘deep-seated’ homosexual tendencies and those who support a homosexual culture should be barred, it said. Conservatives in the Roman Catholic Church and in other religions welcomed the stand. (Bucking the trend and doing what is right. Long live Pope Benedict XVI.)

– that homosexual U.S. Anglican bishop Gene Robinson said a Vatican document barring practicing homosexual men from becoming Roman Catholic priests showed a profound misunderstanding of homosexuality. The document, due to be published next week, says men with ‘deep-seated’ homosexual tendencies cannot become priests and that only those who have overcome their homosexuality at least three years before ordination can do so. “I think the Vatican, or whoever wrote this statement, should spend a little more time listening to its homosexual and lesbian members rather than putting out statements. This strikes me as language from people who profoundly do not understand homosexual and lesbian people … who know next to nothing about being homosexual or lesbian.”, Robinson said. (And Gene Robinson should spend more time reading the Word of God and stop deceiving himself and many of those who look up to him as a shepherd. Obviously, he has demonstrated that he profoundly do not understand Scriptures, and know nothing about just how much he is contradicting them.)

Hear ye these: 1 Corinthians 6:9 – 10 “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19- 21 “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

– that the CIA’s interrogation methods are ‘unique’ but don’t involve torture, agency chief Porter Goss says, although he won’t specify just what techniques are used to extract information from prisoners. Goss reiterated the Bush administration’s regime’s defense of its interrogation practices in the war against terrorism. “This agency does not do torture. Torture does not work,” Goss said. “We use lawful capabilities to collect vital information and we do it in a variety of unique and innovative ways, all of which are legal and none of which are torture.” (Well, they certainly can’t tell you that their ‘unique’ interrogation methods means having a few Dark Jedis to rip the information out of your brains and then turning you into a mouth-frothing brain dead moron, right?)

– that Warmonger Bush was informed 10 days after the September 11, 2001 attacks that U.S. intelligence had no proof of links between Iraq and that act of terror, The National Journal reported. Citing gover-min documents as well as past and present Bush administration officials, the magazine said Warmonger was briefed on September 21, 2001 that evidence of cooperation between Iraq and the Al-Qaeda terror network was insufficient. Warmonger was also informed that there was some credible information about contacts between Saddam Hussein and Al-Qaeda that showed that the Iraqi dictator had tried to establish surveillance over the group, according to the report. (Osama bin Laden hates Saddam’s guts and originally proposed to the Saudi gover-min to unleash what he unleashed upon the world now upon the Iraqis during the first Gulf War.)

– that the FBI said e-mails made to look like they come from the agency are warning computer users that the FBI is monitoring their Internet use. “These scam e-mails tell the recipients that their Internet use has been monitored by the FBI and that they have accessed illegal Web sites,” the FBI said in a statement. “The e-mails then direct recipients to open an attachment and answer questions. These e-mails did not come from the FBI. Recipients of this or similar solicitations should know that the FBI does not engage in the practice of sending unsolicited e-mails to the public in this manner.” The agency said it was investigating the matter and urged anyone who received such an e-mail to report it to the Internet Crime Complaint Center. (If you are not an U.S. citizen who is not in the U.S., and not doing anything illegal, you don’t have to give a damn. And if you are an U.S. citizen overseas, the FBI should be letting the local police handle it. And if you are an U.S. citizen in the States, go scream to the ACLU.)

– that a Chilean judge ordered the arrest of former dictator Augusto Pinochet over millions of dollars kept in secret overseas bank accounts. Investigating judge Carlos Cerda charged Pinochet, who will turn 90 on Friday, with fraud, providing falsified documents and making false declarations to avoid paying tax. It is the fourth time in seven years that Pinochet, who led a military junta from 1973 to 1990, has been arrested. But he has never faced trial for rights abuses accusations or his personal dealings. (He can’t escape forever. Sooner or later they will get him, Al Capone style.)

– that one in three Britons believes a woman who flirts is partly or totally responsible if she is raped, a ‘shocking’ opinion poll showed. Between a third and a quarter of respondents also put part or all of the blame on the woman if she fails to say ‘no’ clearly to the man, wears sexy clothes, drinks too much, has many sexual partners and walks alone in a deserted area. “It is shocking that so many people will lay the blame for being raped at the feet of women themselves,” said Kate Allen, a spokeswoman for Amnesty International UK which commissioned the research. (The key issue here is consent. Even if the woman being raped is ‘loose’ does not means giving anyone the green light to rape her.)

– that Britain has warned media organizations they are breaking the law if they publish details of a leaked document said to show Warmonger Bush wanted to bomb Arabic television station Al Jazeera. The gover-min’s top lawyer warned editors in a note after the Daily Mirror newspaper reported that a secret British gover-min memo said Tony B-liar had talked Bush out of bombing the broadcaster in April last year. (What’s the big issue here? The last time they bombed a Chinese Embassy with 5 cruise missiles, and said it was a mistake because they were using old maps. If they think that lame excuse was good enough for China, they can always re-use it because it’s got to be good enough for anybody.)

– that European parliamentarians criticized Singapore’s mandatory death penalty and urged the gover-min to stop next week’s scheduled execution of a 25-year-old Australian drug smuggler. Nguyen Tuong Van, convicted by Singapore of trying to smuggle 400 grams of heroin – enough to make 26,000 doses – from Cambodia, is to be hanged on December 2 despite repeated pleas from Australia to reconsider clemency for the former salesman. “The death penalty is firmly rejected in the European Parliament, but it is applied here. Clearly, we have different positions,” Hartmut Nassauer, chairman of the delegation for relations with Southeast Asia, told reporters at a briefing in Singapore. We believe in universal democracy, rights and human law.” (What these European shitheads need to believe is that if there’s no ultimate penalty, then what can restraint people from doing the worst they are capable of?)

– that John Coward fought off demands that he impose sanctions on Singapore for its refusal to grant clemency to an Australian awaiting execution for drug trafficking. But he warned Singapore that the hanging of 25-year-old Vietnamese-Australian Nguyen Tuong Van would not ‘go unnoticed’ by Australia. He also said the ICJ had no jurisdiction in the case, as Singapore was doing nothing illegal. (If a drug trafficker didn’t have to die because he isn’t Singaporean, then neither should any of the Singaporeans drug traffickers die either. And did Australia care about them? So stop being a bunch of blasted hypocrites.)

– that a former Australian prime minister has called Singapore a ‘rogue Chinese port’ for ignoring appeals to save a drug smuggler from the death penalty. Gough Whitlam, in office in the 1970s, made the remark in an interview about the case of an Australian national who is due to be hanged next week. (I sincerely hope he isn’t a descendant of those sent to a former British penal colony called… oops… Australia!)

– that Australia will not punish Singapore over the planned execution of an Australian drug smuggler, John Coward said ahead of protests around the country to oppose the Dec 2 hanging. He rejected calls by a prominent gover-min politician for the hanging of 25-year-old Nguyen Tuong Van to be part of the Australian gover-min’s deliberations on whether to grant Singapore Airlines access to the Sydney-LA air route. (For once I see the wisdom in the Australian people in returning him to power in the last elections.)

– that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s faction has claimed responsibility for attacks that have left hundreds of Iraqis dead, and the U.S. has called him the most dangerous terrorist in Iraq. Still, even as al-Zarqawi threatens more chaos – in recordings and internet messages – many Iraqis believe the Jordanian militant does not even exist and is merely a phantom created by the Americans to sow unrest in the country. Similar disbelief greeted Britain’s explanation that its soldiers, arrested in southern Iraq disguised as Arabs, were on an undercover hunt for terrorists. Instead, some Iraqis argue the soldiers were out to kill Shi’ite Muslims and blame the murders on Sunnis in hopes of sparking civil war. (And the moon doesn’t exists either. It’s an illusion put there by the Devil.)

– that the UN’s chief investigator on torture has praised China’s lea-duhs for acknowledging the widespread abuse of prisoners in the nation’s jails. Mr Manfred Nowak, the UN Human Rights Commission’s special rapporteur on torture, said Beijing had offered him freer access to detainees than the U.S. was prepared to give him on a recently-scrapped trip to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.”There is a growing awareness that torture is quite widely practised in the common criminal proceedings in China by the police and that something needs to be done,” he said in an interview with the BBC. (Might as well admit that it happens, rather than denying it having a UN investigator discover it in person.)

– that the Japanese foreign minister said he supported the view of history at a controversial war shrine’s museum, which describes Japan’s wars in Asia as having been fought in self-defence. The outspoken Mr Taro Aso Arsehole, who was appointed in a Cabinet reshuffle last month, said he did not feel that the museum at the Yasukuni shrine glorified war. “The exhibition merely shows what happened in those days,” he said on television. Yushukan, a war memorial museum located inside the Shinto sanctuary, portrays Japan as defending itself against Western colonialists, not as invading neighbouring countries, up to 1945 – when World War II ended. (Shameless liar. So why is Japan defending itself in Korea, China, Indo-China, Burma and all the way to the Malay Archipelago and down to Papua New Guinea?)

– that Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi has infuriated China and South Korea by repeatedly visiting the Yasukuni shrine, which honours 14 top war criminals among 2.5 million Japanese war dead. “I visit Yasukuni shrine in order to pay my respects to the victims who lost their lives against their will,” he told journalists after the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in South Korea, where Hu Jintao refused to meet him. (Victims? An invading army? Rot in hell you lying sonuvabitch.)

– that China expressed ‘shock’ over Taro Aso’s Arsehole’s support for the view of history depicted at a museum in the controversial Yasukuni war shrine in Tokyo. Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Liu Jianchao said China was ‘shocked at the comments’. He told a regular briefing: “The shrine is denying history and is glorifying Japan’s wartime past.” (It goes to show that certain proud races will go as far as living in a lie than to admit to being wrong.)

– that Thaksin Shinawatra has said he will not answer reporters’ questions until next year because the alignment of the planets is not in his favor. “Right now Mercury … is in a corner perfectly aligned with my star. Mercury is no good, so if it’s not good, I am going to request not to speak. I’ll just wait until next year to talk,” Thaksin told reporters Sunday after returning to Bangkok from a trip to South Korea and China. He added that Mercury moves slowly and will not steer clear of his star until next year. (Is he also having constipation because of that?)

– that the U.S., Australia and Britain have issued fresh warnings about possible terrorist attacks in Indonesia after a militant website showed how and where to kill foreigners in Jakarta. Australia warned travellers that attacks could be staged against Western interests before the end of the year. The website shows in diagrams how to shoot foreigners in Jakarta or throw grenades at motorists stuck in the city’s notorious traffic jams. (Somehow they get this funny idea that ‘Holy War’ means making many holes in other people.)

– that a video clip in Malaysia showed a Chinese women being told to told to strip and then made to squat and stand repeatedly while pulling her ears. A policewoman stood guard while a voice in the background recited verses from the Quran during the 30-second video. The clip, said to be recorded secretly using a camera phone, was shown to Home Minister Azmi Khalid, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Mohamed Nazri Abdul Aziz and opposition lea-duh Lim Kit Siang. The woman was believed to be one of three detained Chinese nationals who complained of police harassment. Several MPs who saw the video said it was shocking and embarrassing. (Malaysia should be glad. It finally has its own version of Abu Ghuraib.)

– that Abdullah Badawi ordered Home Minister Azmi Khalid to go to China to explain that Malaysia welcomes its citizens. The directive follows a scandal that erupted earlier this month involving the strip-search of three female Chinese nationals. The women, who said they showed genuine travel and identity documents to police officers, alleged they were strip-searched for holding fake passports. They also claimed that male officers peeped while they were bathing during their detention. (Now it’s time for a high profile court case for Malaysia’s Lynnie England and Charles Garner!)

Singapore This Week

– that amid calls in Australia for Singapore to take the case to the ICJ, opposition lea-duh Typo-Gangster Chee Soon Juan has chosen to lend his support in protest against the planned execution. He has called on Australia to lead an international protest to help save the life of condemned drug smuggler Nguyen Tuong Van. (Gangster Chee should know by now, if he continues to do this, he will never have acceptance among Singaporeans. Among my friends, there’s a dirty word for his actions: – T – R – E – A – S – O – N –.)

– that Typo said the Australian gover-min, which has campaigned strenuously for clemency for Nguyen, should appeal to other countries, including the U.S., to put pressure on Singapore not to hang Nguyen. (Indeed. We should hang Chee in his place instead. I’ll gladly volunteer to be the one to operate the gallows.)

– that Typo said: “It’s just not a situation between Singapore and Australia; really, it runs deeper and far wider than this. In the upcoming months and years you’ll see a lot more people from around the world getting hanged for small-time drug peddling in Singapore. No stone must be left unturned and every country, every gover-min that will listen to this call for justice and to put a stop to this insanity must be approached.” (Small-time drug peddling? Well, you wanna try 400 grams of heroin at one go and come back to tell me about how small time it really is?)

– that Typo Gangster Chee believes that Singapore will not be reformed through elections but by civil disobedience against what he calls ‘unjust laws’. And he said he planned to use the forthcoming elections to talk about democratic reform and would continue to promote civil liberties in the face of libel laws and limits on political activities. (Obviously, Typo deserves to lose. He doesn’t understand the Singapore electorate and want they want and offer something that most of them really don’t give a flying damn about.)

– that comparing his struggle to Mahatma Gandhi’s non-violent fight against British colonisers and drawing parallels with the American civil rights movement, he said he would continue to defy curbs on public expression and free assembly. “It is never enough to appeal to the good sense of the gover-min. Authoritarian gover-min never budge,” he said. (As a psychiatrist, Typo should well be aware that he is now suffering from illusions of grandeur, self delusions and fantasies. Above which, Gandhi must have felt so insulted.)

– that critics say Typo Gangster Chee has failed to strike a chord with the public because of his adversarial style and because he fights for abstract causes rather than bread-and-butter issues which Singaporeans care about. (It’s his despicable act of siding with outsiders to wack his own country and people that’s the most disgusting. And when Typo continually vilifies Singapore as a whole, then he should disband his party and never run for elections. How does he expect the very people he vilifies to actually make him their representative and give him a voice in Parliament?)

– that after staying away from Singapore for nearly 30 years because he defaulted on his national service, pianist Melvyn Tan maximum fine of $5,000 for not fulfilling his national service duty and will be performing at the Esplanade next month. (Under the Enlistment Act, those who evade national service can be fined up to $5,000 or sent to jail for up to three years, or both. And if pianist Melvyn Tan was penis Nobody Tan will be serving 3 years plus fined $5000.)

– the that Sunday Sundae Times claims that along with Seow Yit Kin and Margaret Leng Tan, Melvyn Tan has helped Singapore to gain recognition on the global piano scene. (So, this is how you can escape NS: Do something that will ‘help Singapore gain recognition on the global scene’. And all you need to do is pay $5,000, and you don’t need to even serve a single minute. Got it? By the way, who has heard of Melvyn Tan putting Singapore on the global scene? I only recall hearing about a Singapore-born violinist.)

– that a TING LAN INN accused a group of five physically fit SCDF national servicemen of making a mockery of chivalry when they refused to offer their seats to a boy when he asked them to, and instead offered their laps. The writer claims to be looked unwell and tired. Above which, the SCDF servicemen were accused of mocking him by patting their laps. (Who can tell if the service men are really mocking or just this Ting fellow is being petty? The boy could sit on the laps of these fellows and from a neutral point of view, it’s the best of both worlds – both the kid and the servicemen asked to give up his seat gets to sit!)

-that the gover-min has said that households are barred from using satellite dishes in order to keep out undesirable content that is at odds with Singapore’s multi-racial and multi-religious society. The reasons for stopping undesirable content from easy entry to the homes of Singaporeans through satellite dishes remain valid and important because in the face of increasing security challenges worldwide today, Singapore must continue to be vigilant against external influences that may split or divide society. (* Yawn * For starters, what society? Take a look at the behaviour of Singaporeans on public transports and tell me that our ‘society’ isn’t dysfunctional.)

– that the Mini$ter of State for Transport is not convinced that the evening toll on the north-bound CTE is pushing traffic jams to a later hour. Lim Hwee Hua believes the jams that occur after the toll is lifted at 8pm are occasional, last only for a while and could be the result of an event in Orchard Road. In fact, the toll is causing a better flow of traffic on the CTE, she said, trotting out figures to substantiate it. (Just shut the hell up and use that road everyday for 6 months. Then come back and tell us about ‘figures’.)

– that new guidelines from the NEA will finally ease the long queues outside women’s toilets here. The revised Code of Practice for Environmental Health, released yesterday, now requires all new buildings to have as many loos for women as for men, if not more. The requirements – good news for women who have had to suffer interminable queues at public toilets – were announced at an event in Raffles Place to celebrate World Toilet Day. (They should also consider making the cubicles bigger so pink shits don’t have an excuse to use toilets for the handicapped anymore. In fact, there should be a sign outside the handicap toilet with the following caption: “Dogs and Pink Shit Not Allowed”. But that would be very insulting to dog owners.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that a French woman who is terrified of flying admitted in an Australian court that she drunkenly tried to open an airplane door mid-flight to smoke a cigarette. Sadrine Helene Sellies, 34, was placed on a good behavior bond after pleading guilty in Brisbane Magistrates Court to endangering the safety of an aircraft. (It almost turned out to be another ‘Natural Selection’ Award. But it would be sad that in the process of nature eliminating this bozo, a whole plane of people would have died along with her.)

– that NTU raised a tender of 300 designer chairs which cost $2,200 each. ‘Genius’ LOH KA WAI applauded NTU as a Singapore employer who cares enough about its employees to invest in their welfare. Loh argued that over a 12-year warranty period, the $2,200 price tag for the chair amounts to 50 cents a day, and for that, there is higher productivity and reduced medical bills for back problems. He said he has yet to see a better investment for 50 cents a day. (That’s provided that the kriffing chair doesn’t end up in a condition not covered by the 12th year warranty and gotten itself written off.)

– that Loh further said, “If we do not take care of our professors, how can we expect our universities to be world-class, attract the top talents to join us and remain in the top rankings?” (Funny. How does Loh suppose a university with ‘well taken care of’ professors become ‘world class’ and remain in the top rankings if the students cannot perform? It is as if ‘well taken care of’ professors alone will definitely produce top students and even morons will turn genius under their tutelage.)

– that Loh cite that a MOH report highlighted the fact that growing numbers of working people in Singapore are suffering from back and shoulder aches due to poorly designed office furniture and bad posture. (Furniture is not just the chair alone. And well, who can tell how much of it is caused by poorly designed office furniture or bad posture?)

– that scientists monitoring earth movements in Antarctica believe they have found a singing iceberg. Sound waves from the iceberg had a frequency of around 0.5 hertz, too low to be heard by humans, but by playing them at higher speed the iceberg sounded like a swarm of bees or an orchestra warming up, the scientists said. (Actually, the iceberg’s screaming in pain due to global warming: “I’m melting. Help! I’m melting!!”)

The Ugly Singaporean Award

– that NICKLAS HANSEN, a disappointed visitor from Denmark, wrote a letter to TODAY about a younger woman pushing past an elderly one just to get a seat on the MRT train at City Hall. The woman, travelling with her husband and little daughter, alighted at the next stop at Dhoby Ghaut. (A photo of that bitch will do just fine.)

The World This Week

– that Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town that disaster may strike there because they ‘voted God out of your city’ by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design. All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce ‘intelligent design’ – the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power – as an alternative to the theory of evolution. “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God. You just rejected him from your city,” Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s ‘700 Club’. (How can a messenger of God ask people to not turn to Him? Oh, this is the same Pat Robertson who suggested that the U.S. should assassinate murder Chavez, right?)

– that Hillary Clinton said that she supports the separation fence Israel is building along the edges of the West Bank, and that the onus is on the Palestinian Authority to fight terrorism. “This is not against the Palestinian people,” Clinton, a New York Democrat, said during a tour of a section of the barrier being built around Jerusalem. “This is against the terrorists. The Palestinian people have to help to prevent terrorism. They have to change the attitudes about terrorism.” (No point offend the Jewish lobby if you want to run for President.)

– that across the U.S., pundits are salivating at the prospect of a 2008 presidential election between Condom-leezza Lice and Hillary Clinton. Iit is being called the match-up from heaven. (The Democrats may want to say, ‘We offer you the first women President and then throw in an Afro-American as Veep’, but it is not unexpected of the Republicans to say ‘We offer you the first woman and Black President in one package!’ Match-up from heaven, indeed.)

– that Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, the brother of Warmonger Bush, ruled out running for president in 2008 but left open the possibility of a subsequent bid in an interview with a German magazine. (Maybe you Americans love them. But some of us here among the rest of the world have had enough of Bushes, and Clits Clintons.)

– that 4 state legislators in Massachusetts have introduced a bill that would soften the crime of bestiality, a move pro-family activists say is a natural progression of the state’s legalizing same-sex marriage. The new measure would give activist judges the option of slapping perps with a mere two and a half years in plush local jails, or even letting zoophiliacs walk with a $5,000 fine. Previously, those convicted of ‘a sexual act on an animal’ could receive up to 20 years in prison. (They should be thankful that God is saving His wrath for the End Times ever since His Son went to the Cross. Otherwise, a close cousin of whatever that wiped out Sodom and Gommorah will be on its way.)

– that the American Civil Anti-Christ Liberties Union has filed suit over a Georgia law that exempts the Bible from sales taxes, calling it discriminatory. Candace Apple, owner of the Phoenix and Dragon Bookstore near Atlanta and a plaintiff in the suit, argues the exemption should apply to any book that addresses the meaning of life, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. (Well, which of those other books addressing the meaning of life helped the founders of the United States draft the Constitution?)

– that Warmonger Bush was urged to raise Beijing’s crackdown of the Falun Gong Far Long Gone ‘spiritual’ group during his talks this week with Chinese lea-duhs. “President Bush must bring up the Falun Gong Far Long Gone in his public meetings with President Hu Jintao and China’s lea-duhs, and call for, in unambiguous terms, an end to the suppression,” the group’s spokesman Erping Zhang said. “It is imperative China’s lea-duhship hear in strong terms that what they are doing to Falun Gong Far Long Gone is unacceptable and needs to stop,” he said in a statement. (Oh well, neither is the Far Long Gone’s irritating anti-China propaganda acceptable. And it needs to stop as well, in Singapore.)

– that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez accused Mexican lea-duh Vicente Fox of being a ‘puppy’ of Warmonger Bush and said: “Don’t mess with me, sir.” Fox shot back that ‘we have dignity in this country’ and demanded an apology. Now the two nations are withdrawing their ambassadors. (Fight lah! Fight lah! Talk so much.)

– that he brutal slaying of an unarmed police officer who interrupted a robbery in Bradford city centre has had an unexpected fallout: Calls for the death penalty to be reinstated in Britain. (It is easy to say we should be humane and treat murderers humanely and that putting them to death is a matter of revenge and being barbaric, until murder happens before our very eyes in all its ugly ‘glory’ or happen to one of our family.)

– that a long-awaited Vatican document says practicing gays, those with ‘deeply rooted’ homosexual tendencies or those who support gay culture cannot be admitted to the priesthood, an Italian newspaper reported. “The church cannot admit to the priesthood those who practice homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies or who support the so-called ‘gay culture’.” the newspaper said, citing the document. (Way to go, Pope Benedict XVI! And it’s high time the world take back the word gay from the homosexuals. Otherwise no one can sing ‘Old Black Joe’ anymore, because this is how it starts “Gone are the days, when my heart was young and gay.”)

– that the French cabinet is to ask parliament to extend by three months a state of emergency aimed at tackling unrest in impoverished suburbs. The laws, which allow local councils to impose curfews and ban gatherings, were introduced for 12 days. (They should get help from China. Really.)

– that a French gover-min bill extending until February a state of emergency will be presented to the national assembly after President Jacques Chirac said that widespread rioting in the country revealed a deep identity crisis. In his first address to the nation since the troubles began on October 27, Chirac vowed to fight the ‘poison’ of discrimination faced by France’s immigrant communities and described the unrest as ‘a crisis of meaning, a crisis of identity’. (It is a crisis that is a result of not just the ‘poison’ of discrimination, but also the ‘poison’ of refusal to assimilate.)

– that as Australian police combed through the evidence seized in a string of raids that thwarted major terror attacks in Melbourne and Sydney, investigations revealed that a competition was brewing between two terror cells based in the two cities to be the first to deliver the death-bomb in the country. Detectives said that cell members were anxious to become martyrs and that the Melbourne cell wanted ‘to do something’ about the fact that the Sydney group appeared to be leading in the race to stage an attack. (If they wanted to die so badly, just die quietly without taking innocents along with them. A simpler way would be to find a long beam, and all of them can each fashion a noose to see who can hang himself faster.)

– that the Al Qaeda in Iraq group has claimed responsibility for three hotel bombings that killed at least 56 people in Amman, the biggest outbreak of violence in Jordan since 1970. Hours after the attack, Abu Mussab Zarqawi, the Jordanian-born lea-duh who heads Osama bin Laden’s Al Qaeda cell in Iraq, said in a statement on the Internet that his followers carried out the attacks, Jordan’s state news agency, Petra reported. The blasts at the Radisson SAS hotel, the Hyatt Amman and the Days Inn killed at least 56 people and wounded more than 93 others. Investigations later in the day led to the arrest of several people in connection with the attacks, AFP reported, citing an unidentified security official. (Zarqawi should be allowed to die painlessly. He should be killed in such a way whereby he slowly lose his senses, and can actually feel his awareness slowly slip away until the last thing he knew is that his awareness is like the only spot of light of a switched off television screen, before it winked out. Yes, that is how Zarqawi should die. And of course, families of the terrorists should be given a copy of Osama’s Secret Diary.)

– that calling the terrorist al Qaeda in Iraq lea-duh a ‘lowlife’, Jordanians flooded the nation’s capital in bitter protest of the triple suicide bombings that shook the city a day earlier and killed at least 56 people, most of Arab descent. “Burn in hell, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi!” hundreds of protesters shouted, denouncing the terrorist network’s lea-duh – a Jordan native – after an Internet posting stated his group was responsible for the attacks. (Now it’s time to turn that anger into strength by rooting out the terrorists in your midst.)

– that despite admissions by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and a would-be Iraqi female suicide bomber, Iran says Israel was responsible for the deadly blasts that killed 57 people last week at three hotels in Jordan. “The explosions in Jordan are a suspicious matter. Most probably the Zionist regime (Israel) was behind them,” Iranian foreign ministry spokesman Hamid Reza Asefi told reporters. (And Iran is behind it whenever someone in the world has constipation or diarrhea.)

– that as part of their campaign for upcoming ‘Palestinian’ elections, senior politicians from Fatah Party have been advocating the past few days continued terror attacks against Israel, including the firing of missiles, until the Jewish state leaves the West Bank and Jerusalem. The rhetoric comes in spite of a cease-fire signed by Abbas and Ariel Sharon, and Abbas’ pledge to the international community to disarm the ‘Palestinian’ terror groups. (And it is almost unlikely that it’s just election rhetorics.)

– that even though 4 official investigations and a hospital pathology report failed to find evidence of foreign substances in late Yasser Arafat’s bloodstream, a former senior Arafat aide claimed an Israeli assassin killed the ‘Palestinian’ lea-duh by blowing a slow-acting poison into his ear. (Oh really? I thought he die of syphillis.)

– that Warmonger Bush was due in Japan late Nov 15 to begin a week-long trip to Asia, hoping for progress on the North Korean nuclear crisis and aiming for action against deadly bird flu. After a refuelling stop at a military base in Alaska, the US president headed for Kyoto, where he was to tour Japan’s most-visited Buddhist temple on Wednesday before holding talks with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi. In a seperate news, an earthquake measuring 6.9 on the Richter scale shook northern Japan early Nov 15, causing authorities to issue a tsunami warning and evacuate hundreds of coastal homes, officials said. Tsunamis measuring up to 50 centimetres (20 inches) hit the Japanese east coast about one hour after the undersea quake hit at 6:39 am (2139 GMT), local officials said, but there were no reports of any damage or casualties. (There’s no clearer sign even the part of the Earth at Japan doesn’t welcome Warmonger Bush.)

– that China said it had no plans for a summit with Japan to improve relations stretched to breaking point over Konkz-umi’s visits to a controversial war shrine. “We have not arranged for talks at this level,” Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang told AFP here ahead of an Asia-Pacific summit to be attended by both Konkz-umi and Chinese President Hu Jintao. (No point talking to someone with a forked tongue and claiming to be leaving his post in a year.)

– that China has vowed to vaccinate all of its estimated 14 billion poultry to contain the spread of bird flu. In his announcement, Chief veterinary officer Jia Youling said all the fees would be covered by the gover-min. The move comes as new outbreaks of bird flu were confirmed in several regions of China in the past month. (So what’s the point when people are going to eat them later anyway? Above which, the virus will just mutate into another form that the vaccine can’t do shit about.)

– that Warmonger Bush prodded China to grant more political freedom to its 1.3 billion people and held up archrival Taiwan as a society that successfully moved from repression to democraZy as it opened its economy. In remarks sure to rile Beijing, Bush suggested China should follow Taiwan’s path. “Modern Taiwan is free and democratic and prosperous. By embracing freedom at all levels, Taiwan has delivered prosperity to its people and created a free and democratic Chinese society,” Warmonger said. (Well, it makes no difference which path China takes if there’s no change in the level of corruption. While corruption is not appreciated, China can do without the kind of political mess in Taiwan.)

– that 3 urns have been stolen from a crematorium here and notes left in their places demanding a ransom of HK$50,000 for the safe return of each set of ashes. A 27-year-old worker at the Tseung Kwan O Chinese Permanent Cemetery, the city’s largest, discovered the empty niches. (They can keep the urns and try and sell them to others for HK$50,000.)

– that Chen Shui-bian has dismissed criticism of his disclosure of the amount of aid given to former ally Senegal. Chen said the cost of the West African nation’s move to switch diplomatic recognition to Beijing needed to be made public. “If the President does not say it out, then nobody would know. Can we let ourselves be bullied in this way?” he said while campaigning for candidates from the ruling DPP who are contesting elections for city mayors and county magistrates next month. (Chen apparently likes to make himself the butt of all jokes. He is welcomed to do so often had he not make the people who elected him look like fools.)

– that in a move expected to stir further outcry, Taiwan’s state media regulator fined a Hong Kong-invested cable news network NT$1 million on charges of violating a media ownership law. “We decided to fine TVBS NT$1 million as its investor portfolio has violated Article 38 of the Broadcasting and Television Law,” Mr Pasuya Yao, head of the Government Information Office (GIO), said. (Would they award TVBS NT$1 million had it exposed dirt of the opposition instead?)

– that Myanmar’s military junta started moving key ministries to a secret location in the mountains and dense forest. The ruling generals made no announcement concerning the move. But officials said the relocation of the commerce, foreign, home affairs and post and telecommunications ministries to Pyinmana, about 320km north of the capital Yangon has began on Nov 6. Analysts say the move – under preparation for several months – was prompted by fears of an invasion by the U.S., one of the junta’s staunchest critics. (Got oil? No oil, no worries.)

that members of a Thai transvestite gang have confessed to hiding strong sedatives in their mouths and spitting them down the throats of victims during deep kissing. Then they rob the drugged tourists. The confession came from three attractive transvestites arrested in Bangkok last week. Police say they’d robbed a Bangladeshi businessman of more than $7,300 in cash and valuables. A police lieutenant colonel has this warning for tourists: “Don’t rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep.” (A deserving fate for the perverts with such interests.)

– that after three years on the run, Azahari Husin, one of Asia’s most wanted men, met his death in a manner befitting a master bomb-maker – blowing himself to bits as anti-terrorist police stormed his hideout in Batu, East Java. Within 24 hours, forensic detectives had confirmed through fingerprint and DNA tests that one of the two bodies found following the Wednesday night blasts was Azahari’s. “The fingerprints match those sent by the Malaysian police,” deputy police spokesman Sunarko Danu Ardanto told reporters. (A deserving end for a mass murderer. Too bad he can’t die a the number of times equal to the number of people his bombs have killed.)

– that a balaclava-clad man, believed to be Malaysian Noordin Mohammad Top, threatened Western nations in a recording found in the hideout of Azahari Husin. Noordin and Azahari have been accused of being top members of the Al Qaeda-linked regional Jemaah Islamiyah terror network and blamed for the 2002 Bali bombings and a string of attacks in Southeast Asia. “Accidents and terror by mujahedin will continue to take place as long as Western countries deploy their soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan,” said the man. (Go find your balls to go take the fight to the enemy soldiers instead of attacking innocents. But it’s a little hard to find something that is non-existent.)

Singapore This Week

– that Mama-thir was quoted in Utusan Malaysia as saying that ‘Singapore is getting bolder now that they could even threaten us’. In response to media queries, an MFA spokesman said Foreign Minister George Yeo was surprised and dismayed to hear that Mama-thir had interpreted his response to questions in Parliament as a ‘threat’. (The paranoid hears threat and feels threatened everywhere. Every shadow, and even the movement of cold air brushing his butt-hole is a threat.)

– that Singaporeans are not having enough sex. The country fell several notches to a dismal 40th out of 41 countries surveyed on how frequently they have sex for the 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey. That translates to 73 times a year, a drop from 79 times a year in 2004 with Japan propping up the table at 45. (The survey is in error. There are local homemade sex videos on sammyboy.com, and Japan probably produces more than half of the world’s pornography.)

– that the gover-min may pay a special bonus to low-income middle-aged workers to encourage them to stay employed. This latest plan to narrow the growing income gap was announced by Babt Lee at the Tali-PAP convention. The idea for bonuses was floated by Ng Eng Eng and Baby thinks it will work. The special one-off payout is to be given when there is a Budget surplus. It is to help low-income workers aged over 40, many of whom have both children and elderly parents to support. Those with the lowest incomes will get the biggest bonuses. (Yes. Erection Election is coming.)

– that consumers will soon have the choice of paying by cash, card, handphone or fingerprint. Singapore’s leading electronics payments provider, Network for Electronic Transfers Singapore (NETS), has developed prototypes that will allow mobile phones or fingerprints to be used to make payments. (In the future, robbers may actually say, “Give me your finger!!” or “Finger, or Life?”)

– that after two-and-a-half years of population surveys, appeals and a recent placard protest, the gates to the $80-million Buangkok MRT station will be opened by mid-January. Yeo Cheow Tong Lam Cheow Kong made this announcement after an event at Changi Airport. (The white elephant finally turning gray?)

– that Lam said, “We have asked SBS Transit, in lieu of their reduced losses on the Northeast Line (NEL), to consider opening the station.” While a survey conducted by the LTA showed that the MRT station would only be viable in 2008, Mr Yeo said SBS Transit was now prepared to open the station. He stressed that this was ‘a commercial decision’ as the govern-min will not step in to offset any losses. (此地无银三百两。[Translation: There is no gold 300 taels here. Generally a sarcastic remark used by the Chinese to says that someone is tried to hide something but end up making it obvious to everyone.)

– that the decision to open the Buangkok MRT station along the $4.6 billion North-east Line (NEL) is purely a commercial one. Reiterating what Lam Cheow Kong had said, Teo Chee Hean expressed surprise that people had been linking the opening of the station – scheduled for January, two years earlier than was recently just announced – to the upcoming GE. (Feign innocence, huh? Anyway, there’s the other bonus thing for poor workers right? Now that’s an election gimmick.)

– that if the household income is more than $750 per head, you are entitled to no health susidies from Touch Home Care [THC]. (Wow! It doesn’t matter if you make $3010 a month and you have 4 members in the household! The good news, THC isn’t the gover-min. The bad news? Imagine that this is what the gover-min is planning to do to well, ‘ensure that susidies are given to those who really needed it’. Good luck to Singapore. You need all the luck you can get.)

– that When MP Cynthia Phua suffered from a bout of flu after returning from Guangzhou last week, she imposed a ‘self quarantine’ and stayed home for two days. “It was not bird flu but I was still very concerned,” said the MP for Aljunied GRC. “Self restraint is important.” As the chairman of the steering committee of the ‘Our Town Sparkles’ campaign – an islandwide project to encourage residents to keep their estates clean – Mdm Phua is concerned with cleanliness, especially how it can prevent the outbreak of diseases. (While it is the responsible thing to do, ‘self quarantine’ isn’t a luxury simple joes like you and I can afford, without worrying about losing our jobs!)

– that a 10-member international advisory panel coordinated by MDA has given their support and recommendations to the Media 21 blueprint after two days of intensive meetings that included a session with Lao Goh. Conspicuously absent in the Media 21 blueprint and the panel’s feedback, however, was the issue of media freedom. (The propaganda machine has always been free to do what it does best.)

– that to raise a gross sum of $11 million, the NKF ran up expenses of $4.48 million. (Will a detail breakdown on how much of that $4.48 million is paid to MediaCorpse, or even SickTel, to ‘cover their cost’ be forthcoming?)

– that Mediacorp MediaCorpse has refuted suggestions that it profited from the NKF Cancer Show. NKF had paid MediaCorpse $2.5 million to produce the show. But most of that cost went towards paying for commercial TV spots – which MediaCorpse had billed NKF at discounted rates – to promote the show. (More than 50% out of 4.48 million! And if we take this 2.5 million off MediaCorpse annual P/L, would they be in the red? And all along, we all thought they did it for FREE!!!)

– that not all the money went to MediaCorpse. About $2 million was spent on advertising and promoting the show in local newspapers – including The Stooge Times, Lianhe Zaobao, Lianhe Wanbao, Shinmin Daily, The New Paper and Today – and other media such as in MRT trains during the month-long campaign. Of the $2.5 million paid to MediaCorpse, most went towards buying commercial airtime to plug the 1-900 phone numbers. Part of the money was spent on production. This included paying for the use of studio, rehearsals and recordings and insurance premiums for MediaCorp artistes involved in dangerous stunts. (This is a damned classic example of ‘I die I also wanna drag you along with me to hell’. Now lets have some fun looking at how SPH and SickTel squirm.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that the roadsign along West Coast Highway is written as ‘West Coast Hway’. (For a moment I thought which Ah Hway in West Coast so big shot got a road named after her and wondered where is the sister road – ‘West Coast Lian’.)

– that antivirus companies are releasing tools this week to identify, and in some cases remove, copy protection software contained on recent Sony BMG Music Entertainment CDs. The software has been identified as a potential security risk. The Sony software, found on several of the company’s recent albums, is triggered by playing one of the CDs in a PC. From the CD drive, the software installs itself deeply inside a hard drive and hides itself from view. This cloaking technique could be used by virus writers to hide their own malicious software, security experts have said. There is a range of opinion among security companies about how much risk the software poses, from those who consider it no worse than an adware pest to those who view it as potentially dangerous spyware. (Darth BiRdYz says, “Remove the blasted shit. Protect your CDs without installing the blasted shits onto my PC!!”)

– that according to Computer Associates, the Sony software makes itself a default media player on a computer after it is installed. The software then reports back the user’s Internet address and identifies which CDs are played on that computer. Intentionally or not, the software also seems to damage a computer’s ability to ‘rip’ clean copies of MP3s from non-copy protected CDs, the security company said. (Now that’s even more offensive. If you want to stop me from making counterfeits of stuff belonging to you, FINE! But you have no right to decide what else I can or cannot make a copy of! And I was told this shit even reports to Sony what discs I am playing on my PC. Now that’s intruding into my privacy!!)

– that Sony’s controversial anti-piracy CD software has been labelled as spyware by Microsoft. The software giant said the XCP copy protection system counted as malicious software under the rules it uses to define what Windows should be protected against. It is planning to include detection and removal tools for XCP in its weekly update to its anti-spyware software. (Well done, Microsoft. Anything that hides itself, and breaks Windows when you attempt a manual removal should be rightfully classified as malicious!)

– that stung by continuing criticism, Sony BMG Music Entertainment, promised Friday to temporarily suspend making music CDs with antipiracy technology that can leave computers vulnerable to hackers. Sony defended its right to prevent customers from illegally copying music but said it will halt manufacturing CDs with the ‘XCP’ technology as a precautionary measure. “We also intend to re-examine all aspects of our content protection initiative to be sure that it continues to meet our goals of security and ease of consumer use,” the company said in a statement. (Down with Sony BMG Music Entertainment!!)

– that Sony BMG Music Entertainment will recall millions of CDs that, if played in a consumer’s PC disc drive, will expose the computer to serious security risks. Anyone who has purchased one of the CDs can exchange the purchase. The company added that it would release details of its CD exchange program ‘shortly’. (Exchange? They should just give consumers a new one, for FREE. That’s for breaking Windows on their PCs.)

– that ‘genius’ CHIAM MOI LENG said, “Residents living in 4-room units could be sharing the same corridor with those living in 5-room units. A cleaner who sweeps and washes the common corridor provides similar services to both the 4 and 5-room households. Wouldn’t it be reasonable for the town councils to consider standardising conservancy charges since additional services are not provided to owners of the bigger flat units?” (And 4-roomers will think they are paying more and make noise. Come on! And what’s next? The guy on the 2nd floor complaining that he’s paying more than the guy on the 10th floor because part of his conservancy charges end up for servicing the lift which he doesn’t use. Here’s two suggestions for you: First, get a kriffing life. Next, downgrade to a 4-room. Then you get to pay the same conservancy charges as a 4-roomer, alright?)

– that certain cases of mouth cancer appear to be caused by a virus that can be contracted during oral sex, media reported, quoting a new Swedish study. People who contract a high-risk variety of the human papilloma virus, HPV, during oral sex are more likely to fall ill with mouth cancer, according to a study conducted at the Malmo University Faculty of Odontology in southern Sweden. (Remember always: Your mouth is for eating and drinking.)

– that terrorists blow themselves up because they believe they will all go to heaven served by 70 virgins. (Now that explains why there’s a lack of virgins on Earth.)

– that in 2005, some people wanted the word ‘brainstorming’ replaced by ‘thought shower’ so as not to offend people with brain disorders, and they also wanted ‘deferred success’ to replace ‘failure’ so as not to embarrass those who don’t succeed. The phrase that topped this year’s list was ‘misguided criminals’, one of several terms the BBC used so as not to use the word ‘terrorist’ in describing those who carried out train and bus bombings in London that killed 52 people in July. (No wonder ‘the war against the misguided’ repeatedly met with ‘deferred success’. And a ‘thought tropical storm’ is perhaps necessary to win this war.)

– that a friend sent me this interesting comic. (No one could have said it better than the Cantonese about this Moore fellow: “食碗面，反碗底” [Literal translation: To overturn the bowl after you have eaten the noodles. I think the closest English equivalent would be ‘Biting the hand that feeds you’.])

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Nov 11, 2005 – 1:25am Several loud shrieks in Hokkien cause me to awaken from my slumber. Damn eerie man. Thought it was a Pontianak but don’t those speak Malay? All I can hear is “Wa eh dian wey kia chut lai!” [translation: Take out my phone!] repeatedly. When I looked out of my window, I can see a woman screaming at a man, and after awhile, she decided to sit down by the roadside. The man did the same. The woman continued to scream at the man, “Wa eh dian ka wa wey kia chut lai!” [translation: Take my phone out for me!] I can’t hear what the man say. But it appears to me that the woman is accusing him of stealing or keeping her phone. Meantime, the man ignored her and seems to be busy SMS-ing. (see photo). Wa leow eh, uncle and auntie, 1:25am leh. You all si beh bo liao you know? I need to sleep lah. Diaoz!

Nov 11, 2005 – 1:40am Trying frantically to sleep. Damn, 7am shift tomorrow morning lah! * pui * Can hear some noises from below, and since I cannot sleep, I stuck my head out to see. Wow! Reinforcements have arrived (see photo). Dunno they ‘pway’ [negotiating] what. By now I am damned pissed for getting awaken by these bozos. Decided to close the window and try and sleep again. (Can’t sleep until 2:30am… * pui *) In the morning, I sure seow leow!

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Don’t ask me what happened to them. Whether the police come or not I don’t know. Damned pissed whenever my sleep is disrupted!!

No need to guess. I woke up at 6:55am. * pui *

And I needed to be in the office by 7:00am. Don’t ask me what time I reached office. It’s a disaster. Whole day felt like sleeping and whenever I looked into the mirror I saw Darth Panda.

But hey! This Olympus camera’s night shot quite bagus.. I will need to train myself to keep my hands stable to get a clear image. I know these images very blur, but I had to keep the flash off and put it to night shot mode to be as discreet as possible. 😛

The Ugly Singaporean Award

– that a little girl died because the clinic was closed for lunch break, and a Comfort cabby refused to pick them up upon learning the little girl’s condition. The taxi driver said he served only the Woodland area. (This heartless beast can forget about serving any other areas from now on! In fact, he should be banned from driving a cab, forever.)

The World This Week

– that Michael Moore once proclaimed that “I don’t own a single share of stock!”, and he’s right. He doesn’t own a single share. He owns tens of thousands of shares – including nearly 2,000 shares of Boeing, nearly 1,000 of Sonoco, more than 4,000 of Best Foods, more than 3,000 of Eli Lilly, more than 8,000 of Bank One and more than 2,000 of Halliburton, the company most vilified by Moore in ‘Fahrenheit 9/11.’ (What else can we expect from this liar?)

– that Dickhead Cheney’s ex-chief of staff, Mr Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby, is expected to plead not guilty to charges that he lied and obstructed justice in the CIA leak probe when he is arraigned. Libby, who was charged with five felonies, is putting the finishing touches on a new legal and public relations team. It will argue in court and in public that he is guilty of nothing more than having a foggy memory and a hectic schedule, according to people close to him. (Selective amnesia, eh?)

– that while members of the U.S. Senate are suggesting once again that no WMDs have been found in Iraq, Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin reviews the major discoveries, including more than 1.7 tons of enriched uranium. (I have soap in my bathroom too and there’s hell a lot of nitrogen in the air. Wanna accuse me of converting my soap into nitro-glycerine? Frankly, to still argue that there’s WMD is as good as Comical Ali saying that there are no Americans in Baghdad when one can see American tanks rumbling behind him on the screen as he said so. I have just lost a lot of respect for Joseph Farah.)

– that ‘Flip-Flop’ Kerry said that science is under attack by right-wing ideologues and the Bush administration regime, citing their ‘rigid refusal to listen to what the Earth is trying to tell us’. Speaking at the dedication of a new brain research center at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, ‘Flip-Flop’ said attacks on science have resulted in ‘a shortsighted period in the American experience’ where ‘facts are ignored and obscured and distorted’. (Hey, leave Al Gore to this environment chatter, and go find a platform of your own, can ya? And talking about ignoring, obscuring and distorting facts, talk about how you end up inside Cambodia ordered by Nixon when he was still President-Elect, alright?)

– that small, mobile groups of youths hit Paris’ riot-shaken suburbs with waves of arson attacks, torching hundreds of cars, as unrest entered its second week and spread to other towns in France. In the eastern city of Dijon, teens apparently angered by a police crackdown on drug trafficking in their neighborhood set fire to five cars, said Paul Ronciere, the region’s top gover-min official. (It’s high time to put the army on the streets with orders to shoot to kill. These unbecoming youngsters ought to be taught a lesson in respecting law and order.)

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– that the rioting started Oct. 27, after youths were angered over the deaths of two teenagers – Bouna Traore, 15, and Zyed Benna, 17. They were electrocuted in a power substation where they hid, thinking police were chasing them. (Why do they run if they have committed no offence? These two bozos should get a ‘Natural Selection’ Award for getting eliminated by nature for their own stupidity.)

– that Nicolas Sarkozy, the French Interior Minister, pledged zero tolerance in the fight against urban violence as he visited a Paris suburb hit by five nights of rioting. In a sharp break from traditional French gover-min policies, he said that he would take a tough approach to the ‘hooligans…who make life impossible on our council estates’. (Shouldn’t that be the case already, the day before Monday, 31-10-2005?)

– that opponents of welfare cuts demonstrated against the proposed new German gover-min, which they fear will target social programs as it scrambles to plug a massive budget deficit. (And what welfare will they get when the country goes bankrupt? Oh, these losers don’t care even if it means their grandsons are paying for their welfare, right?)

– that these demonstrators converged on Berlin’s signature Brandenburg Gate with placards demanding politicians keep their ‘hands off wages and pensions’ and urging them to ‘fight unemployment, not the unemployed’. (The gover-min can’t do shit about unemployment if the unemployed makes no effort to become employed. So, be part of the unemployment fight by getting employed and stop thinking about welfare.)

– that John Howard’s Coward’s decision to go public on a specific terrorist threat may have been linked to reports of suspects filming potential targets in Melbourne. But the gover-min’s announcement that it would rush tough new anti-terrorism laws through Parliament may also have scared off the very people it was trying to catch, the opposition Labor Party suggested. (No wonder John Coward continued to win elections! His opponents are too kriffing dumb. Labour should by now figure out that the terrorists probably take this as the final obstacle before they go to hell ‘enter heaven’. Go look for a book called ‘Terrorists for Dummies’, alright? And by the way, when you finish the entire ‘For Dummies’ series, you will be the perfect dummy.)

– that Hugo Chavez threatened to share Venezuela’s U.S.-made F-16 fighters with Cuba and China, accusing the U.S. of making it difficult for his country to obtain spare parts for the aircraft. Chavez claimed the U.S. broke a contract to supply parts for Venezuela’s fleet of 21 F-16s and pressured other countries not to help maintain them. (Please do, Chavez. Maybe then we can have a countdown to see how fast you’ll end up joining Saddam.)

– that a ‘Palestinian’ cleric terrorist sympathiser from one of the most popular mosques in the Gaza Strip asked his congregation to pray for terrorist lea-duh Osama bin Laden and his deputy Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, explaining the global terror lea-duhs share the ‘Palestinian’ goals of destroying Israel and ending ‘American world domination’. “May Allah guard and bless Sheikh Shit Osama bin Laden and Sheikh Shit Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who are both leading the jihad against the Zionist entity and against American domination of the world. Pray for Sheikh Shit bin Laden and Sheikh Shit Zarqawi,” said Jamil Mutaweh, a lea-duh of the large Abu Dur Mosque in Khan Yunis. (And hopefully he has time to give thanks to his God when Israeli helicopters find this shithead on the receiving end of their weaponary too.)

– that the military wing of the Fatah party expressed solidarity with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s remarks to ‘wipe Israel off the map’, and is currently the only ‘Palestinian’ terror group to reject a cease fire being quietly negotiated by Egypt. “We express our full support and solidarity with the Iranian President in which he frankly called to erase Israel from the map of the world. We support the Iranian President’s position vis-à-vis this illusion that is the state of Israel and we say that with the help of Allah this illusion will disappear,” stated a pamphlet distributed in Gaza by the SS [Schutzstaffeln] Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades. (They can all stand together in hell.)

– that China reacted coolly to Japan’s Cabinet reshuffle, saying that it continued to value bilateral relations. Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Kong Quan declined to comment on the specific appointment of several hardliners to the new Japanese Cabinet, such as Mr Shinzo Abe who has vowed to continue visiting the controversial Yasukuni war shrine. (Just ignore the buggers and strengthen the economy and military to such a point that the Japanese will only be dumping more money to bankrupt its own economy and benefit the Americans.)

– that China has declared war on scams using mobile phone short messages that promise everything from fake cash prizes to sexual services and contract killings. The new campaign is an extension of a crackdown started last year on pornographic and subversive content and spam messages sent by mobile phones or through the Internet. The Ministry of Public Security would work with the Ministry of Information Industry and the China Banking Regulatory Commission to stamp out messages that dupe people into turning over personal account information and those that involve prostitution, gambling, contract murder, guns for sale, fake lotteries and more. (Too bad there isn’t a way to swindle the swindlers. That would be soooo poetic.)

– that in their quest for profits, Western companies are selling press-muzzling equipment to China, censoring their search engines or blog tools and even passing on information that may help reveal the identity of journalists critical of Beijing, media freedom groups have said. These companies, including French Group Thales, and US companies Cisco and Yahoo!, are being accused of looking the other way while their gover-mins are increasingly critical of curbs to freedom in China. (Freedom without responsibility is not freedom. Would these whining gover-mins be happy if some Chinese are spreading a message of hate against them using their blogs, and then a massive riot breaks out in China attacking one of their embassies?)

– that Japan’s new Foreign Minister Taro Aso Arsehole, who described his country’s ties with Washington as the world’s most important bilateral relationship, has made it clear that Tokyo’s ties with Asia are but a function of that link. In remarks made on TV, Arsehole virtually certified the perception that Japan under Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi, and probably after him, regards its links with Asia as of clearly lesser importance. (Is this even news? Wasn’t Japanese policies after the Meiji Restoration ‘to leave Asia for Europe’ or something to that effect? The Japanese have always been the most ‘un-Asian’ among Asians. And anyone who falls for that ‘Asian values’ bullshit probably heard about that crap during the Japanese occupation.)

– that Japan should exhaust all other options before allowing a woman to ascend its imperial throne, including reviving pre-war princely houses and the practice of royal concubines, said a cousin of Japan’s Emperor Akihito. An essay in a private newsletter by the 59-year-old Prince Tomohito suggested reviving former princely houses – which were abolished after World War II – to allow their male members to be eligible to succeed the throne, and also bringing back concubines to increase the chances of producing a male heir. (Don’t bother and let the Imperial house die. It’s the price it needs to pay for Hirohito’s and his predecessors’ numerous wars of aggression against Japan’s neighbours. After all, Hirohito did not pay with his life for his crimes against humanity.)

– that Chen Shui-bian has apologised to the public as a corruption scandal involving his longtime confidant threatens to hurt his political party in upcoming islandwide elections. The DPP also expelled Mr Chen Che-nan, the man at the centre of the scandal. (It’s high time the Taiwanese people see Chen and his party for what they really are and give them the boot in all future elections.)

– that Taiwanese authorities have threatened to revoke the licence of TVBS Cable News, which has attacked corruption scandals relentlessly in a daily prime-time talk show, on the grounds that the station’s foreign ownership exceeds the legal limit. Taiwanese law sets a 50% limit on foreign ownership of TV stations, and media ownership by mainland Chinese is especially sensitive. TVB Super Channel, or TVBS, says it is 47% owned by TVB – a television group based in Hong Kong. TVBS says the majority of its shares are Taiwanese-owned. (If TVBS was exposing the scandals of the opposition, will it get citations and medals for its ‘patriotic’ action?)

– that Chen Shui-bian pledged that none of Taiwan’s television outlets would be closed during his tenure. “I will not shut down any television stations during my term in office,” Chen said. Chen’s comments came after officials threatened to shut down TVB Super Channel (TVBS) for breaching laws governing foreign ownership of media outlets. TVBS has been under fire after it exposed details of a corruption probe into gover-min officials. (I suppose if TVBS is forced to close on its own accord, then Chen technically didn’t close it.)

– that 2 decommissioned Kidd-class U.S. destroyers purchased by Taiwan have departed for the island and will arrive next month, a television station reported. A 600-member Taiwanese crew set sail with the warships Keelung and Suao from Port Charleston, South Carolina, CTI cable station reported. Taiwan purchased four of the 8,000-tonne guided-missile ships equipped with Harpoon missiles, five-inch guns and anti-air warfare systems in 2001 for US$800 million. (No one pays a better price than Taiwan for scrap.)

– that KMT lea-duh Ma Ying-jeou says that the island’s reunification with mainland China would not be possible until Beijing reassesses its 1989 bloody crackdown on protests in Tiananmen Square. China has called the non-violent demonstrations a ‘counter-revolutionary riot’. Hundreds of protesters are believed to have been killed when military tanks rolled into Tiananmen Square to crush the June 3-4 student-led rally. (There’s much reassessment necessary in China. For e.g. The Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution.)

– that Vietnam described as a ‘historic fact’ a U.S. report that false intelligence given to the White House in 1964 led to the first major escalation of the Vietnam War. A U.S. historian has said that officials of the U.S. National Security Agency had provided erroneous intelligence to the White House about a clash between U.S. and North Vietnamese ships. Reacting to the report, Vietnamese Foreign Ministry spokesman Le Dung said: “Everybody knows that the Tonkin Gulf event in 1964 was created by the then-U.S. administration, using it as a reason to extend the war to the whole territory of Vietnam. This is a historic fact.” (Just wondering if the same things will be said about the ‘intelligence’ provided to the White House about Iraq before the war in 2003.)

– that many ethnic Chinese Indonesians have received anonymous text messages threatening them with brutal murders and rapes after the Hari Raya Aidilfitri holidays, raising fears of another major racial riot in the capital. President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono expressed ‘deep concern’ over the messages sent from unregistered cellular pre-paid numbers and ordered security bodies to investigate. (And will any culprits be found or it’s just another of those investigations that is the equivalent of catching smoke?)

– that in the lengthy, vulgar text message, the Chinese Indonesians are accused of being ‘robbers of Indonesians’ money’ and ‘the number one enemies of the Muslims’. “The fuel prices went up because of the Chinese,” said part of the message, which blames the Chinese for the people’s suffering. It goes on to threaten the Chinese with death and rape after the Aidilfitri holidays and closes with ‘Allahu Akbar’, the Arabic phrase for ‘God is Great’. (Would have been more apt to close it with ‘Shaitan Akbar’, you blasted shitheads. And to look for the real ‘robbers of Indonesians’ money’, look no further than some of your very own Pribumi politicians, or your very own mouth frothing, rabis infected f*ckwits screaming religious murder.)

– that Malaysia’s gover-min has been accused of failing to act on evidence that licensed CD factories are producing pirated music, films and software. The country’s recording industry says pirated discs from 12 of the 44 factories licensed by the gover-min have been exported abroad. The suspect plants continue to operate despite complaints while illegal plants have been shut down, the industry says. (Soon, even our last source of pirated CDs in Johor Bahru will dry up.)

– that Malaysia is thought to be the world’s largest exporter of pirated discs. Pirated discs produced in Malaysia have been found across Europe, Asia, Latin America and, most recently, in South Africa. (The Chinese are smarter. They don’t make pirated CDs anymore. They just upload images to the net.)

Singapore This Week

– that a sordid picture of the sex trade in Batam – fuelled mainly by Singaporeans – has emerged from a recent survey of prostitutes working there. Some 43% of 733 women interviewed by a Batam-based NGO said they were forced into the trade or made to work under false pretences, many when they were in their mid-teens. More than nine in 10 came from other parts of Indonesia, mainly villages in East, Central and West Java. Many came to Batam on promises of well-paying jobs. Instead, they ended up with unwanted pregnancies and disease, exploited but afraid to leave. (Well, the Tali-PAP’s Machiavellian policy of placing ‘necessity above good’ have given us casinos. Perhaps it won’t be long they decide that they need to stem the outflow of money by setting up a few more Geylangs, say, one in the north and another in the west, just like NSmen get Bedok Fitness Conditioning Centre [FCC] in the East.)

– that in a letter from LOH CHOW KUANG, the PTC’s Secretary, in reply to the letter ‘Are bus operators taking commuters for a ride?’ it was mentioned that: “In practice, most commuters do not travel from one terminal to another. While the average one-way distance of trunk bus services is about 18km, the average travelling distance of bus passengers is only about one third of this.” (If that is the case, why not then do away with the stage-based fare system and implement a single fare system which can be based on adding the top fare and starting fare divided by two? Not only will it do away with the fare cheat problem, the bus companies can also reduce the number of validators needed per bus.)

– that ex-Regent Goh the index on International ranking on press freedom at face value, noted it was ‘a subjective measure computed through the prism of Western liberals’, pulled together from feedback mainly from 14 freedom of expression groups and 130 press correspondents. (Well, so who can say that rankings on how well Singapore is doing in certain aspects, e.g. corruption, economic freedom etc, which the Tali-PAP often used as evidence on how well it is running this country aren’t also ‘a subjective measure computed through the prism of certain blah blah blah’ har?)

– that even though there’s a number on the Ez-Link Itchy-Link card, it is unable to be used for stopping unauthorised usage if the card is lost. (The number is there for ‘bai swee’ – decorative purposes – one mah.)

– that an employer, SYN MEI LAN gave her maid all Sundays off, and even off-days on certain public holidays. She has also taken her maid along with the family on two trips to Malaysia and gave the maid a bonus of one month every 2 years. However, she was told that she is ‘spoiling the market’. (Well done, Ms Syn! Singapore remains in the good graces of God because there are people like you!! Those who tells Ms Syn that clearly don’t deserve a maid. What gives the losers the right to criticise Ms Syn simply because she’s outdoing them in treating her maid like a proper human being and not a slave? And what really is the ‘market’ huh? Taking erotic photos of one’s maids? F*cking them when the wife is away? Beating them and humiliating them in public? Make them sleep in the open on the floor? Some losers are just sooooo shameless.)

– that a CHIA HERN KENG wrote that ‘Laws shouldn’t be too far off global standards’ to the Stooge Times Forum page. He cited examples like a shoplifter who was jailed for 11 years, and a man who punched a lawyer in front of the judge sentence to 6 years. He argued that ‘the idea of law enforcement as a deterrence against crime also implies that it is meant to be corrective. Will putting a man to death do anything to correct his erroneous ways than, say, 15 years’ imprisonment?’ and ‘No human being is perfect in every way. Offences like fisticuffs can be committed by anyone out of impulse or provocation of the moment. There is such a thing called sudden ‘loss of self-control’. There is no need to be overly harsh in punishing such offenders.’ (I am all in for making the punishment fit the crime. However, how does one deal with a repeated shoplifter? Does Chia knows if the shoplifter was a repeated offender, or a first time offender? Or how does one know that the person who hammered the lawyer didn’t have a track record of violence? Personally, I have a track record of smashing things when I gets mad, can I argue on the grounds of sudden ‘loss of self-control’ when I one day decided to do some geographical adjustments to your face and give you an unsolicited dental operation?)

– that plans to provide commuters with real-time information on bus arrivals have flopped at least twice, but that is not stopping SBS Transit from trying again. The transport operator is looking for a system that can give its passengers current bus arrival and departure times, as well as information on bus routes, via the Internet, cellphone, personal digital assistant (PDA) and other channels, a spokesman said. (The first time they tried that, they lost 100 million. Then the LTA spent another 40.3 million on it. Please, stop this nonsense, and instead work on giving something more useful to commuters than this money wasting crap.)

– that the LTA state that average travel speeds on the northbound CTE have improved and now fall within the optimal range of 45-65kmh in one of its reply to the Stooge Times Forum on Oct 31. A reader, ROLAND KING, shatters that illusion by pointing out that ‘There is a daily tailback of cars waiting to exit the CTE onto the PIE before the new gantry; only after that does traffic on the CTE start to speed up.’ In fact, according the Mr King, an unscientifically timing of his journey along the 4km stretch prior to the new gantry on each workday in the last two weeks got him an average of seven minutes, which equates to 34kmh. (In reality, even without the gantry, traffic seems to pick up after the exit at Ang Mo Kio Avenue 1 too. I am surprised that no one who used that stretch of the CTE had mentioned this in their letters to the Stooge Time Forum. In fact, it is common that traffic slows down significantly before all ERP gantries.)

– that some clowns argued that it is not necessary to hang Nguyen Tuong Van, the Vietnamese Australian caught for trafficking heroin through Singapore because he did not intend the drugs to be sold here. They argue that ‘in the interest of Singapore’s relation with Australia – or the West, or the rest of the so-called ‘civilised world’, Singapore can either deport the guy or jail him for certain long period. (Will these jokers said a rapist shouldn’t be caned too simply because he didn’t rape their mothers, wives and sisters?)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that ‘genius’ LOW KIM SONG, frustrated at having missed winning the lottery simply because there was no time to place a bet, wrote to TODAY saying that ‘Singapore Pools has tried to offer better service to its customers. It could go further by providing alternative ways to place bets. Perhaps it could consider having legalised Internet betting, or allowing bets to be placed through the AXS stations.’ (How about GIRO deduction for your weekly ticket too? Charge to your credit card perhaps? How about allowing you to use your Itchy-Link card too? 命里有时终须有，命里无时莫强求。)

– that another ‘genius’ ANDREW LEE complained to the Stooge Times Forum that a cabby demanded that he pays the ERP charges if he wants to alight outside YMCA at No. 1 Orchard Road and when he refused, the cabby stopped 10 meters away at a junction near YMCA instead. The reason being that the cabby wanted to turn towards Selegie Road to avoid paying the ERP. Andrew thinks it is unfair that he pays for the ERP when he’s not going entering the Orchard area. (For your information, Andrew Lee, people alighting at the IBM Towers also pays the ERP despite having alighted before the ERP gantry. So, how’s your situation at YMCA different, in this case? Have a heart for the poor cabby lah. You wanna say people got money to pay high installments but don’t want to pay ERP, then why you got money to take cab don’t want to pay ERP also wor? Seems like 恶人先告状 – ‘the person in wrong sue first’ – is a very common place thingie in Singapore leh.)

– that a BAN LEONG, who is in Massachusetts, wrote a reply to ANDREW LEE on the Stooge Times Forum. One part of the reply reads: “This is not an example of bad service. It is an example of a demanding consumer who refuses to pay a fair price for service. Taxi drivers are having a hard time earning a living on our streets given the current glut of taxis. I hope that commuters can be a little more considerate and not be so self-centred and demanding. It seems to me that by identifying the taxi, Mr Lee is suggesting that Comfort should take action against the driver. I believe that no action is necessary. In fact, I would suggest that a response from the company is not required.” (It is a good thing to know that there are still reasonable people out there in the world who still got their heads screwed on tightly to their necks. The only response necessary from Comfort, and also the rest of the cab companies, is simply to add YMCA along with IBM Towers as a place where ERP charges are to be paid. This is to deal with those unreasonably calculative people.)

– that actor Bruce Willis wanted to serve his country as far back as the Gulf War. His friends laughed at him, telling him he was too old. So the star of ‘Die Hard’, ‘The Sixth Sense’, ‘Hostage’ and dozens of other movies, did the next best thing. He traveled to Iraq with his band, the Accelerators, to entertain troops with the USO. He is also planning to join returning troops at Fort Lewis in Washington state Nov. 5. (What a hero! IIRC, this is the same Bruce Willis who didn’t dare take a flight after 9-11, right? Or maybe I have mistaken you for a Puss Willie?)

– that the one thing that will invite the wrath of all other than teaching people to do the wrong things, is to give yourself the justification for not doing the right things. For e.g. You can turn a blind eye to a pregnant woman standing in front of you and not give your seat and tell yourself ‘Well, I paid too, and thus I don’t have an obligation to give up my seat./’ and probably no one can force you to, except to give you the dirty look. Or you can tell yourself, ‘There is no big deal using handicapped toilets.’ and all the handicapped person can do is scold you. But if you actually write a stupid letter to the press or post it on your own kriffing blog, then you are a freaking dumb idiot. (If that doesn’t make any sense to you, here’s an analogy: I found your wallet with $10,000 in it and I justify not returning it to you because I have a $10,000 debt. You probably will find it hard to be sympathetic to my plight. Or if I take that same $10,000 and give it to say, a charity for cancer patients, because I felt that those people needed it more than you, you will probably skin me alive too. It sometimes makes me freaking wonder what goes on in the brains of some, like xiasuay, for e.g.)

– that xiasuay remains unrepentant over her views on toilets for the handicapped.She defended her right to speak her mind: “There are a million views out there. Why do they want to change my one view to fit theirs?” (Look, not every million views out there get thousands of audience a day, geddit? Xiasuay should be reminded that she has ‘celebrity’ status. And guess what? Hitler would just be another cranky old kook if he has no audience.)

– that the best way to get back at the public transport companies for over-charging you is to buy their shares. (So, even when you aren’t over-charged, a little wee bit of that money comes back to you in the form of dividends every time someone else is overcharged and it went un-noticed.)

– that using the same principle, you should get the shares of those companies which will be investing in the casinos too, once the gover-min announce which of them will be running our casinos. (So, every time an gambling addict f*cks himself up in the casinos, you get a bit of that money he lost. In the event you ended up getting robbed by such an idiot – without getting killed – you can at least console yourself that the dividends you get from the casino companies will be paying for part of your damages. And if you never get robbed, then at least the idiots who end up ‘pok-kai’ will contribute a little to your own prosperity.)

– that Sony BMG, the record company part of the multinational corporation that makes laptops, TVs, movies and many other things, is in trouble this week thanks to a copy protection scheme it has used on a number of its CDs. The software, called Extended Copy Protection or XCP, hides itself on your hard drive using techniques normally reserved for viruses, worms and trojans, which use similar ‘rootkits’ to evade detection. And if you notice it is there and try to remove it you may stop your computer recognising its CD drive. (To install something onto my PC and then make it hard to remove is just plain rude. It is like a guest refusing to leave after being invited in, and above that, starts taking over a part of my home, and at his own liberty, inspect everything in the house.)

– thta family groups and educators in Queensland, Australia, who breathed a sigh of relief when a teacher who was discovered moonlighting at a brothel was dismissed and de-certified, are shocked to learn that education officials instead helped the woman change her identity and reassigned her to a new school. And all parties are shocked at reports the woman is still working as a prostitute. (The only to ‘get rid’ of her maybe to just set up a Institute of Prostitution, so she can both be a prostitute and teach at the same time. Like real.)

– that Jay Chou Chow [i.e. Stink in Hokkien] is using his song writing skills to deal with the paparazzi. In ‘November’s Chopin’, has written a song for them titled Si Mian Chu Ge. At a press conference to launch the album, he said: “This song is not about fruits but about a particular magazine. I hope they won’t get angry when they hear it.” He was presumably referring to Next magazine, which is a sister publication of tabloid Apple Daily. In August, Stink had apologised to the public for pointing his middle finger at a Next Magazine reporter. (Apple Daily definitely won’t get angry. They will just redouble their efforts to ensure you get all the ‘popularity’ Stink needs. Especially the negative ones. And I doubt Stink gives a flying damn as long as his album sells in spite of the negative popularity. Just like xiasuay wouldn’t give a damn what the world thinks about the pink shits she sprouts on her blog.)

– that at one point, Albert Einstein resorted to collecting cigarette butts from the streets to circumvent his doctor’s effort to stop him from smoking. (Well, obviously God didn’t play dice with Einstein’s life either. God ensured that Einstein wouldn’t miss the date He would have him recalled.)

– that a SHERANN TANG wrote a letter of complaint to Voices on Today that one of her friends was rejected entry on Ladies Night at Double O Bar on the grounds that she’s a ‘butch’. The reason being that she was dressed casually in jeans and a short-sleeve shirt. (Even a ‘butch’ is still a lady. Not to mention that, won’t ‘butches’ be hanging out in a lesbian bar instead? Abd whatever the hell defines a lady wearing jeans and short sleeves a ‘butch’? I think a lot of ladies in that kind of attire will be thoroughly offended.)

– that a few day later, ‘genius’ JANICE LEE wrote the following in her reply: “If a guest intends to attend a function at a club, it is only right that he or she abides by the policies set by the organisation. Since her friend should have been aware that Ladies’ Night is obviously a gimmick to promote heterosexual culture, she should not have bothered to be present, unless she is prepared to be chatted up by male patrons. So it’s really a non-issue. Don’t like the rules and policy, move on to the other 101 watering holes in the vicinity. Want the free drinks? Then play by the rules.” (Imagine this that one day Janice Lee comes upon a pub, and then she’s rejected for her looks! Would she not scream discrimination? If she has enough neurons to make a synapse, she would have realised that the matter is not about rules of the club, but a matter of discrimination! Because if it has been the rules then wouldn’t it be sufficient to say, “I am sorry the rules of Double O for Ladies Night is to be in a dress.” Janice Lee and Wendy Cheng aka xiasuay can team up and be Singapore’s ‘Moronic Blogging Twins’.)

– that a Hong Kong court sentenced a man to 3 months in prison in what is believed to be the first jailing for sharing movie files over the popular online BitTorrent network. In a stark warning to online file sharers worldwide, Chan Nai-ming, 38, an unemployed man who called himself ‘Big Crook’, was jailed for uploading three Hollywood movies onto the Web via the BitTorrent (BT) network. (He might have better luck doing it in mainland China.)

– that file-swapping company Grokster has agreed to stop distributing its peer-to-peer software and stop supporting its file-swapping network, following a $50 million legal settlement announced Monday with Hollywood studios and record labels. However, Morpheus parent StreamCast Networks, remains operating, and it has previously indicated that it would continue fighting the case in lower courts. Prior to this, the distributors of the WinMX software has taken their program offline and executives at Meta Machine, which distributes eDonkey, the most popular file-sharing program, have said they hope to reach a settlement with the music industry, and change their business into a licensed, industry-approved service. (Time to find a way to get access to the more ‘traditional’ P2P networks in China.)

– that fed-up actress, Kate Hudson, is leading the fightback against media obsession with ‘skinny’ stars. She is taking legal action against five publications for publishing pictures of her accompanied by articles suggesting that she was suffering from an eating disorder, which she denies. (‘Skinny’ Stars is so politically correct. The real term should be ‘Stick Insect’ and these stick insects are either an insult to their husbands, their fathers or society. It is as if one of those has ill-traeted them so much that they didn’t get enough to eat.)

– that Taiwanese boyband ‘Old Man Acting Like Boys’ Band F4 might be better off calling itself F3 from now on. Jerry Yen has struck out on his own, forming an artiste company to manage his projects. Website Sina.com reported that Yen and his staff were in Malaysia recently, where they gave away new namecards printed with the words StarJerry. That was the first sign that Yen has severed ties with F4 manager Angie Chai. (Didn’t it already say F4? Finish in 4 years. That’s what F4 means.)