– that Reuters reports that ‘a Brazilian man died when he tried to open what police believe was a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer’. The incident took place in a mechanical workshop on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro. The workshop, and several cars parked outside, were said to have been destroyed. Another man, who was in the workshop at the time, was rushed to hospital with severe burns. Police are said to have found several other explosive devices on the premises. (How stupid can one get? Good thing nature takes care of it by selectively removing them from the genepool.)

The World This Week

– that more than two-thirds of the U.S. Army National Guard’s 34 brigades are not combat ready, mostly because of equipment shortages that will cost up to $21 billion to correct, the top National Guard general said. Lt. Gen. H. Steven Blum spoke to a group defense reporters after Army officials, analysts and members of Congress disclosed that two-thirds of the active Army’s brigades are not ready for war. The budget won’t allow the military to complete the personnel training and equipment repairs and replacement that must be done when units return home after deploying to Iraq or Afghanistan, they say. (Is this the end of America’s ‘New World Order’ and the beginning of a new one heralding in the anti-Christ and the single world gover-min?)

– that Hillary Clinton called on Donald Rumsfool to resign, after accusing him of ‘presiding over a failed policy in Iraq’. Her spokesman confirmed that she said Warmonger Bush should accept Rumsfool’s resignation. (She should resign too. Didn’t she also support to go to war with Iraq?)

– that political appointees, CIA officers and former military personnel would not face prosecution for humiliating or degrading wartime prisoners under amendments to a war crimes law drafted by the Bush administration regime, the Washington Post reported. The amendments are part of the administration’s regime’s three-pronged response to a June 29 Supreme Court ruling that struck down as illegal and a violation of the Geneva Conventions the military tribunal system set up to try Guantanamo prisoners, the Post said. Only 10 specific categories of illegal acts against wartime detainees, including torture, murder, rape and hostage-taking, could be prosecuted under the amendments, it said. The list would not include the kinds of humiliating acts, like forced nakedness, used at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison which fall short of torture but are nevertheless barred by the Geneva Conventions as ‘outrages upon personal dignity’, it reported. (A crime becomes no crime by amending laws. That’s shameless.)

– that Biotechnology is of ‘fundamental importance’ to the UK economy, Tony B-liar said in San Francisco. B-liar later flew to Los Angeles, where he and the California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, are set to sidestep the Bush Administration Regime by laying the groundwork for a market in carbon dioxide emissions. (Biotechnology, or bio-weaponary?)

– that the U.S. and France agreed on a draft Security Council resolution that seeks a full halt to fighting in Lebanon, breaking a three-week impasse caused partly by Washington’s refusal to press Israel to end its offensive against Hezbollah. The resolution would chart a path toward a lasting peace with a cease-fire monitored by international troops. If passed, it would be the most significant international response to the crisis and raise hopes of ending combat that has killed at least 600 and left Lebanon in tatters. A Lebanese Foreign Minister official, Nouhad Mahmoud, said ‘no’ when asked if Beirut supported the text, presumably because the document does not call for immediate Israeli withdrawal from southern Lebanon. The text also ignored three Lebanese demands: setting a timetable for an Israeli withdrawal from the south, lifting Israel’s full blockade of Lebanon and putting the disputed Shebaa Farms area under U.N. control. (As usual, the UN has shown itself incapable of doing anything effective.)

– that Saudi Arabia, the world’s biggest crude exporter, believes oil should not be used as a weapon because it is the economic lifeline of Arab states, its foreign minister said. Asked whether the oil weapon should be used if the conflict between Israel and Hezbollah escalates, Prince Saud al-Faisal said: “The two issues should not be mixed because oil is among the economic capabilities that countries… need to meet their obligations toward their citizens. If we ignore this reality and start asking that the foundations of our life (be used) and enter into reckless adventures, the first to be hurt will be our citizens and no wise gover-min can accept this,” he told a news conference. (If Hezbollah isn’t Shi’ite, a different tune will be sung.)

– that Syria’s foreign minister offered to join Hezbollah and said his country’s army had standing orders to respond immediately to any Israeli attacks. “If you wish, I’m ready to be a soldier at the disposal of Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah,” Walid Mouallem told reporters on arrival in Lebanon in a symbolic gesture. Asked about concerns that the war in Lebanon could spill over into a regional war, Mouallem said: “Most welcome.” (Itching for a fight already after 24 years?)

– that an Arab delegation has told the UN Security Council that unless a draft resolution aimed at bringing peace to the Middle East is amended, the region could see yet more violence. Lebanon’s acting foreign minister Tarek Mitri told the 15-member body the resolution falls short of addressing Beirut’s legitimate needs. After four weeks of fighting, the UN has yet to pass any resolution and a planned vote on the draft has been delayed. (The UN has once again shown itself to be an utter joke.)

– that Taku Yamasaki, a former top aide to Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi. urged him not to visit the controversial Yasukuni war shrine, saying it would damage his legacy. Konkz-umi, who steps down in September, is reportedly considering visiting the shrine on August 15, the sensitive anniversary of Japan’s surrender in World War II. (Not likely Konkz-umi is going to give a damn anyway.)

– that Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi has signalled he will likely go to a controversial shrine on a sensitive war anniversary despite appeals from neighbouring countries and rising public opposition. Konkz-umi, who steps down next month, said he wanted to honour a campaign pledge he made before taking office in 2001 to visit the Yasukuni war shrine on August 15, the date of Japan’s surrender in World War II. “I think it should be kept,” Konkzumi said of his promise during a visit to Nagasaki to mark the anniversary of the U.S. atomic bomb that flattened the southern Japanese city. “Whatever your promise is, you know you should keep it, don’t you?” Koizumi told reporters who pressed him on whether he will go to Yasukuni shrine. (His successor will pick up the pieces and it’s got really nothing to do with him anyway.)

– that Taro Aso Arsehole plans to ask Yasukuni to surrender its religious status so that the gover-min can end the deification of war criminals there and resolve a row with neighbours, a newspaper and Kyodo news agency reported. Arsehole is expected to make the proposal in a policy speech marking his official candidacy in the race to succeed Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi, according to Mainichi Shimbun. This will turn the shrine into a state-run memorial and allow the gover-min to become involved in the issue without violating the constitutional separation of religion and state. Such a move could pave the way for removing the 14 Class A war criminals, including Hideki Tojo, from the list of those honoured at the shrine, Kyodo added. (Maybe they should consider redeveloping the land the shrine is on. Bwaghahaha…)

– that in a separate report, Kyodo said a 1944 document it had obtained showed Tojo himself had given secret orders that Yasukuni should honour only military personnel and civilian military employees killed in battle. The order, if followed, would have ruled out himself and other Class A war criminals. (They will find some other way to define what is meant by ‘killed in battle’ just to keep those shitheads in there.)

– that a new bar in eastern China is offering customers an unusual outlet for anger – by allowing them to use the staff as punching bags, state media said. In addition to getting a drink, customers at the ‘Rising Sun Anger Release Bar’ in Nanjing city are able to pay money to beat up staff, smash glasses, shout and scream, the China Daily said. (What kind of idiots work in this bar?)

– that Hong Kong’s legislature passed a new law giving authorities more power to tap phones and carry out other surveillance measures. After a four-day debate, the pro-democracy opposition boycotted the final vote in protest at the move, which critics say will curtail civil liberties. (You won’t see Warmonger Bush protesting that!)

– that Taiwan’s foreign minister James Huang visited the lea-duh of the Hezbollah guerrilla group in a controversial clandestine trip earlier this year, triggering concern from the U.S. and Israel, the foreign ministry has said. “Through the arrangement of friends, Minister Huang visited Hezbollah’s secretary-general Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah in April to promote ties,” foreign ministry spokesman Michel Lu told AFP. The trip touched off controversy here, with critics urging the ministry to be cautious in dealing with what Israel regards as a terrorist group. (They have gotten so desperate for friends that they no longer care who they are.)

– that signs of new oil and gas deposits have been discovered off Myanmar’s coast, the Myanmar Times newspaper reported, raising the prospect of further foreign investment in the military-run country. The newspaper quoted an official from the Myanmar Oil and Gas Enterprise (MOGE), who said that geologists from France and Myanmar had uncovered evidence of hydrocarbon deposits in deep water blocks off the western Arakan State. (It perhaps also raise the prospect of an American invasion.)

– that more than 100 Indonesian ‘fighters’ demonstrated their martial arts skills in West Kalimantan before heading abroad to attack countries that support Israel, said their lea-duh. The ‘fighters’, all from West Kalimantan, were members of the Gerakan Pemuda Islam Indonesia (Indonesian Muslim Youth Movement) led by Mr Suaib which is reportedly affiliated to Amsec – the Asean Muslim Youth Secretariat. At the event, Mr Suaib read out a statement which declared that the mission of the jihadis was to fight Israel and the U.S. “Our fighters will bomb various places and various vital installations overseas, in Israel and in any country that supports the aggression of Israel and the United States,” he added. (But not pick up arms and fight Israeli soldiers. Right. * Yawn *)

– that Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said he kept silence from replying to allegations by Mama-thir on several gover-min decisions because he wanted to avoid misunderstanding with Mama. Instead, he said, it was better for the issues raised by Mama-thir be answered by the relevant ministers as they were more knowledgeable in their respective portfolios. (Meaning: Your question is not even my level and you not up to my standard. So you aren’t even qualify to talk cock with me.)

– that Mama-thir says he plans to produce evidence of corruption against the current gover-min. It is the latest in a series of attacks by Mama-thir that some see as an attempt to undermine his hand-picked successor, Abdullah Badawi. Mama-thir promised not to interfere when he retired three years ago. (His promise expires the moment it leaves his mouth. And corruption must be something that never happened under his tenure.)

– that Abdullah’s son-in-law has sold his shares in a high-profile financial company after claims he had obtained them through nepotism, a report said. Khairy Jamaluddin, stung by Ma-mathir’s allegations, sold his entire stake in investment and stockbroking company ECM Libra Avenue, the Edge financial weekly reported. (Maybe giving some of his proceeds to Mama will make Mama happy enough to not make so much noise for awhile.)

– that Mama-thir is out to topple his successor Abdullah Ahmad Badawi as fears grow over divisions in the ruling party, reports said. Influential cabinet minister Nazri Abdul Aziz, citing information he had gleaned from Mahathir’s conversations with friends, said the ex-premier was working to unseat Abdullah, also president of the ruling dUMNO. (Wah seh.. must destroy the other person. Such deep enmity big hatred [深仇大恨], Go! Pak Lah! Go! Go do to Mama what Mama has done to his opponents!)

– that Malaysia has to turn to nuclear power as an alternative source of electricity for its rapidly growing economy, an official from a nuclear agency said. Noramly Muslim, the chairman of the Malaysian Nuclear Licensing Board, said Malaysia would need at least two nuclear reactors, Bernama news agency reported. He said nuclear energy was seen as the best alternative to depleting oil and gas, Malaysia’s main fuels for power generation. (Trying to pull another Iran on the world?)

– that Malaysia has robustly refuted a survey which says Kuala Lumpur is the city with the most deaths on its roads. Transport minister Chan Kong Choy says the study done in Hong Kong is inaccurate and misleading. This is the second time in as many months that Malaysia is refuting an international survey; the last dispute was over the Readers’ Digest ranking of Malaysians as among the rudest people in the world. The Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur has been cited as having the most dangerous roads among 20 global cities, according to the survey by Hong Kong’s transport department, which pointed out that 195 people are killed in road accidents in Kuala Lumpur per one million population. (Pity the man! His job is on the line!!)

– that Mr Chan said, “The criteria used here is how many deaths per one million population, which is usually not adopted by most countries in the world. The most commonly used benchmark is how many fatalities per 10,000 registered vehicles.” (In an alternate news, Wiki-wakiki is the country with the most people infected by AIDS yearly. The Health Minister of Wiki-wakiki has since protested. BakaBalik says the statistics of how many infections per million is usually not adopted by most countries in the world, and the most commonly used benchmark is how many infections per trillion condom used.)

Singapore This Week

– that a High Court judge has disqualified himself from a case involving SDP’s Chee Soon Juan and Chee Siok Chin. Their lawyer M Ravi said he and Justice Woo had a heated exchange in open court on a separate case. While Woo assured that the past incident is closed, he felt that justice must not only be done but be seen to be done. That is why he acceded to the request to disqualify himself. (They are leaving nothing for Chee Soon Juan to make noise about, isn’t it?)

– that both SBS Transit and SMRT have applied to the PTC to increase their bus and train fares. The application came just hours before the deadline. The proposals for the fare hikes, if accepted by the PTC, will be announced next month and will kick in by October. Fuel costs have been rising for the two big bus companies, by as much as over 40% just in the last year. (And what is done to look into using an alternate fuel source for their fleet?)

– that eating curry may boost the brain and stave off Alzheimer’s disease, according to the latest research. Scientists looked at the curry consumption of more than a thousand Asian people aged between 60 and 93 who were unaffected by Alzheimer’s. Their thinking ability was compared using a standard test called the Mini Mental State Examination. Participants who ate curry once or more in six months, or more than once a month, had better results than those who said they ‘never or rarely’ ate it. Dr Tze-Pin Ng, from the NUS who led the study, told New Scientist magazine: “What is remarkable is that apparently one needs only to consume curry once in a while for the better cogni- tive performance to be evidenced.” (Someone ought to inform Muthu Curry about this reserach.)

– that he suspects that curcumin, a constituent of the spice turmeric, is responsible for the effects. Turmeric is ground from the root of the Curcuma longa plant, a member of the ginger family that grows wild in the Himalayas. Curcumin is said to have antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer properties that are still being investigated. Previous research has suggested that it inhibits the build-up of amyloid plaques – harmful protein deposits – in the brains of people with Alzheimer’s. Dr Ng now wants to confirm his findings with a controlled clinical trial which would compare the effects of curcumin and an inactive placebo. (Probably whatever good curcumin confers, it is undone by the coconut milk, the chilli and all that oil in curry. In other words, your heart or blood pressure would go first before your brains.)

– that Singapore must remain open to global talent in its drive to stay ahead of competitors, said Wong Wua Kan Seng. And that is not the only reason why the island nation must welcome foreign talent. Singapore’s birth rate is falling and resident births would not be able to fill the gap, he added. The country had only 35,600 births last year, well short of the 60,000 needed each year. Total fertility rate is at a low of 1.24 and it has been below the replacement level of 2.1 since 1976, said Mr Wong, who is also chairman of the National Population Committee. (It’s the criteria determining who is a talent that is in question, geddit?)

– that Lim Boon Bway Heng told reporters at a separate event, “In Potong Pasir, you cannot have your cake and eat it. You’ve decided on Chiam See Tong, so he should solve your problems. You have rejected Sitoh, so don’t expect him therefore to continue serving you. For all he has done, you rejected him and you wanted Chiam See Tong. You’ve got a problem, then you go to Chiam See Tong.” (Well, can Potong Pasir residents be then exempted from GST, ERP, COE, and income taxes too? They can’t be accepting these craps while they have rejected Sitoh, right?)

– that Chiam rebutted a comment made by Lim Boon Bway Heng. Lim had said that as MP for Potong Pasir, Mr Chiam was responsible for repairing the damaged solar lights along a pathway in Potong Pasir constituency. Said Mr Chiam: “Mr Lim Boon Bway Heng should know that permission was granted to Mr Sitoh to build the solar lamps. Therefore, it is his duty to repair the lamps.” He added the issue would become redundant if the town council was allowed to construct the covered walkway. (Lim expects Chiam to pick up Sitoh’s shit? The SDA should go to Lim’s constituency and make a mess and then ask Lim to sort it out.)

– that Mabok Tongue accused Chiam See Tong of raising ‘petty, non-relevant issues’ instead of getting down to work to serve his Potong Pasir residents. Mabok made the comment in response to an ongoing dispute between Chiam and loser, Sitoh Yih Pin, over a set of damaged solar lights in the opposition ward. (Mabok, the Tali-PAP sore loser which Potong Pasir residents rejected in 1984 should jolly well just shut the f*ck up.)

– that Mabok said, “At this point in time, it is important for the elected representatives, whether it is Tali-PAP or the opposition, to get on with the job of serving their residents. The Tali-PAP MPs have already started work to draw up plans to fulfil the promises they made during the election. I think the opposition MPs should do likewise and stop playing games.” (If the SDA goes to Tampines, build a structure and then disavowed to having any responsibility to fix it when it is broken, what would you be saying when you are asked to fix it, Mabok?)

– that a key feature of the design of the Marina Bay integrated resort to be built by Las Vegas Sands – a 1ha sky garden that links three hotel towers – bears a striking resemblance to a development that is already being built in Abu Dhabi. Called The Gate District, the project with a view of the Gulf Sea has eight blocks, four of which are connected by a covered roof-top sky lobby. Like the Marina Bay Sands, the development consisting of apartments, a hotel, shops and offices is also slated to open in 2009. Alerted to the Abu Dhabi project by a reader, The Straits Times showed several people the photographs and some, like Master Victor Li of Li’s Feng Shui, were surprised at the similarities. Speaking in Mandarin, Master Li said: “So ours is not original, and its not even as good in fengshui principles. Their four blocks arranged in an arc is better than our three joss sticks.” (Why do I get the feeling that we’ve been conned?)

– that no review is planned to overcome the cab driver shortage. When asked where does that leave commuters who complain there is never a cab when they need one, Premier Taxis chairman Timothy Chua said, “Raise cab fares sharply. People will cry blue murder, but I think it will solve that problem once and for all.” (And f*ck you, Timothy Chua. The next time I see a Premier Cab, I’ll pass.)

– that taxi companies avoid cutting rental outright because it is difficult to raise it again without drawing protests. However, Smart Automobile, with the smallest fleet of 656 cabs, has broken the taboo. Its Toyota Crown now goes for $75 a day and its Skoda Superb for $88 – about 15% less than what others charge. (Go Smart Automobile, Go!)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that the European Union was born is the aftermath of the Suez War. (“Your revenge is Europe.” That was what then the German Chancellor said to the French.)

– that China has killed as many as 50,000 dogs in a gover-min-ordered campaign following the deaths of three local people from rabies, official media reported. The five-day massacre in Yunnan province’s Mouding county spared only military guard dogs and police canine units, the Shanghai Daily reported, citing local media. Dogs being walked were taken from their owners and beaten to death on the spot, it said. Other killing teams entered villages at night creating noise to get dogs barking, then homing in on their prey. (You would wish they would deal with corrupted officials the same way – Kill all the communists party members.)

– that a Montana man argued this week that his Fourth Amendment rights means that the U.S. gover-min was precluded from using evidence from his work computer against him in criminal proceedings. The man has been accused of viewing images of child po.nography from his work PC. The US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the PC belonged to the worker’s employers, and that rights of privacy do not in these circumstances extend to the work environment. (What a nut. Never view any form of pR0n on your office PC. Your employer reserve their right to peek into it and fire you when necessary.)

– that Paris Hilton says she is sick of boyfriends and is celibate. Hilton gained international fame when a former boyfriend posted a videotape of the couple having sex on the Internet denied leading a promiscuous lifestyle in an interview with the British edition of GQ magazine. “I’m not having sex for a year. … I’ll kiss, but nothing else,” says Hilton, who told the magazine she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime. (Right. And the Geylang prostitute says, “I am virgin.”)

– that Mel Gibson apologised to the Jewish community for anti-Semitic remarks he uttered while being arrested for drunken driving, and asked to meet Jewish lea-duhs to make amends. In his first confirmation of using anti-Jewish slurs first reported on the Internet, Gibson said in a statement that he had no excuses for what he had done. “There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark,” said Gibson, who has checked himself into an alcohol rehabilitation programme since the incident. “I want to apologise to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI (driving under the influence) charge,” he said. (There’s nothing to forgive. The Jews should thank Gibson for finally revealing what he has always felt about them. After all the Chinese has a saying – 酒后吐真言 – which simply means the words of a drunk is spoken from his heart. Thank you, Gibson. You are an assh*le.)

– that in a show of religious solidarity, Muslim and Jewish lea-duhs have also condemned the singer, who was brought up as a Catholic and is famous for peppering her concerts and videos with religious and sexual imagery. (That’s quite an achievement, Madonna. Unifying those who would otherwise normally disagree. You should go to the Middle-East and do something provocative and outrageous there to make the Muslims and the Jews kiss, make up and have peace. Then we can welcome Madonna, the Anti-Christ.)

– that Penelope Cruz is among those who say they have seen Tom Cruise’s baby daughter, Suri. Cruz, who dated Cruise from 2001 to 2004, declined to offer details of the meeting, but praised Suri as a special baby. (Imagine one day they suddenly say, “Actually it’s all a hoax. There is no baby.” Or, “an UFO took the baby away.” :D)

– that UEFA has announced a range of tougher sanctions for European football, including a five match ban for racist or insulting conduct and a two match ban for players who simulate being fouled. (Time to nail the likes of Shit-taly’s Grosso and Mutt-erazzi, and Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo.)

From Catherine Lim

Mother Nature, there’s a deep injustice
Which must be quickly redressed
Why do your raging floods and storms
Hit mostly the poor and oppressed?
Why do they spare the mansions
Where millionaires party and booze
The palace built with state money
The house to hold Imelda’s shoes?
Mother Nature, you abhor a vacuum
Shouldn’t you loath inequality too?
The next time you unleash a tsunami
Make straight for you know who!
(And Darth Grevious again says, ‘Seyla!’ There are those whose wealth is ill begotten, whose rewards are undeserved. Let Lady Gaia take it all, and leave them with the fate of the desolate!)