This is a translated excerpt of the Prime Minister’s Baby Lee’s National Day Rally speech (Mandarin):
We Asians pay great attention to filial piety This is a traditional virtue & we must maintain this. Although the government has a duty to look after the aged, and the government will try its best to look after the aged, but to the family members, it’s not only duty, it’s duty plus love. It’s not something the government can provide. The love of the family members, the warmth of the family cannot be replaced by nursing homes & hospitals.
Recently I had a chat with some nursing home operators & they told me that in principle this is correct. But some Singaporeans have not preserved this virtue. Some Singaporeans have abandoned their parents in the homes or hospitals. After they sent their parents to the homes sometimes they disappeared & even changed their addresses on their ICs. When the nursing home contacted them they said: “It’s not my business.” and said that even if the nursing homes were to drive the parents away, they would not mind.
This is something that causes great discomfort to us – a new social phenomenon – and we must deal with it. So the government is looking into how to be more effective in implementing the Maintenance of Parents Act so that the children will fulfill their duty. Besides building more community hospitals the government will look into other measures so it will facilitate people looking after the sick relatives at home. We will do our part. Our whole health care system will be effective but individuals must also carry out their duties
I am not sure whether this was also touched on in his English and Malay speech, but if it wasn’t then it would be really interesting why it is in Mandarin only. It implied that Chinese Singaporeans are the only ones who abandoned their parents in Old Folks Homes.
But I am not surprised if that is true. I have a distant relative who did just that to his own mother and after hearing the exact detail of the events leading to her predicament, I could only gnash my teeth in cold fury (恨得我咬牙切齿). Here’s a summary: One of her three sons, knowing that their mother doesn’t know English, conned her into signing a lawyer letter which bequeath all of their late-father’s estate to him alone, thereby cheating not just his own mother but also the inheritance of his other two brothers. When all of that is done, the mother was so completely devastated, she suffered from dementia. This scum then send her to a home. Failing to understand their mother’s predicament, since she had signed away what they felt is rightfully theirs, the other two sons felt no obligation to bring her home and all three of them left her there till she died a lonesome death. It was a situation as bad as that depicted in Jack Neo’s ‘Money No Enough 2’ except that the three brothers in that movie didn’t con their mother or just left her to die.
When my parents found out about it and went to visit her before she passed away, the old lady (an aunt of mine from the father side) could not recognise any of them. My only consolation was that these sub-human trash didn’t share my family name, and I promised myself that my clan will never forget the debt this family owed and if God is willing, one day I’ll settle this score with them… personally.
The Maintenance of Parents Act is thus an welcomed piece of legislation for me, even though it has came too late for my aunt. However, I felt that the act should not become a piece of legislation which empowers irresponsible parents and allows them to force their kids to maintain them. I can only say parents who have never been their for their children, such as compulsive gamblers or violent, abusive parents who left their children to fend for themselves at a young age, should only deserved what they had coming for them if their children abandons them. While I am not really encouraging an environment of vengeance, I felt no one should be subjected to the word and wrath of the law when they have already suffered long enough in their childhood.
That being said, I must also point out that while the Maintenance of Parents Act will serve as the stick to deal with those heartless beasts who abandoned their parents, there is no carrot for those who fulfill their duties without fail. Certainly, I would like the government gahmen to do more to help those who are fulfilling their duty.
However, I am not asking for handouts from the gahmen, but I would at the very least expect the gahmen to make it far easier for me to pay some of the costs. For e.g. I think it is prudent that everyone of us – especially those who are only child – to get health insurance in place for their aging parents. However, I can only use up to $800 (or was it $880?) from my CPF’s Medisave account to pay for each insurance bill. The rest I would have to foot out of my own pocket. All is fine as long as I remained gainfully employed, but I might have difficulties paying the difference if I am not. As such, I would seriously prefer to be able to pay the full amount from my CPF. Above which, allowing us to have more money would indirectly increase our spending power which would indirectly increase the GST collected by the gahmen, and thus giving it more money to finance any future ‘wealth sharing’ projects.
Is it too much to ask for the cap on Medisave payment for health insurance to be lifted, as some kind of ‘carrot’ for some of us who are doing our duty as children faithfully? I am not even asking for handouts. I am just asking that I be allowed to use this money which is rightfully mine, and it is not as if I am asking to use the CPF for hedonistic purposes.
Hi, i just like to voice my opinion on the issue as i personally can be consider a victim of such cases as well as there is no one to share the duty of caring for my old Grandma leaving to juggle everything by myself.. It should be a shared responsibilties to care for the our parents among siblings. Even being the only child does not necessarily mean he have to bear all the responsibilties as his ability is limited as individual. I personally have the greatest regret of my live as both my parents left me even before i can let them enjoy life.
I don’t understand how people can be so heartless to ignore the old folks like that after all its their own parents,regardless of how they were treated when they are young,it does not give them the excuses to abandon their parents.Currently,i have to undertake the responsibility of taking care of my Grandmother when his son who is living with her don’t care about her,throughout her stay in the hospital,he only visited her two times with motive,but when she was discharge yesterday,he did not even go home. These inhumane people need to be punish in some ways or other.
Although not being filial is not a crime but its a sin. Why not we use some form of legislation to further punish them for not caring for their own parents by impoing additional penalties beside the maintenance to be given..?
I also find in very disturbing for this but mines even worst I’ve 5 sibling and just what they are mostly retired and I’m at 43 trying to do balacing act here your have other who are retired who cannot affort to look after 1 (ONE) mother and she and her husband have a 6,000 sqft Property (Landed) intention kept for the children benefits and yet the children cannot even make wise decision to fork out for a Mid or maid with Nursing experiences. Btw, the 1st earned $11k, 2nd abt $5k, 3rd abt $5k and business man, 4th – $5k but also take note these are mature and educated people yet cannot make a Simple 1.2.3 decision versus what a parent have left behind SGD$3.5 million. What your take my fellow Singaporean, I seek your assistance for once and to the Singapore Government good or bad HELP me give these brother and sister of mines a Kick in the Ass. Thanks
this legislation is different from let say…laws to fine litterers or eating in mrt station. unlike those ordinary offenses, the parental maintenance act has to deal with far more complex issues which may involve unraveling decades of historical animosities between parents and children. i do not believe hired staff or the governing bodies will give a hoot about who is right or wrong simply because it is impossible to take side over hearsay. some of these family feuds or problems( result in neglect) are so complicated it may incur professional costs( psychiatric assessment, lawyers, witnesses etc) and who is to bear all these costs? surely not the government?
let’s be frank here. the government involvement or interference in family affairs is purely economics and not because they care. face with an impending aging population, our government has figure that the best way to save their coffers for other purposes such as overseas investment or conquests etc is to shift the financial responsibility to children. after all, this government is known to fight welfarism at all cost. so it preaches self reliant( in other words you are responsible for your own fate and in that case, why are they interfering?)
well, the government is interfering with commoners because commoners are having money woes that’s why!!
on the surface, being responsible for one well being and family is fine but the reality is, you need a lot of money to live decently( food, housing,medical care,education etc), to enjoy some semblance of life and yes, all that and still have to
take care of your loved ones.
now ask yourself this: for the last 50 years of development, how many can say they have earned a decent living to cover basic expenses( from your first pair of nike shoes to raising your own family etc) including having the foresight of factoring the rising costs of parental care?
mr government, you created good paying jobs for only a few lucky ones and the rest of the lesser mortals are struggling to make ends meet. how do you expect this group of people to afford parental care without losing their own sanity and right to survive( and his.her immediate family interests) in your ruthless capitalist world?
i can go on and on with so many other far more complex family situation which cannot be resolved through legislation or our government interference in family affairs.
in a nutshell, if the government is not prepared to dish out dough or spend money to help these families , i think it is better they not interfere. now if they are prepared to spend that kind of money, why not, like other developed countries, provide welfare to its elderly citizens?
family problems are best left to the laws of nature and the best way to build healthy relationship is to inculcate the right values when they are young.
but most of all, pay everyone fairly and decently so they can earn enough to take care of themselves when they grow old – not be dependent on their children!!!
now if we ALL can EARN enough to take care of ourselves ( till death) because YOU, mr government, had created WELL PAYING jobs FOR ALL( not just for a few), we would have lesser problems with parental neglect now would we not?
no doubt it is a sad state when the government has to use legislation to “force” people to be filial, but at least better than leaving it on its own.
It’s like a parallel to the giving up of seats on mrt…
.-= chillycraps´s last blog ..job seeker = lab rat =-.
Honestly, this is a pathetic situation which I’ve more-or-less anticipated. Since the era of Goh, S’pore has been moving towards a “Yuppies” society where “ang-mo” world is the “model” for our new generation S’pore. What can I say when the old school text that teaches us the basic moral de ethic has been removed because it has “no econmical value” (especially the chinese teaching).
What agitated me most is that the government has no patience for social policies that are long and slow, though, but more effective. In return, when they can make S’poreans to do something, they go for a quick way out – implement it as LAW!!!!
I’m honestly tired about the “moni$ter” in S’pore, they are no longer like our 1st generation’s politicians where I can at least still see their passion for building a better S’pore and not just taking it as a “Career” and do it it for $$$$.
I can still remember when older ideologies had slowly been removed in Goh’s era, someone once told me that he hope those “moni$ter” can face their “fruit” of being abandon by their children one day when they retired, only than they will know being a politician or a minister is not about talking $$$$ and managing S’pore like a MNC BUT governing a S’pore like a country where intangible things must also be considered as a whole when making any law or policies.
Today, although such event did not happened to any of the ex-moni$ter, however, it happened to commoner unfortunately. Not blaming Goh’s dynasty, I think even today’s chief policies maker is making the same mistake too – Governing S’pore like managing a NMC where nothing is true except tangible benefits.
The rally says it but what are they going to do about it? Same old shit but from different era – Make it as a law and force the rest to follow – Yeah, f**k them alright, with all those dumb-ass that only know how to read the law literary without the capability of understanding the rationale, it can only make things worse