Citizen A: Wah piang! Today is day 15 since Mas Selamat’s Selamat Hari “YAYA*”… They still haven’t caught him yet! That DPM Wong ar, can’t Sing, can’t guard terrorist, can’t resign is it?!
Citizen B: What is Selamat Hari Yaya*?
Citizen A: The happy day Mas escaped lor. Now he can go and yaya about this day to his buddies in JI and tell them: “You all know why is this my big day or not? Because ‘limp peh*’ escaped, understand?!”
* Yaya – local slang for ‘show off’.
* lim peh – local slang for ‘I, your father’. Pun intended that’s why it’s spelt limp peh in this case.
Commuter A: Wah seh. MRT was fined $400,000. Serves them right for that 7 hours breakdown.
Commuter B: Bah! This gahmen do nothing to improve the situation and earn $400,000 more. This has no benefit to us and impacts SMRT’s bottom line. Gives that bloodsucking SMRT more excuse to raise our fares again. Should have just make SMRT give us free ride for one day. At least we, the real victims, are compensated!
Commuter C: Come on! How many trips you can make in a day? Should simply just ban their CEO and directors from getting a bonus this year. That won’t hurt SMRT’s bottom line at all!. Only then they will wake up their ideas*!
* Wake up their ideas – local slang for ‘buck up’.
Ah Beng: Bro, do you know Singapore has very specialised 4-passenger only bus in the CBD now?
Ah Seng: Is it? Why I didn’t know? Where to find them?
Ah Beng: Aiyoh!! You go to Taxi stand you will see all the special bus queue there. Now taxi cannot suka-suka* drop and pick up passenger anywhere in CBD you know?
* suka-suka – local slang for anyhow.
Handicapped Man: Driver, can drop me at the building in front?
Taxi Driver: Encik! Now Taxi cannot drop people anyhow, anywhere. Taxi stand only lah! Fine $100 plus 3 demerits, ok?
Handicapped Man: Have mercy. It’s raining you don’t expect me to roll my wheelchair back from the taxi stand back here do you? There’s no shelter!
Taxi Driver: Sorry man. Even if you pay my fine also cannot. You tell the kam lan* LTA people who come up with this kam lan rule lor.
* kam lan – local slang for stupid, stupidity or immense idiocy.
With the Top Terrorist escaped, WKS is not at fault and will not be responsibled, he is also protected and nobody can touch him. As for the fine on SMRT – is like taking $$$ out from the left pocket and put them back to the right. Handicapped man if you are taking a taxi and when its rains good luck to you. Ceng who Bo Chap – Govt. don’t care.
SanNiang> LOL… 没有故事也可以自己篇出来。
cc> I think so… since it’s got something to do with the lan word. But it’s different from gam lan, which means fellatio.
Onlooker> glad you liked the jokes.
Bobo> Now he can change his name to Yahya Kastari.
heh heh the first one is funny… 😛
ROFL very apt except the last one 🙂
kam lan is not vulgarity meh?
小城故事多. ^_^