Hopeless Users (II)

‘The stupid deserves no more kindness than a lightsabre through the mid-section.’ – Darth Grievous.


Well, this came through the mails to one of the users.

Exerpt:

From: Liao, Danai (name changed to protect the innocent)
Sent: 09.04.2008 12:45 GMT
To: * CopperToe users mailing list *
Subject: New CopperToe official release – 5.1.26.00 (name of product changed)

Dear Users,

Tomorrow night we are releasing the next official version of CopperToe: 5.1.26.00 Please see the release notes here: [link removed]

To use the latest version, simply close down CopperToe and restart it – the updated version will be automatically downloaded to your PC.

As usual, start CopperToe by going to the CopperToe Application Launcher [link removed] and clicking on Official. You can also click on your CopperToe Official release icon or add a link on your Global Intranet homepage by adding the CopperToe Application Launcher button – see the instructions at the bottom of this email for details.

Remote users: Please do not use the new mechanism. It will work fine, but you will suffer a performance penalty due to querying over the network. A Citrix solution is currently being put together and will be available for you shortly.

Advanced users: The Experimental version is also available via the launch page. If you only see Official then please let us know and we will add the necessary permission for you.

If you have any problems installing or running the new version, please contact [name of mailing group removed]

Thanks

Danai

The email was clear and concise isn’t it? And the instructions were pretty straight forward. But it started going downhill after one user forwarded this to another who wasn’t in the mailing list. And I couldn’t figure why it was forwarded to the moron anyway!!

Exerpt:

From: Daffy Duck (name changed to protect the stupid)
Sent: 10.04.2008 05:36:43 GMT
To: Desktop and Server Support
Subject: New CopperToe official release – 5.1.26.00

can you find out how we get the new release – 5.1.26.00 please…

Doh! Which part of the above mail you do not understand? But without being rude, I reiterated from the email the instructions on how to get this, even though the mail is sent to to the wrong guys – us – in the first place!

* ptui * I wish I could have just said, “This is not applicable to you since you are not a CopperToe user.” But if I did, I would have lost my job.

And guess what I get for being a nice guy? The proverbial ‘lightning strike for showing kindness’ [好心遭雷劈] and going the extra mile! I should have either just ignore the dumb mail of the blind (or stupid) dog barking up the wrong tree!!

Exerpt:

From: Daffy Duck
Sent: 10.04.2008 06:07:38
To: Desktop and Server Support
Subject: New CopperToe official release – 5.1.26.00

it still downloads the old release?? obviously i checked before i asked….

Look here, genius! Which part of ‘Tomorrow night we are releasing…’ do you not understand? Did I even in my mail said you should try it out right away, you fumb duck?!

Is it not also blasted obvious that since the mail was sent on 09.04.2008 and from someone in Europe, they would be referring to their own time zone or else the deployment would be in the middle of office hours when everyone needs it on their part of the world. In other words, it will be done something in the evening of 10.04.2008 in Europe (i.e. early morning in Asia-Pacific), and by the time our guys start work, the deployment will be completed!

Good grief! Were you never taught about time zones or something as basic as the world being round? Or perhaps they never gave you comprehension classes when you were in elementary school?

The next time, just admit you are too stupid to understand any instructions containing more than 5 -and that’s FIVE – words in any sentence. Comprendez, you vociferous muthafxxka?!

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