The World The Past Fortnight

– that support for Osama bin Laden and suicide bombings have fallen sharply in much of the Muslim world, according to a multi-country poll released. The survey by the Pew Research Center examined public opinion in six predominantly Muslim nations: Morocco, Pakistan, Turkey, Indonesia, Jordan and Lebanon. It also examined views in nine North American and European countries as well as in India and China. In all, more than 17,000 people were questioned either by telephone of face-to-face. (The last time some joker said something about Osama being irrelevant, Madrid happened. Some of these people should really just shut the hell up and let sleeping dogs lie.)

– that Martha Stewart says house arrest is ‘hideous’. In an interview with Vanity Fair Magazine, Stewart says her nickname in prison was ‘M. Diddy’ and that her prosecution was all about bringing her down to scare other people. She says she agrees with others who say her crime – lying about a personal stock sale – is far different from massive corporate scandals like Enron, WorldCom and Tyco. (So? It’s still a crime. Be glad you didn’t end up ‘MC Hammer broke’, Martha!)

– that Warmonger Bush collided with a British police officer during a bike ride, suffering scrapes on his hands and arms that required bandaging, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said. (Does Warmonger really think he could fool us into underestimating him as a bungling clumsy nincompoop with his seemingly random clumsiness?)

– that Senator Marilyn Trenholme Counsell, in comments made during debate of the impending same-sex ‘marriage’ legislation, made the astonishing claim that Jesus Christ would have voted in favour of the legislation as she did. “As a Christian, I often ask myself ‘what would Jesus do?’” she said, reiterating a maxim often heard in Christian circles. She answered her question with, “In this case, in this time, I believe he would say yes.” Trenholme Counsell, as LifeSiteNews.com learned from the Senator’s assistant Rebecca Menard, was originally Baptist but converted to Anglicanism when she was married. “After all,” the Chrétien-appointed Liberal from New Brunswick claimed, “we have come a long way from Old Testament days when adulterers were put to death; and we have come a long way in our understanding of human sexuality.” (There is no doubt that God would say accept them and let them come to Him. But will the same LORD who says in Leviticus 20:13 “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” would actually encourage and tolerated their actions? Senile-ator Counsell must be senile to believe that God is schizoprenic.)

– that for the better part of two years, the word coming out of the Bush White House was that presidential adviser Karl Rove had nothing to do with the leak of a female CIA officer’s identity and that whoever did would be fired. But spokesman Scott McClellan wouldn’t repeat those claims in the face of Rove’s own lawyer, Robert Luskin, acknowledging the political operative spoke to Matthew Cooper of Time magazine, one of the reporters who disclosed Valerie Plame’s name. McClellan repeatedly said he couldn’t comment because the matter is under investigation. When it was pointed out he had commented previously even though the investigation was ongoing, he responded, “I’ve really said all I’m going to say on it.” (It is highly unlikely they would do anything to the person who is instrumental in Bush’s second election victory.)

– that Warmonger Bush expressed solidarity with Britain over the London bombings and said terrorists would try to break the will of democracies by killing innocent people. “They are mistaken. America will not retreat in the face of terrorists and murderers,” he said. (Why, would people give their lives to try and ‘break the will of democracies’ when they will not be around to enjoy it if it ever happens? Don’t talk cock lah, Warmonger!)

– that football hooligans communicating over the internet have spoken of the need to put aside partisan support for teams and unite against Muslims. Hooligans from West Ham, Millwall, Crystal Palace and Arsenal are among those seeking to establish common cause. (It is a pity that the bombs of the terrorists didn’t take out these bastards instead. That would have been an economical use of bombs to wipe out two groups of assholes in one go.)

– that hundreds of Church of England clergy doubt the existence of God and fewer than two thirds believe in miracles, a study says.The report, published on the eve of the General Synod, refers to ‘very fragile faultlines along which the Church of England could be torn apart’. Congregations are much more conservative than most of the comparatively liberal clergy preaching to them. (Actually, it is no surprise. The actions of some churches already manifested the godlessness in their lives.)

– that Tony B-liar has refused to be drawn into a diplomatic row after the French president reportedly made insulting remarks about British food. Jacques Chirac joked with German and Russian lea-duhs: ‘One cannot trust people whose cuisine is so bad.’ (It was once a joke among friends that people with the worst cuisines are also the ‘best’ colonialists. The reason being they can’t wait to get out of their home country to get better food. And it is no wonder the British built an Empire that put even Genghiz Khan’s and Alexander’s to shame.)

– that Tony B-liar said it is crucial to address terrorism’s underlying causes, which he identified as deprivation, lack of democracy and ongoing conflict in the Middle East. (B-liar, you are still not getting it!)

– that the BBC has re-edited some of its coverage of the London Underground and bus bombings to avoid labelling the perpetrators as ‘terrorists’, it was disclosed. Early reporting of the attacks on the BBC’s website spoke of terrorists but the same coverage was changed to describe the attackers simply as ‘bombers’. The BBC’s guidelines state that its credibility is undermined by the ‘careless use of words which carry emotional or value judgments’. Consequently, “the word ‘terrorist’ itself can be a barrier rather than an aid to understanding” and its use should be ‘avoided’, the guidelines say. (What is there to understand about these murderous beasts?)

– that the London bombings occurred exactly six months after an extremist cleric based in the capital declared that Islam was at war with Britain. Investigators are examining their limited records on the followers of Omar Bakri Mohammed to determine if any have been recently recruited into an active terror cell. (Anyone who preaches the idea of religious murder is an enemy of humanity.)

– that a group calling itself the Organisation of Al-Qaeda Jihad in Europe claimed the attacks in London and threatened similar ones in Italy, Denmark and other countries with troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. “Heroic mujahedeens carried out a sacred attack in London, and here is Britain burning in fear, terror, and fright in the north, south, east and west,” said a statement posted on the Internet, which could not be authenticated. (Heroic? Sacred? ‘Mujahedeen’? Don’t make me puke, you forked-tongue, incestuous muth@fuck@s. London has defied Hitler’s Luftwaffe and the IRA. So will it outlast you.)

– that Tony B-liar vowed to bring to justice those responsible for the carnage that killed at least 33 people in packed underground trains and a bus in central London. (Go ahead as long as such ‘justice’ do not come in the form of lies and the invasion of another innocent country.)

– that the Shanghai Cooperation Organization, which groups Russia, China, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan and Tajikistan, urged a deadline be set for withdrawal of the foreign forces from its member states in light of what it said was a decline in active fighting in Afghanistan. The alliance’s move appeared to be an attempt to push the U.S. out of a region that Moscow regards as historically part of its sphere of influence and in which China seeks a dominant role because of its extensive energy resources. The U.S. rejected the call for a deadline. State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said the U.S. military presence ‘is determined by the terms of our bilateral agreements, under which both countries have concluded that there is a benefit to both sides from our activities’. (Some ‘guests’ tends to overstay their hosts’ hospitality, and will continue to shamelessly stay on unless you drive them out with a broom.)

– that a university in south-western China has barred its students from engaging in escort services, having affairs with married people or one-night stands. Anyone found to be ‘escort girls, mistresses or gigolos’ would be expelled from the school, according to a regulation posted by Chongqing Normal University. One-night love affairs are also banned, said the university. It said that the new regulation, which was introduced in May, was aimed at safeguarding the school’s image, according to a Chongqing Evening News report. (There’s nothing to stop them from becoming ‘friends’, is there? And as one of my friends say, “‘Occasional f*cking’ friends.”)

– that ahead of a sensitive war anniversary today, Chinese state media blamed the Japanese invasion for setting back China’s modernisation drive by 50 years and causing damage of up to US$500 billion. For the Chinese, July 7 marks Japan’s full-scale invasion of their country in 1937, an anniversary which will be more closely watched this year for fresh anti-Japanese protests. (What about the ‘Cultural Revolution’ and also the ‘Great Leap Foward’, dudes?)

– that a group of teachers and translators in Japan sued Tokyo’s governor for calling French a ‘failed international language’, a report said. Twenty-one people filed the lawsuit at Tokyo District Court, demanding that Tokyo Governor Shit-taro Eat-shit-hara pay a total of 10.5 million Yen compensation for insulting the French language in remarks last October, national broadcaster NHK said. In their suit, the plaintiffs accused Ishihara of saying, ‘French is a failed international language because it cannot be used to count numbers’. “It’s natural for different languages to have different names for numbers and different ways of counting them, so it’s unacceptable for him to insult French in this way,” Malik Berkane, who heads a French-language school in Tokyo, told reporters at a news conference. (Eat-Shit-hara might want to know that Japan’s a ‘failed colonial master’ or a ‘failed empire’ because of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Ouch!)

– that Gloria Arroyo has asked her entire cabinet to resign, amid continuing calls for her to quit. Arroyo, who has been accused of trying to unfairly influence her re-election, said a new Cabinet would give her gover-min renewed momentum. “I am asking my entire cabinet to tender their resignations in order to give the executive a free hand to reorganize itself,” she said. She also said that the Philippines’ system of gover-min needed to be reformed. “The political system that I am part of has degenerated to the point that it needs fundamental change, she said. (Same goes for a lot of vociferous democratic nations with really nothing better to show except a messed up economy and their combative politicians.)

– that legislator have criticised the gover-min for allowing foreign observers into Aceh ahead of a possible peace deal despite parliament’s opposition to turning the province into an ‘international issue’. They are angry over a two-day trip by 12 observers from the European Union and Asean that recently ended. (Just solve the @#$% problem and stop whining, alright?)

– that nearly a third of Malaysian teenagers would take a bribe if offered, a gover-min survey has shown, but officials say the problem of corruption is not widespread among the nation’s young, news reports said. Mr Sulaiman Mahbob, chief of the integrity institute said his officials were ‘concerned’ about the findings – which showed 30% of those surveyed would take a bribe – but said corruption ‘is not widespread’ among the country’s youth. (Perhaps they need to drive some big shots to suicide to teach a lesson.)

– that Najib Tun Razak told dUMNO members who are punished for money politics to come back after serving their punishments. “Such members are still eligible to contest and they can take part as a delegate in the party elections once they have served their sentences,” he said. “I hope they will not shy away from Umno and continue to make contributions for the sake of the party,” he said of the action taken against several dUMNO figures for money politics. (Najib should read the story about leopards not being able to change their spots.)

– that Mama-thir Mohamad is on a collision course with Trade Minister Rafidah Aziz over his claims that official policies were hurting the national car Proton. Mama-thir said certain decisions had created unfair competition for the home-grown car-making industry. (Whining must be one of the ways to make cars more sellable in Malaysia. In fact, when even your own people wouldn’t buy the cars you produced, then it’s high time you buck up!)

– that Abdullah Badawi defended his gover-min’s decision to reduce protection for national carmaker Proton as he stepped into a roiling controversy between Trade Minister Rafidah Aziz and Mama-thir Mohamad. Urging the carmaker to become more competitive, he emphasised that the gover-min was not working against the company’s interests. “Proton is our car. We want Proton to succeed. We have been protecting Proton. The protection is being reduced gradually because that is the right thing to do,” Datuk Seri Abdullah told reporters. (Maybe Abdullah Badawi should just send this Mama crybaby a big gold-plated pacifier.)

Singapore The Past Fortnight

– that Lao Lee said there was something missing in Singapore’s system and the country’s best often did not go to the universities here. More needs to be done to recruit high calibre students and faculty, he told guests at the Medical Centennial Dinner at the Istana. (For starters, maybe some of the mini$ter$ own sons and daughters should step out and help. Or is there no sons and daughters of mini$ter$ who can help?)

– that in a joint statement, Baby Lee and Warmonger Bush acknowledged the progress made in the war on terror. The two lea-duhs also welcomed the successful election of the first Iraqi National Assembly, with Warmonger expressing appreciation for Singapore’s contributions to Iraq’s reconstruction and stabilisation. (What progress? The situation now is ‘反恐，反恐。越反越恐。’- “The more they anti-, the more the terror.”)

– that only three out of 24 Singapore teenagers The Stooge Times approached on Orchard Road knew what the acronym Asean stands for and could name the countries in the grouping. The rest, including two students from a top junior college, were stumped. (They probably couldn’t name the entire team of MPs in their GRCs too, if they are from a GRC.)

– that Pacific Internet required all those applying online for a job to declare they are not communists or fascists. Law undergraduate Mok Cuiyu stumbled across the unusual line on the application form about two weeks ago, when she was doing some research online. The form, which could be found on www. pacific.net.sg, ended with the statement: ‘I am not a member of or associated with the Communist Party or fascist organisation.’ PacNet has since changed the declaration to: ‘I am not a member of any unlawful organisations.’ (There aren’t many Communists left these days. They sugar-coat themselves as capitalists because one of the ways to paralyze the people is with the pursuits of material gains.)

– that charity commercials these days focus very much on the great prizes to be won by dialling in one’s donations. (Maybe it would have been so much more acceptable if they made the 2 caSINos they are building sound like another charity.)

– that in a statement released, the NKF board said it wished to ‘reiterate its wholehearted support’ for Durai as its chief executive, adding that the foundation ‘looks forward to carrying on all its life-saving activities with full vigour and strength’. (Their lapse in judgement is gonna cost.)

– that NKF is again making headlines again as it commences, along with its chief executive T T Durai, 57, a libel suit against SPH and Ms Susan Long, 32, ST senior writer and author of the April 19 report, The NKF: Controversially ahead of its time?. In the first six paragraphs of the report, Ms Long set out that her source, ‘a retired contractor… known only as Mr Tan’, told her of a ‘gold-plated tap’ costing ‘at least $1,000’, as well as a glass-panelled shower and a ‘pricey German toilet bowl’, that he had to install on the ’12th floor of the $21-million building’. She recounted how the contractor had ‘scream(ed) his head off’ on learning of the assignment at the NKF’s ‘new headquarters at Kim Keat Road in 1995’, but was told to ‘just do’ his job. According to the report, the taps he eventually installed were ‘scaled down’ to an ‘upmarket chrome-plated model’. These allegations implied that the NKF had, under Durai’s management, misused public funds, said the NKF in the Supreme Court. It is arguing that the newspaper had an agenda against it. (Can we put a face to this elusive ‘retired contractor’?)

– that after being grilled for two full days, Durai was asked by senior counsel Davinder Singh: “Are you willing to dispose of your claim?” A little haggling and some objections by the lawyers followed but after a few minutes, Durai told the stunned courtroom: “Yes, I withdraw my claim.” (Good choice. Fortunately, Durai didn’t suffer a nervous breakdown with all that dirty linen being washed in public.)

– that some 6,800 donors have cancelled their contributions to NKF. At the same time, some 37,000 people signed an online petition calling for Durai to step down. (There’s no difference between dying, taking a shit and an unpopular CEO. – ‘When it’s time to go, it’s time to go.’)

– that Durai will foot the bill for the defamation suits against the SPH and one of its writers. This means he pays the legal costs for both the SPH and the NKF. It is understood that in such a matter, legal costs are expected to come up to a few hundred thousand dollars. (Not many people have the courage to bow out honorably and gracefully. Let’s give some credit to Durai.)

– that after ensuring ‘all the clinical services continue undisrupted’, the board will turn its attention to NKF’s financing, subsidy policy, pricing policy and reserves. “Let us objectively, independently, take a good, hard look at this data. If indeed it’s in a happy position whereby funds are so healthy, then we don’t have to raise any more funds,’ said Cow Bey. “If need be, the funds can be diverted to other causes.” (Wait a minute!!! What causes might that be? And who decides?)

– that the police are widening their efforts to combat the rising spate of mobile phone thefts. For starters, they are exploring the idea of setting up a database containing the ‘identity card’ numbers of stolen phones. The International Mobile Equipment Identification (IMEI) number, comprises 15 digits, and is unique to each phone. Once a phone is turned on, the number is transmitted, allowing it to be tracked and disabled even if the SIM card is changed. (In fact, they should even use the IMEI number to track down the next user and see if he’s the thief himself.)

– that airfares are cheaper these days, but prices have not come down as much because fuel surcharges are rising. (It’s a smart way to pass more costs to the commuters without making yourself look bad.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thought from Discussions

– that one of the most irritating things your boss and colleagues could do to you is to forward you a long exchange of emails, with a simple ‘FYA’ or no comments. You have to duplicate the same work he has done to understand what the ongoing issue is about before you can take action. And sometimes you even wonder, just which action is the appropriate one to take. (One of the best action to take is to simply ignore and delete the blasted email, and sit on the problem until a reminder is sent. Just say, “I was having a bit of a problem understanding the issue reading the email exchange, and to decide on what is the appropriate action to take. I have shortlisted [put favorite number here] actions and am evaluating on the best course of action.”)

– that two teenagers were under arrest on suspicion of killing another teen for his iPod portable music player, police said. Police also have reported a wave of iPod robberies on city subways, saying in April that 50 iPods had been stolen this year, compared to none over the same period last year. (Creative should be an utter bastard and put this on their commercials: ‘Don’t sign your own death warrant. Don’t be a target of crime. Buy a Creative Zen.’)

– that Zoe Tay revealed that she had so much breast milk after she gave birth to her son Brayden, she would offer her friends’ children some. At a rehearsal for the NKF Cancer Show, she said that she once called her doctor, asking if the hospital wanted any of her milk. When the doctor told her that she could use it as a facial mask, shampoo or shower gel, she did as she was told. (Now some kids have got some more things to show off. “I drank Zoe Tay’s milk, you know?!’ But again, wouldn’t it turn sour after awhile?)

– that Britney Smears’ friends are worried about the pregnant pop tart. Apparently, her husband Kevin Federline constantly chainsmokes around his wife. (Well, has he already bought her an insurance policy with himself as the beneficiary?)

– that Dakota Fanning’s role in War of the Worlds when fleeing from the alien life forms is being the little screaming machine. She screeches loudly in the movies continually. (It’s a miracle Tom Cruise didn’t deck her somewhere in the middle of the movie with a punch to the face.)

– that Earth’s bacterium and virii not just attack alien life forms, but also the shields of their tripods. (What do you know? After all, the Macintosh comes complete with alien compatible networking protocols in ‘Independence Day’)

– that Internet users worried about spyware and adware are shunning specific Web sites, avoiding file-sharing networks, even switching browsers. (Finally waking up already?)

The Ugly Singaporean Award

– that while guiding his girlfriend through the steps of setting up Internet banking, 20 year-old Yang Yingze memorised her PIN and used the same ruse on her 15-year-old brother. This sick sack of shit then stole $34,490 from the 4 bank accounts held by his girlfriend and her brother, whose 47-year-old mother mother was a joint holder. He was jailed for 21 months after he pleaded guilty to four charges under the Computer Misuse Act and one charge of giving false information. Another 29 charges were taken into consideration. (Actually, even sentening him to 34,490 hours of hard labour in a Siberian gulag isn’t enough.)

The Brain-Dead Singaporean Award

– that brain-dead VEDHA GIRI SOUNDARATHIAGARAJAN suggested that to avoid call bookings, thus ensuring that there are more taxis on the road and discouraging ‘disappearance acts’ by taxi drivers, commuters should be detered from doing so by increasing call booking charges to $8. (Singapore are full of such brain-dead people around thinking about nothing but just more ways to rob others of their money and to punish them. When will it be the day singaporeans can come up with ideas that actually really works WITHOUT increasing the cost for everyone?)