Author: Grievous

面暹唛蛤 续集

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伟大领袖 金日成 老李 (Lao Lee) 的儿子，亲爱的领袖伟大的将军 金正日 小李 (Baby Lee) 最近说了以下这段令人费解 (又或者啼笑皆非) 的话：

“I was watching the trains going down into town along the Central Expressway. Every carriage was packed. I think we need to improve the public transport. We’ve got some ideas.”

(意思大概： 我看着和中央 “龟速” 公路平行的地铁列车。每趟都满满的。我想我们需要改进我们的公共交通工具。我们有了些概念。)

怪了！ 南北线的地铁哪段是和中央 “龟速” 公路平行的啊？小李他是在 “龟速” 公路上何处看到的？我想，可能是我们亲爱的领袖他使用他那 “飞龙在天” 的大能时是所见的吧。要不然，这可能就是吃了没蛤的面暹 (no hum mee siam) 的人才会拥有如此能目观千里的异能。

不过回头一想，不管是飞龙在天或者是在象牙巨塔上仰望，就算是距离十万八千里，南北线的地铁 “的确是” 和中央 “龟速” 公路平行的。如您不信打开这一段新加坡地图一看便知… 呵呵…

班纳度与电子公路收费

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不久前的一则新闻报导说中央 快速 龟速公路 (CTE – Central [Tortoise] Expressway) 上，早上 8:30 ~ 9:00 的电子公路收费 (ERP) 将再调高伍角到五元。（大型货车和公车则是 $10）。

我曾经和朋友说过，电子公路收费基本上是没有解决新加坡交通拥挤和缓慢的问题的。其根本目的，其实就是一种变相和能够随便增加的汽车税。而且电子公路收费的原理就像身体疼痛时吃班纳度一样，痛就弄两粒来吃，如果吃了还没效就把药加重一点。还是不行的话就频繁一点吃药。

你不信吗？就拿 CTE 来说吧… 先是一个闸门。不行，加费。还是不行，在弄多一个闸门。这样如此的乱吃药，病是绝对不会医好，但肯定的会出现以下的两种情况：

(一) 药不再有效。吃多少还是痛但不吃又不行；
(二) 药吃得太多太频繁，就算不吃死人也吃出另外一种病 – 如癌症 – 来。

下这药方的蒙古大夫如果收费少还勉强情有可原，但是当其收费每年比美国总统还多的时候，新加坡人是否应该醒醒？新加坡人是否是药已经是吃到头昏脑胀，连自己病入膏肓也不知道？不过我看来，或许是药下得恰到好处，把新加坡人弄到迷迷糊糊的，让其再也无法来作出正确的判断和明智的决定来。

要不然，这群蒙古大夫为何还能当主治医师那么久？呵呵…

三轮车夫被欺负观后感

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不久以前在 DK 的部落格上看到了一群白人流氓欺负一名三轮车夫的短片。(本地的报章接着也报导了这件事。我看不久的将来这也会出现在外国的网站和部落格之上。)

继 Odex 事件之后，这群流氓的所作所为肯定是另一件能引起公愤的事。我和许多的朋友看了后都义愤填膺，而且很多网友看后也气炸了。如果我和友人在场的话肯定会把这几个英格兰人渣败类狠狠的揍他妈的一顿。操！’甘霖老母赶羚羊’，我们已经不是英帝国的殖民地了！

在片里他们不断的讲些尖酸刻薄的话来嘲笑那把那老人和三轮车的速度，最后还截了辆德士逃之夭夭。三个加起来几百磅重的人渣把老人家折腾了一番已经够狠了，不还老人家的车费那才最可耻可恨。有钱旅行没新币十元鬼才相信你啊！十元新币你们英镑才多少啊，’山林凉’!

过后回想，心里有些稀虚。我们老了，也会有如此的遭遇吗？随后和一些朋友聊起这事时谈到了退休年龄，公积金和年金的事，我们都在想平均 78 岁的我们能活到 85 岁拿我们的年金吗？拿公积金的日子是否已遥遥无期？我们就算长寿，但可否还仍然会如此健康？到时候是否就算我们想要工作，也会像三轮车夫一样想让车子跑快一点但就是力不从心？或者比较年轻的同事会否会嘲笑年迈的我们，觉得我们是个负累？

衰老和软弱的活着，是否比死亡更加可怕？

The okcupid Dating Persona Test

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My friend sent this test from okcupid.com to me. This is the result of the test on the first try. You can always take it again and again to get the tailored result or find out how many ‘species’ there are, if you want. 😛

The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door

Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You’re looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it’s sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you’ve had some things not work out before, so what.

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you’re often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You’re the typical “nice guy:” without just a touch of cockiness, you’re doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph (DBSD)

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Peach (RGLM)

 Your exact male opposite:

The 5-Night Stand

The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

PS: The site gave a set of codes to display the results which for some odd reasons fouls up my formatting. I tried modifying it to make it good but my limited understanding in DHTML leaves me baffled by their coding wizardry. So I reverse engineered it… and if the format is appearing strange, blame it on my lousy HTML skills.

Hatebook

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Hatebook is an anti-social utility that connects you with the people YOU HATE. The Facebook parody provides (temporary) misanthropes with a place to air grievances about everything they hate. Surprisingly, I came across references to this site reading the Chinese magazine, Yazhouzhoukan (亚洲周刊).

If you need to learn some English vulgarities / profanities, this is definitely the site for you. Listed on the front page of the site, are the following ‘services’ which will be provided to you after you sign up:

  • Upload blackmail material or publish lies – Got a Tammy video of your enemy you wanna upload?

  • Get the latest gossip from your enemies and friends – Now you can tell the world just what you think about that arsehxle in public with nothing to fear!

  • Post photos and videos on your hate profile – Parodies of another person’s favorite video, anyone?

  • Tag your friends – What? You actually have friends on Hatebook and they haven’t yet backstabbed you?

  • Get hate points from disturbing people who live, study, or work around you – Polite hatred at its best!

  • Take over the world – Every geeks’ secret dream!

And if you need to know more, you can read more about it here.

So, just why am I talking about Hatebook now? Because:

  1. I am kriffing sick of everyone asking me if I use Facebook. It doesn’t make one a caveman simply because he doesn’t use it.

  2. I am kriffing sick of the hype. As if the iPod, iPhone, iMac hype from MacFreaks and Apple-cum-Jobs ball-lickers aren’t bad enough already? Frankly, Facebook will be just that ‘best thing’ until the next one comes around. Consider what had gone before… Friendster, Hi5, Wayn, Tagged… * yawn *

  3. It’s kriffing irritating when you play your blasted Facebook games inside it and then talk about it on MSN or the ping.sg shoutbox.

Damn, on second thoughts, maybe I should really sign up to Hatebook. Perhaps I can even find some ‘friends’ who all hate Xiasuay and do some communal flaming together without smearing my blog with that accursed name…

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