MrOtaku 部落格上的最近的一篇文章似乎又引起某个叫 ‘汤罐仙’ 的反感。这又汤又仙的怪胎公然指责 MrOtaku 提倡对女性进行暴力 (promotes violence against women)，并号召群众必须群起而围攻之。

我看过 MrOtaku 小子那篇指桑骂槐的的文章。虽然含沙射影，但是还不至于冒天下之大不韪 (risk the wrath of the world)，公然的提倡对女性进行暴力。毛泽东说过，女人能撑起半边天。所以，就算他胆生毛，会笨到向一半的人类 – 包括他的母亲大人 – 宣战吗 (declare war on one half of the human race)？

再说，文章主要针对的对象，是呼之欲出的。所以那一半一半 (half this half that) – 也是不三不四 – 的东西会怀恨在心，进而恶意攻击的理由本座也不必言明。既然是 ‘一半一半又不三不四的东西’，对别人的文章是否是一知半解，那我们也得仔细考虑 (examine with care) 一下了。既然如此，指责是否正确实在是根本没必要辩论 (needless to debate) 的。但是俺能肯定的，’半桶屎的 狼 人’ (Hokkien: bwa tang sai eh lang) 如果断章取义 (take things out of context) 来大作文章，那定当不稀奇。

言归正转，说到福建话 ‘半桶屎’ (half a pail of shit) 这短短的三个字，包藏的道理可是博大精深 (conveys deep wisdom) 啊！诸君必定在想，为何俺会这么说呢？会有那么严重吗？

首先，说人 ‘半桶水’ (half a pail of water)，是说有人的学艺不精 (failed to master something entirely)，一知半解 (did not fully understand)。虽然这样的人时常会帮倒忙，甚至越帮越忙，但至少还有些用途。 ‘半桶屎’ 的东西啊，就什么用途都没有了。因为这类孬种连所懂得那一半也是没用的 (even the half it managed to understand is useless)，就象屎一样差不多一点用都没有。简单的来说，被比喻为 ‘半桶屎’ 的，其实比 ‘半桶水’ 更是一无是处 (utterly fxxking useless) 了。

而且话说回来，屎本身也并不是完全没有用途。就说牛屎 (cow dung) 吧，发酵后 (after fermentation) 释放出来的甲烷 (methane) 还有当作天然气的用途。剩下的渣滓，在印度还被用来做成砖块，建成一所冬暖夏凉的好房子。最基本的用途还可用来施肥。也就是说，要是用 ‘半桶屎’ 来形容某某，任何生物的屎 (feces of any creatures)，必定都会感觉委屈 (distressed) 的。

但请谨记，虽然这骗文章对屎的确是有某些见解，但是其注重的并不是屎… 就象之前那篇不是讲 ‘妓’ (与 ‘鸡’ 谐音) – 一样，虽然芽笼被轻描淡写的提过。

唉，不写了，俺得去休息了。既然目的已经达到了就应当休息。太过专著 (to be obsessed with) 某些事与物是一种病态 (a kind of sickness) 。别 ‘玩’ 的过火以免就象牛肉煮得太熟了可能会不好吃一样。加上身体不照顾好是会很容易完蛋的。呜呼哀哉之后就什么都玩完了…

(粤) 其实开心好简单最紧要好玩 – 取之许冠杰的 ”最紧要好玩”

那无聊的 “战斗” 仍然持续着。前线传来的消息是其中一个叫做 “鸡不死” (hen-never-perished) 的小不点企图扩大战果，竟然把它部落格其中的一篇文章给上载到 tomorrow.sg 去了。

真是太好了。如果它认为如此是非常聪明的作法，那就让它去吧。鸡的脑袋原本就小得可怜，能想到这样点子，是非常罕见的。而且，它也有选择自我毁灭的权力。不过话先说在前头，几亿年的岁月里有只鸡终于能成功的进化 (evolve)，此刻达尔文 (Darwin) 如还在世的话肯定会非常骄傲他的 “进化论” (Evolution Theory) 被验证了！妙哉！妙哉！

唯一可惜的，它进化后竟然是把自己的愚蠢公诸于世。想必看到它如此的糟蹋其进化的果实，达尔文此刻也只能深深的叹息。因为大自然的 “适者生存定律” (law of the survival of the fittest) 最终还是会因此而淘汰 (eliminate) 如此劣等的生物 (inferior lifeform) 的。唉，实在可惜啊！

虽然如此，不过本座还是以为，不管其作为是如何的不智，既然它自愿 (volunteer) 站了出来娱乐 (entertain) 诸君，如此无私的对社会奉献 (selfless sacrifice to society) 还是值得我们惊叹的。本座也突然想到，既然中国古文学里时常有关于禽兽听佛讲道之后而得道，这鸡鸡会成功进化，是否是因为在城市丰收教会里常常听某某牧师讲道的结果呢？ 呵呵…

当然，既然是鸡 – 不管是有羽毛的鸟类还是芽笼站街的那种 – 我们还是得提防的。禽流感 – 或者爱滋病 – 到目前还没的医的呢！危险！危险！还是站远一点的好。 * 我闪！ *

当然，俺既然胆敢自封 “鸟神”， 俺对俺的子民的痛苦当然不会视若无睹 (will not close a blind eye to the suffering of my subjects)。在此献上由中国 “闪侠” 创作的一个 MV, 纪念那些自爆发禽流感以来，无辜受害和痛苦受难的鸡族死难者吧。

A hilarious flame war has ignited on blogosphere over a trivial blog competition on Youth.sg.

Here’s a brief background of what happened:

Real fxxking hilarious. But this is my take on it:

First of all, no popularity contest is fair. The person who can best organise and mobilise people to vote for him wins. That’s not mentioning, a lot of people don’t really give a flying fxxk what is on their friend’s blog or whether they are spewing crap when their friends had asked for votes. In other words, whether MrOtaku’s blog entry is good or not does not matter, because he has won hands down by simply being more able in mobilising people to vote for him, and if you losers want to know why you lost, you need look no further than your own friends. Ever wondered if some of them are really true to you or just paying lip service? In fact, for all you know, the noisiest ones among them, the one whacking Priss the hardest maybe the ones who didn’t vote for you and they are now doing that because of their own guilty conscience.

Frankly, with Priss being the object of your wrath now, doesn’t it serve their purposes? It’s no use grilling them because they will never admit. But, sore losers, in reality you should have just blamed your own friends for not voting hard enough. Try ‘try harder’ next time, Chimps.

Next, being Priss’ friend, I wonder why do her opponents think by denigrating her as a fugly bitch, that would nullify her comments (or criticisms) of their blogs? The fact is still, MrOrtaku won, and regardless of how and why he won, that’s the only thing that matters.

Would hurting Priss for what she physically is – fat – grant you victory? How did she become ugly in that empty space you called a brain is beyond me. What kind of satisfaction does this cyber-masturbation gain for all of you? There is once again no doubt MrOtaku should win looking at the pseudo-intellectual cyber-ejaculation all of you have been posting up of late. Heh.

And here’s some food for thought: there used to be a time when fat women are considered beautiful, not the anorexic-looking, skinny, skeletal bimbo today. Go to the Asian Civilisation Museum and you will see a porcelain figure of a plump lady from that era. That’s not mentioning, a Chinese Emperor from that era almost lost his Empire over his fat concubine. If you never heard of that story, get the proper education that you clearly lacked.

Finally, here’s what I have to say for the sore losers: It’s YOUR blog. It’s YOUR creativity. Unless even you yourself have doubts that it is the best, unless you haven’t given your best to it, there is abso-fxxking-lutely no reason at all why you should even take any criticisms negatively. When the mouth grows on other people’s head, they will say what they want to say and you just have to live with that hard fact of life.

A competition win maybe nice and it may confirm your self worth, get you on the papers and give you the limelight for awhile, but a few months from now probably no one will freaking remember you. Shrug the criticisms and move on. You are not so important that the world gives much of a damn about you.

Above which, if you don’t like the criticisms you are reading, then don’t read them. If people leaves shit on your comment section, you do to it what you would do to dog poo at your door: You wipe it clean.

Now grow up and get a fxxking life! Whether someone is a fugly bitch, still won’t change the fact that you sore losers LOST what is just a popularity contest! One that you lost not because you are not good enough, but simply because you are not popular enough.

Geddit, you vociferous fxxkers?

And incidentally, I am wondering… is the favourite tagline of Asslurving Isaac from City Harvest Church whose form teacher is a slut… I’m lurvving it?