Frodo enters into Baradur, the Dark Tower of Sauron, and finds the Architect of the Matrix?

Here’s the conversation:

“Ah, you are finally here. Now have a seat, my little friend. That eye on top of this tower, is a bit too orange-ish, don’t you think?”

—

One screens shows Darth Vader speaking to a one-armed Luke holding on to the platform on Cloud City

“Luke… I am the Oracle!!”

—

Another shows Elrond in sunglasses, taking out the Narsil…

“Mister Aragorn, we miss you.”

—

Yet another shows Magneto, manipulating a gun in mid-air with the barrel pointing at Robert Langdon

“Here my dear Robert, open the cryptex.”

—

“Don’t be distracted by them, my little friend. I always thought it would have been better to have Saruman fight Palpatine,” The Architect says as he activates another screen showing two cloaked figures fighting one another.

* psszt psszt * * thrummm * * force throw *

Palpatine screams as he zaps Saruman with force lightning, “Limitless POOOWWERRR!! Hiak Hiak Hiak!!”

—

“Nice isn’t it, my dear Frodo? You are the incarnation of The One in this part of the Matrix. I should have made it a cookie of power instead of a ring. At least then when you are hungry you can still eat it. But then the impact on realism would be great since I would need to have the Cookie Monster coming after you!”

Frodo stood dumbfounded.

The Architect continues, “Have Aragorn ride Hildalgo would be a great idea too. Chased by sandstorms instead of Nazgul. And then Spiderman with Sea Biscuit now that will be soooooo cool. Imagine Arwen-dala instead of Amidala. That name really sucks and I actually heard someone said Amitabha! Duh!

It would have been even better if I had Darth Vader come after you instead of those hideous and useless Nazgul. Now it would have been much, much more painful for you had you been pierced by a lightsabre, and not a Mordor blade! Bwaghahahaha…”

—

Manipulates another screen showing Wolverine making love with Jean Grey

* soft moans and groans can be heard in the background *

The Architect mutters to himself, “Now that would be a much satisfying outcome. She would probably not be the vengeful Phoenix had Wolverine given her a good one!”

“Just who the hell are you?!” Frodo finally managed.

And the Architect turns around, stared Frodo in the eye and say, “Search your feelings, boy! I am your FATHER!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” screams Frodo.

THE END

Alright… get back to reality!! Don’t you have enough bullshit for one day?