WARNING: Opinions expressed in this post WILL BE offensive to some.
A friend showed me a petition on “No To Rape” addressed to our Prime Mini$ter.
The intention behind this is certainly noble, and indeed I am against men with a high sex drive treating their wives like an object to vent their lust. However, in view of the protection granted to women under the Woman’s Charter, the repeal of Section 375(4) in particular would put all married men in Singapore at a complete disadvantage. It’s repeal would be the equivalent of the complete capitulation of men in Singapore to women. It will leave all married men in Singapore completely vulnerable.
First of all, consider the possibility of a wife, after having sex with her husband, then turns around and accuses him of rape. Next, consider the scenario of a man who is denied sex by his wife for long periods. What avenue does a man have to satisfy his desires? Go to a prostitute? Keep a mistress? Or have a tryst with some other female companion? The main problem is, if he is caught by his wife, she can then file for divorce under the grounds of adultery. And guess what is going to happen to the poor man under the Woman’s Charter? In the worse case scenario, he could easily lose half his wealth.
So what can a man really do when the wife denies him sex? He can’t get it outside so he’s left with doing it himself. But another friend told me that a woman can actually accuse her husband for ’emotional torture’ if she catches him watching pornography and masturbating. The best part is that this can also be grounds for divorce!
While it is true that a husband can also file for divorce on the grounds that his wife refuses to consummate the marriage, the wife’s lawyer will then portray him as a inconsiderate sex crazed demon, since the wife has to work and have other ‘wifey duties’ to perform too. It doesn’t matter whether the man may have just asked for it once a week, month, quarter or year at all. After all, there is nothing to justify how much sex is excessive!
In fact, someone (I believe it was a particular Dana Lam) who said this ‘rape is the violent cover up for men’s inadequacies’. A logical question to that remark would be how much sex and what manner of sex would then be considered adequate just so men will not to resort to rape to cover it up? Perhaps Dana and women like her should agree on that and have the specifics stick into some law themselves and have the men abide by it. Indeed, the women, and not the men should be doing that, because a blog post on “No To Rape” lambasted President Kazai of Afghanistan for ‘entitling men to sexual access to their wives bodies every four days’ as legalising legal rape.
So consider this, there is now no legal grounds left for the man to actually obtain sex from his wife! Meantime, the dire consequences as a result of the Woman’s Charter, places the ‘alternatives’ of obtaining sex elsewhere undesirable. Even jerking off in your own study room to a porn movie or in the toilet can be grounds for divorce. What’s there left for married men in Singapore except the misery of a ‘sexual desert’?
I am NOT for marital rape nor am I trying to protect those who commits marital rape. To be frank, I am single so this probably doesn’t affect me now, even though it might possibly affect me later should I choose to get married. In fact, had there not been laws that already created a prior imbalance (as a result of the Woman’s Charter) I would be all for the petition. A pastor once said to us wife beaters are demon possessed – a husband gotta be beating his wife before he rapes her – and I am all for punishing them.
However, with the Woman’s Charter in place, any man who is invited to sign this petition should hold their horses. A man should take some time to consider the prevailing conditions, really understand what he is signing up for, and think really hard how that is going to impact him later.
Remember, these days it is not always the husband that is abusive and unless a more comprehensive, gender-neutral laws against marital violence is written, the repeal will place every married man in Singapore (not just Singaporeans) at a disadvantage. Signing this petition under the prevailing conditions is almost akin to an unconditional surrender. Should you sign it, your only alternative maybe to leave Singapore forever, just so you don’t end up on the business end of such laws.
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My last comment for today.
Excerpt taken from Societies Act:
Minister may order dissolution of any society.
24. —(1) Whenever it appears to the Minister that —
(a) any registered society is being used for unlawful purposes or for purposes prejudicial to public peace, welfare or good order in Singapore;
(aa) the registration of any society has been procured by fraud or misrepresentation;
(b) any registered society is being used for purposes incompatible with the objects and rules of the society;
(c) the rules of any registered society are or have been inadequate for its proper management and control and the registered society has failed without reasonable cause to amend its rules within 3 months of, and in accordance with, a direction from the Registrar to amend its rules for those purposes;
(d) the rules of any registered society which is a political association do not provide for its membership to be confined to Singapore citizens, and the society has failed without reasonable cause to amend its rules within 3 months of, and in accordance with, a direction from the Registrar to amend its rules for those purposes;
(e) any registered society which is a political association has such an affiliation or connection with any organisation outside Singapore as is considered by the Registrar to be contrary to the national interest, and has failed to satisfy the Registrar that it has taken appropriate action to sever that affiliation or connection within 3 months of, and in accordance with, a direction from the Registrar to take such action; or
(f) any registered society has wilfully contravened any provision of this Act or of any regulations made thereunder, or of any of the rules of the society,
the Minister may order that the society shall be dissolved.
http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/non_version/cgi-bin/cgi_retrieve.pl?actno=REVED-311
Societies Act
http://statutes.agc.gov.sg/non_version/cgi-bin/cgi_retrieve.pl?actno=REVED-311
For convenience and reference.
The case could be weak if based only on the CSE and notorape campaign unless there is someone who is well-versed with the Societies Act and related regulations to pinpoint where they have contravened the rules.
But all of us who are concerned can start by familiarizing ourselves with the basics and keep active in voicing out our opinions and disseminating information on AWARE’s activities.
They may try to circumvent the law with loopholes but there will surely come a time when they have gone beyond the limits (since they take so much pride in “pushing the limits” and being “progressive”). Let’s wait for the time when they have progressed to the point of no return and that will be bulls-eye for us.
Meanwhile here’s something I have found which may help readers who are concerned to familiarize ourselves with for reference as we keep track of their activities.
http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cache:ipJYgHM2KLUJ:www.mha.gov.sg/get_news_file.aspx%3Ffile_id%3Dd05_938_312_E-Consultation%2520paper%2520on%2520the%2520automatic%2520registration%2520of%2520societies.doc+societies+act+singapore&cd=9&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=sg&client=firefox-a
Automatic registration of societies may mean more trojan horses. For instance, People Like Us have been trying to get themselves recognized.
But just as the conservatives have made their stand clear with CSE by fighting back, the day will come when we can get hold of their Archilles’ heel.
Cheers.
Hi Grievous,
Didn’t realize that you were the blog owner 🙂
“the first would be a petition to the registrar of associations to disband AWARE.”
Bravo! I will certainly support and rope in my kakis too.
AWARE is a trojan horse for LGBTs.
What irks me is that AWARE claims to be fighting for women’s rights when in effect they are using us women to fight for LGBT interests and fanatical radical feminists.
Such hypocrisy and deception.
The Registrar of Societies should really re-evaluate AWARE as a civil society.
Solo Bear & iamwoman> as far as I’m concerned AWARE is nothing but trouble and has always been pushing for completely unnecessary things that polarize the people. It is a divisive and seditious force in the nation. If anything truly needs to be done, the first would be a petition to the registrar of associations to disband AWARE. At least after that these anarchists will ceased to have a ‘legal front’ to push their agenda.
Sorry, it’s abolishing Section 375(4).
Hi Solo Bear,
I agree with you about the destruction of marriage and family.
“the men do not really care because they feel their wives would not jump on the bandwagon on this one.”
If this is the reason why men are silent, then the campaigners have indeed succeeded, as in the CSE issue, in deflecting attention/awareness of/from their actual agenda by:
1 Pitching the issue as male vs female. In doing so, the women are enticed and men indifferent to the consequences of abolishing Section 375(1).
2 Pooling wool over the anti-family vs pro-family aspect which is the real threat, thus minimizing opposition from pro-family conservatives, even winning the unawares over.
This is an even bigger Trojan Horse than the CSE!
iamwoman
>>
If the men themselves are silent, it could be a reflection of their values and idea of marriage and relationships. The women cannot be expected to lead the fight for them.
>>
Me:
I feel that the men do not really care because they feel their wives would not jump on the bandwagon on this one. I for sure won’t be worried that my wife will do it to me if the bill gets passed.
What I am concerned is not individual marriages, but the bigger picture. It is the sanctity and foundation of marriage and family that the family busters are after. That is the real issue at hand.
Once they get this bill passed, we will go down the slippery slope towards the deconstruction and destruction of marriage and family.
That’s the real issue that is at stake. Not whether wives will suddenly cry rape.
Hi Grievous,
I have voiced my opinions on a couple of blogs but I am surprised that very few male bloggers have written about this.
If the men themselves are silent, it could be a reflection of their values and idea of marriage and relationships. The women cannot be expected to lead the fight for them.
I give credit to the author of this blog who has written a very good article except that he was apologetic about the potential offensiveness of his views. To me the warning was redundant.
Kudos to Solo Bear too who had received numerous “attacks” on his blog because of his perseverance and straightforwardness.
Not all Singaporean women agree with the “No To Rape” campaign. So don’t lose heart guys. There are women in this country who love men and want the cake and eat it together with them 😀
There are other arguments against the notoprape petition.
1. It deconstructs the Family Unit.
2. It likens genuine rape cases to marital disputes.
Here are my arguments.
http://wherebearsroamfree.blogspot.com/2009/07/family-busters-on-loose-again.html
I think that the maritial rape charter only applies to non-Muslim women as Muslim marriages have laws that govern it. However, a Muslim wife is not allowed to say no to the husband when he wants sex. He’s just supposed to understand that a wife isn’t his chattel to do as he pleases but if he wants it right now, the wife must give in. It kinda sucks actually.
Totally out of topic, I guess, but I thought I’d just like to share that little bit.
.-= Mintea´s last blog ..Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince aka The Hotness That Is Ron Weasley =-.
It is an utterly pointless tirade by an obviously hopelessly desperate woman who probably hates man, probably due to the fact that no man wants to have sex with her. If she is married, her husband probably is having it somewhere else.
Rape, being in itself, a forced act, would include violence against the woman. That violence alone is sufficient to punish the man and I say that man WOULD deserve to be punished for hurting the woman with a violent act.
So what are these female monkeys coming up with next, forcing husbands to ejaculate outside the vagina, unless the wife gives prior agreement?
Women in Singapore are already in a very advantageous position, with the Women’s Charter backing them up. There is absolutely no benefit for the men whatsoever in a marriage with a woman. Except sex and perhaps children. Don’t talk to me about companionship, we can get that from every other friend we have. In fact, lots of men get to have sex without marriage as well, and if women think they can grind their heels further into the Singaporean man’s butt, she had better think twice.
Men don’t need to get married for a companion. Men don’t need to get married for someone to do house chores. Besides, most men share in the housework and parenting these days. Or I can get a maid. So what other reasons can a woman give? Work? Doesn’t the man work as well? These women who try to come up with absolute nonsense to move men into craphouse must really hate men. And lord only knows what men may have done to them, but do not generalise all men into the same category. Or perhaps its because no man wants to have anything to do with them? *LOL* They do sound like desperate & bitter women to me.
Take care that when you deny your husband too much, he can play the same game. After all, communicating and physical intimacy like cuddling and hugs can lead a man to want to make love to his wif. Thus the man can rightly deny and avoid such actions and communication with his wife to avoid getting a hard on. Perhaps even just watch TV all day, or play computer games, to release the tension in his loins.
Perhaps these women like Dana wants husbands and wives to become like strangers in their own homes to come up with such an absurd crusade. They have simply forgotten that a relationship based on love has NO need for such ridiculous shit.