1 – Crystal Ball
I have peered into the crystal ball and this is on tomorrow’s papers:
*** HEADLINE ***
Indonesian Environment Minister blames Singapore’s reclamation at Tuas for causing the Earthquake at Padang, Sumatra.
2 – Jedi Knights
That if you have the following symptoms you might be suffering from Schizophrenia:
- Thinking you have special powers;
- Hearing voices that others cannot hear; and
- Seeing things others cannot see
Therefore I conclude, all Jedis are suffering from schizophrenia because they all have the above 3 symptoms.
3 – Sith Lords
And if you have the above and you are ‘thinking that people are against you or talking about you’, you have the potential to be a Sith Lord.
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Note: There is no offense intended for the specialists and dedicated people trying to help those suffering from schizophrenia. It is also not the intention nor the purpose of this post to make fun of the plight of those suffering from it. Please help schizophrenia patients by visiting and donating to Silver Ribbon (Singapore). |
Holy Cow!
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Cows are bio-engineered by evil aliens from Taurus Prime which have been trying to conquer this planet for eons. The aliens that created them are none other than the Minotaurs of ancient Greece and there are unconfirmed rumours that in certain parts of the world, some are even worshipping the cows as ‘gods’. The primary function of these biological ‘machines’ of evil aliens is to eat the most common vegetation on Earth – grass – to strip it bare and cause desertification. It will then process the grass eaten and then farts [and burps] methane – a green house gas which causes global warming – into the air, so that the environment becomes hotter and less viable for vegetation regrowth. In fact, Australia can ratify and meet the requirements of the Kyoto protocols on the limitation on emission of greenhouse gases simply by wiping out all its cows! |
 The Alien Enemy |
And if this still doesn’t convince you, just what other creature on this planet has 4 stomachs? It certainly isn’t a creature that evolved on this planet! The cow’s stomach is clear evidence of alien biotechnology as it is nothing but an efficient bio-machinery that serves the objective of its alien creators – to strip our grassland bare to produce methane – and make the planet like that of Taurus Prime and more habitable for them! The cow is an advanced piece of alien artifact meant to ‘terraform’ the Earth in advance for the eventual colonization by the Minotaurs!
Alright… don’t get hysterical. That’s enough crap for one day. Now get back to your studies, or get back to work!!