The World This Week

– that two U.S. doctors have suggested the sale of organs such as kidneys should be legalised to meet the rising demand. They said bids to increase the donor pool were failing, and a black market in organ sales was booming. (Comical tragedy – Man sold one kidney only to discover that remaining one failed.)

– that at least when it comes to such mishaps as the Sony BMG Music Entertainment fiasco, the best way to deal with rootkits is to outlaw them, an official from the Department of Homeland Security suggested. (Thou shall not put on my PC, software which hides itself and prevents itself from being removed.)

– that reminiscent of 1980s Japan-bashing, Washington is revving up criticism of China to rectify a burgeoning trade deficit, but its options are limited and any retaliatory actions could backfire, analysts say. To appease constituents facing job losses in America’s industrial heartlands, U.S. lawmakers have proposed legislation to downgrade trade relations with China and impose punitive tariffs on Chinese goods flooding the U.S. (But the problem isn’t really just China, isn’t it? With China as final assembly point for many products for companies from Korea, Japan etc, the trade deficit with China has other beneficiaries.)

– that glorification of terrorism will become a crime in Britain now that parliament has backed Tony B-liar’s version of a key part of a new anti-terror law prompted by the July bombings in London. Banning the glorification of terrorism has been a key plank of Mr B-liar’s effort to give police and prosecutors tougher tools to confront terrorism in the wake of the July 7, 2005, attacks on three London subway trains and a double-decker bus. B-liar has taken the issue of glorification so seriously that he used his speech at the UN General Assembly last September to appeal to other nations to outlaw those who praise or celebrate acts of terrorism. (Well, define ‘terrorism’ in the British context.)

– that Dresdner Bank controlled a company which had a hand in building Nazi death camps, funded the dreaded SS and was closely associated with the economic infrastructure of the Third Reich. Like other German corporates who were involved in this terrible period in the country’s history, it is determined to acknowledge responsibility and, where it can, make amends. In recent years, for example, Dresdner has been raising money to rebuild the Church of Our Lady, destroyed by Allied bombing attacks on Dresden in 1945. Wulf Meier, a bank board member, said that “the results of this research confront us with historical facts, which present the history of our bank in the Nazi era in an extremely critical light. We accept these truths, even if they are painful. The bank accepts moral responsibility for its behaviour.” (Which is what makes the Germans morally superior to the despicable Japanese.)

– that French President Jacques Chirac has ordered the asbestos-lined warship Clemenceau to return to French waters after a ruling by the highest court. The court had demanded an end to the transfer of the decommissioned warship to a breaking yard in India after complaints from environmentalists. (That’s a pleasant surprise, provided they didn’t just recall the ship because they have something to hide.)

– that Silvio Berlusconi incurred the wrath of the Vatican after comparing himself to Jesus Christ. Italy’s outspoken multi- millionaire prime minister has caused a storm with the comments, which came on the first day of official campaigning for April’s general election. Speaking at a party rally in the Adriatic port city of Ancona, Mr Berlusconi said: “I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone, I sacrifice myself for everyone.” (Jesus Christ also had to die for a greater purpose. And then he rose from the dead. Try dying first, for a purpose greater than the salvation of mankind, Berlusconi, before you even try and compare yourself to Jesus Christ.)

– that Kate Jamieson, a gambler accused of defrauding the Bendigo Bank of more than $7 million, claims Melbourne’s Crown Casino enticed her with limousine rides to the Melbourne Cup and other luxury freebies. “I started to gamble heavily because of the things I could get or what they would give me, for example free meals, accommodation, trips to the tennis, football, Grand Prix (and) Melbourne Cup, often travelling there by limousine,” she said. “I was totally seduced by this because it was a side of life I had never seen before.” (She might as well say the Devil made her do it.)

– that Israel’s compulsory military service is to be gradually reduced to two years from the current three years in a move that would save millions of pounds a year, defence minister Shaul Mofaz said. The reduction would begin next year. (Did they expect Sharon’s wall to protect them forever?)

– that Israel’s next parliament must determine the country’s permanent borders, said acting Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. Ane he set a four-year time frame for drawing the line between Israel and the West Bank. Olmert was speaking at a special session marking the anniversary of the founding of the Knesset, Israel’s parliament. He did not say how the borders would be drawn, leaving open the option of unilateral Israeli action. (Did they pick this idea up from Caesar Hadrian.)

– that Mahmud Abbas told the new Hamas-dominated parliament that he would continue working towards a negotiated Middle East peace agreement while urging the international community and Israel not to ‘punish’ voters for electing the terrorists. In his speech at the Ramallah-based parliament’s inauguration, Abbas warned the new intake of deputies that there was no military solution to the conflict with Israel – a state whose right to exist Hamas refuses to recognise. (* sigh * There is no point beating up a people so beaten that the only thing they have to lose is their lives.)

– that a dozen former Communist Party officials and senior scholars, including a one-time secretary to late chairman Mao Zedong, a party propaganda chief and the retired bosses of some of the country’s most powerful newspapers, have denounced the recent closing of a prominent news journal, helping to fuel a growing backlash against censorship. A public letter issued by party elders, dated Feb 2 but circulated to journalists in Beijing, appeared to add momentum to a campaign by a few outspoken editors against micro-management, personnel shuffles, and an ever-expanding blacklist of banned topics imposed on China’s newspapers, magazines, TV stations and websites by the party’s secretive Propaganda Department. (There is no reason to control the papers when it isn’t spewing lies or sensational news but frank opinion about faults in the party.)

– that China has decided to allow the re-opening of an investigative newspaper shut down last month, its editor has said. The Bingdian (Freezing Point) will hit news stands on 1 March, Li Datong said. But he said Communist Party officials in charge of the weekly would not allow him and his deputy to work there. (Thought control by controlling who gets to write is far ‘better’ than thought control through access denial.)

– that Japan’s most powerful media baron, stinging in his criticism of Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi’s visits to the Yasukuni war shrine, says the Japanese lea-duh’s move stems from ignorance. Konkz-umi worships at a shrine that glorifies militarism, said Mr Tsuneo Watanabe, chairman of the Yomiuri Shimbun group, who equates war criminal Hideki Tojo with Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler. “This person Konkz-umi doesn’t know history or philosophy, doesn’t study, doesn’t have any culture,” Mr Watanabe said in one of several interviews in which he questioned the rising nationalism he had previously cultivated in the pages of his main newspaper, the Yomiuri Shimbun. The daily, with a circulation of 14 million, is the world’s largest. (That would be what Konkz-umi wants us to believe so we under-estimate him.)

– that a Japanese consular official who committed suicide in Shanghai was blackmailed by Chinese intelligence agents who set him up with a woman to obtain classified information, Taro Aso Arsehole said. “They approached him, offering to arrange a sexy woman for him. Then he was blackmailed to give away secret codes for classified information. It is clear from a suicide note he left.” Arsehole said the Japanese official killed himself in May 2004 after having an affair with the woman. The Foreign Ministry said there was no sign that the official leaked information. (Well, show me what researches you were doing on every whale you guys were killing, then I’ll start to believe Japan.)

– that the KMT has dropped a bombshell on Taiwan’s political arena. In an advertisement in the pro-independence Liberty Times, the party said independence is an option for Taiwan’s future – if the majority of Taiwanese accept the idea. The statement is a departure from KMT’s traditional stance, which used to reject Taiwan independence. (When the KMT embraces all Taiwanese views, then what need is there for the incompetent DPP as an alternative? Ma Ying-jeou clearly intends to make the DPP obsolete.)

– that the KMT’s listing of independence as one of many possible options for Taiwan has drawn a reaction from Beijing. The party confirmed that a high-level Chinese official had asked the KMT to clarify whether there was a change in its position, which is eventual unification with China. Beijing did not express displeasure after it was assured that the policy remains unchanged, said Mr Chang Jung-kung, KMT’s mainland affairs director. (It is still one of the options for the Taiwanese people, if they decide to test if China’s a sick cat or a real tiger.)

– that more people in Taiwan blame their President for the rising political tension between the island and China than they do his Chinese counterpart, according to a poll released. Among 806 respondents, 41.8% said Chen Shui-bian hurt cross-strait relations more with his words and deeds, while only 14.3% blamed Hu Jintao for the tensions, according to the poll conducted on by cable station ERA Television. (There would be all manners of peace as long as Chen keeps his mouth shut.)

– that Ma Ying-yeou has renewed his appeal for the island to maintain the status quo in its relations with rival China after recent advertisements by his party sparked concern from Beijing. “The status quo (across the Taiwan Strait) should be sustained as it is in the greatest interests of Taiwan,” Ma, chairman of the KMT, told reporters upon his return from Europe. (China can probably even accept this until 2047. Hahaha…)

– that Indonesia is set on beefing up its presence on its outermost islands to prevent territorial disputes with neighbouring countries. A team of 17 ministries and gover-min bodies is working on a detailed work plan to manage and develop over 92 small islands on the fringes of its territory this year. The initiative was first spelt out in a presidential decree signed on Dec 29. The 92 islands, each of which is less than 2,000sq km in size, are dotted along the sea border separating Indonesia and Singapore, Malaysia, East Timor, the Philippines, Vietnam, Australia and India. (Better do it before a particular neighbour decide that the last few rocks they took previously wasn’t enough.)

– that Mama-thir has defended Iran’s right to produce electricity under its nuclear programme. Mama-thir, in Cuba for a globalisation conference, sided with leftist Latin American lea-duhs sympathetic towards Iran in the international dispute. “Many countries use nuclear power in order to generate electricity, and I don’t see why Iran cannot use the same source of energy for producing electricity for their own country,” Mama-thir told journalists. (Say, if I said I am going to wipe your country off the face of this Earth, and then I start building reactors with the potential to build the weapons necessary to carry out my threat, will you trust me, Mama?)

Singapore This Week

– that Lim Boon Heng Bodok, who led his GRC to a resounding 79.8% victory in the last general election is raring for another battle at the polls. He called on the opposition to contest in Jurong GRC, saying the WP and SDA should put up a fight if the SDP failed to field a team of candidates in the coming general election. Speaking to about 250 people at a Chinese New Year dinner at Jurong Green Community Club, Mr Lim hoped that residents would be given a chance to ‘cast their verdict on the work of their MPs’. (Ask the PM to turn the GRC back into a SMC and you will get your chance.)

– that Lao Lee threw a suggestion to opposition MPs Low Thia Khiang in Hougang and Chiam See Tong in Potong Pasir: They could contest in GRCs if they could now find four or five candidates to form a team as good as the PAP’s. (And if the entire team screwed up, we will return to the ‘joyous’ days of one party rule. Thanks, but no thanks.)

– that Singapore has disputed a recent Malaysian newspaper report which said the Causeway is a source of pollution in the Johor Straits. Singapore’s High Commission to Malaysia has written to the newspaper editor on the matter. Malaysia’s New Straits Times quoted an expert on water quality as saying ‘the only way out now is to demolish the Causeway and release the water’. The expert claimed a report had found conclusive evidence that discharge from the Kranji sewage and Senoko plants had contributed to the deterioration of water quality in the Strait. (Interesting how everytime disputes arise when our elections are near.)

– that those under 17 spotted loitering in void decks, parks and other public places after 11pm may be stopped by cops, who will talk to them and may even write to their parents. The police want them off the streets late at night for their own safety and to curb rising youth crime. A police spokesman said last night: “As an added service to parents, officers will assess the need to inform them through mail of their child’s whereabouts.” (Is that a not so subtle hint to some parents that they aren’t doing their jobs properly?)

– that a phone is being pinched, snatched or forced from its owner every two hours. Criminals’ obsession with slick and expensive phones – termed the ‘crime of our times’ by social workers – has reached a point where thugs do not even bother asking for the wallets of those they are robbing. What is also fuelling the surge in cellphone thefts is the insatiable market for cheap second-hand phones, which makes the sale of stolen property very lucrative. (And when will they do the sensible thing to block IMEI numbers?)

– that second-hand phone dealers are required by law to check the identity cards of those who want to sell phones. They have to keep records of the phone’s particulars, the date of purchase and the name and contact details of the seller. If they do not, they can be fined $100. If they repeatedly fail to keep proper records, the shop owner can be jailed for up to six months and have his licence suspended. (Maybe they need to have a few high profile sentencing of mobile phone thieves as a deterrent effect.)

– that the tighter checks do not always mean second-hand phone shops turn away sellers who do not want to leave their name or contact details. Out of 40 shops which The Sunday Times team visited, at least eight were willing to discuss under-the-table deals outside their premises. Said one of them, who gave his name as Andy: “We will take your phone and sell it in Malaysia or Batam for you.” (It’s high time phones come with some kind of self-destruct timer, whereby the owner needs to reset every now and then with a base station at home.)

– that the strict watch on second-hand phone shops has forced thieves to turn to online auction sites like Yahoo and eBay as their marketplace. A search through both these sites show at least 300 sellers in Singapore offering mobile phones with ‘no accessories or charger included’. (IDA and the Telcos should stop playing taichi.)

– that a civil servant sewer serpent was charged over hoax e-mails about terrorist attacks. Neo Khoon Sing, 36, an NEA senior manager was charged with e-mailing false alarms to gover-min feedback websites about possible terrorist and bomb attacks. (Just like an ancient Chinese King playing around with smoke signals to fool his own vassals, such hoaxes is not funny.)

– that some 700,000 Singapore men who are serving National Service and former NSmen who have completed their duty received a special cash ‘salute’ to recognise their contributions and sacrifice. They will receive cash payouts of between $100 and $400. Old soldiers will benefit the most from the one-time ’40th Anniversary NS Bonus’ announced. They will each receive $400 on May 1. That same day, men in full-time NS and those in Operationally Ready NS units who have not finished their NS training cycles will receive $100. Though their cash bonus is smaller than that of NSmen who have finished their training cycles, those still serving NS will be eligible for a permanent award worth $300 once their NS liabilities end. (And those who failed to serve NS should be made to pay to defray some of the cost.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that chimpanzees have been shown not to come to the aid of others, even when it would pose no cost to themselves. (That’s why they are still ‘monkeys’. And there’s a lot of these in human skin.)

Insane Utterances of the Week:
钱无法买到快乐和健康。但某种程度上至少能麻醉痛苦。

Mid-Life Crisis: When you are qualified for the job, employers found you too old. And when they don’t mind your age, you just find so much requirements on the list, and you just do not have what it takes to do the job.

The Stupid Shitty-Porean Award

– that a housewife was sentenced to two weeks’ jail for ordering her maid out onto a ledge to hang the laundry, resulting in the 22-year-old Indonesian plunging eight floors to her death. The court rejected Ngu Mei Mei’s contention that it was her mother-in-law, not her, who wanted the clothes hung out on the ledge. (The judge is wise.)

The World This Week

– that Warmonger Bush said he understands why the nation he has led for five years has become more anxious, and he urged people to have confidence in him. Bush maintained his optimistic message in a lengthy speech at the Grand Ole Opry House that was designed to build momentum from the previous night’s State of the Union address. But in a rare acknowledgment of the troubled times on his watch, he tried to show empathy with the public’s worries. (Do something about the deficits, man.)

– that U.S. politicians and rights groups have condemned technology giants Google, Microsoft, Cisco, and Yahoo for collaborating with China to censor the Internet. In a briefing by the Congressional Human Rights Caucus, the four U.S. companies were accused of putting profits before principles in their push into the Chinese market. “They should not let profits take precedence over traditional democratic values such as freedom of speech,” said Representative Tim Ryan, who led the briefing. (Companies should a apolitical. All this about freedom of speech is but a load of politicking bull.)

– that Warmonger’s 2007 budget seeks a nearly 5% increase in Defense Department spending, to $439.3 billion, with significantly more money for weapons programs, according to senior Pentagon officials and documents obtained by The Associated Press. (So much for balancing the budget and trimming the deficits.)

– that the Bush administration Regime defended a domestic spying program, saying it was tightly targeted only at people suspected of having ties to al Qaeda, but a Republican senator who is to lead hearings on it said he believes the White House acted outside the law. (Too bad you got eavesdropped upon even if you are not Al Qaeda.)

– that U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales insisted to skeptical lawmakers that monitoring Americans’ phone calls and email messages without a warrant was a necessary part of the ‘war on terror’. The secret gover-min program has provoked a storm of opposition, but Gonzales refused to tell the Senate Judiciary Committee whether the eavesdropping had led to charges or other results. Warminger Bush authorized the domestic spying without the usual court warrants after the September 11, 2001 attacks. (The question is what’s there to stop shitheads like him from eavesdropping on everyone using that as an excuse!)

– that a heroin-smuggling ring in Colombia surgically implanted drugs inside Labrador puppies that were then sent to the U.S., according to police. Authorities in Colombia found six labrador puppies ready to be shipped to the U.S. They had been opened up and 14 packages of liquid heroin, each weighing 3kg, had been inserted. The smugglers had let the puppies’ fur grow to cover the scars then readied them for export. Three died from infections contracted during the surgery. (The perpetrators of this heinous crime should be drowned in their own urine.)

– that Donald Rumsfool likened Chavez’s rise to power to that of Adolf Hitler. Chavez shot back, “The imperialist elite of the United States put Hitler in power, armed Saddam Hussein so he could attack the Islamic revolution of Iran, armed Bin Laden to fight the USSR, enabled the grand dictators that attacked the peoples of Latin America for a hundred years.” (Hopefully, Chavez’s got more balls than Saddam when the U.S. come to get him.)

– that newspapers across Europe have reprinted caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad to show support for a Danish paper whose cartoons have sparked Muslim outrage. Seven publications in France, Germany, the Netherlands, Italy and Spain all carried some of the drawings. (Reproduce it in Singapore and you probably get slapped with sedition charges.)

– that the furore in the Muslim world over the publication of cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed in Western media raged on as a battle line was drawn between freedom of the press and respect for Islam. (Why expect respect from the kafir?)

– that the rising tide of anger in the ‘Palestinian’ territories over the publication of cartoons of Prophet Mohammed took a sinister turn with growing threats against European targets. Gunmen in the West Bank briefly detained a German national amid the Muslim furore over the cartoons, some of which depicted the prophet as a terrorist. (Taking it out on those innocent is always all so easy.)

– that Spain’s leading newspaper El Pais became part of a growing international row by publishing a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammad on its front page. Newspapers in France, Germany, Spain, Switzerland and Hungary have reprinted caricatures originally published in Denmark, arguing that press freedom is more important than the protests and boycotts they have provoked. Muslims consider any images of Mohammad to be blasphemous. (So whatever happen to social responsibilities? Is that NOT anymore important than ‘press freedom’? And if the press has the ‘freedom to offend’, then why deny the Muslims the ‘freedom of expressing anger’, even violently?)

– that in Teheran veteran revolutionary cleric Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani condemned the European press, but urged the faithful to respond calmly. “We need to put forward our calm and compassionate side, our gentleness. It is enough to look at the Koran,” he said. (Now here’s someone who is actually talking sense. And hopefully he’s not saying one thing in public and doing something else in private.)

– that contrary to conventional wisdom, depictions of Prophet Muhammad as well as lesser Muslim prophets are carried in the Islamic world. Persian artists painted images of Prophet Muhammad centuries ago. Prophet Muhammad, however, is sometimes portrayed with light shining from where his face would be, or as a boy before he assumed his religious mission. (What’s the point here? Non of these were disrecpectful, degrading and offensive to anybody.)

– that a Muslim demonstrator who imitated a suicide bomber in London to protest over cartoons satirising the Prophet Muhammad is a convicted drug dealer. Khayam has apologised to those affected by the 7 July bombs, saying his protest was as ‘insensitive’ as the cartoons. (That’s the same realization that the irresponsible papers which published that crap has yet to come to.)

– that terrorist cleric Abu Hamza al-Masri has been found guilty by a London jury on 11 terror-related charges, including inciting murder and fomenting racial hatred. He has been sentenced to seven years in prison after being found guilty on 11 terror-related charges, including soliciting murder and inciting racial hatred. (Just seven years? What about a gag order on him for life? Or maybe there’s some obscure law that requires the removal of his tongue?)

– that France is prepared to take back asbestos from a decommissioned warship that is headed for an Indian ship-breaking yard. French Ambassador to India Dominique Gerard says it is willing to take the step if that is what India decides. Greenpeace says the ship, the Clemenceau, is carrying hundreds of tonnes of asbestos and should not be allowed to reach its
destination. (Why the evil frogs didn’t simply dismantle the entire thing themselves is obvious.)

– that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has said that his reported promise to abstain from sex until the April 9 general election was just a joke. “It was a joke,” he said during a talk show on state-run TV. “We were laughing, joking. I don’t abstain at all.” He added that ‘moderation’ was necessary ‘since I have so many commitments’. This was in response to an Italian daily report that Mr Berlusconi made the no-sex vow during a campaign rally in Cagliari on the island of Sardinia, with a popular TV preacher and his followers. (Did he just figured out that it isn’t worth it to abstain that long?)

– that an atheist who sued a small-town priest for saying that Jesus Christ existed has had his case thrown out of court. The judge said Luigi Cascioli should himself face charges for slandering Father Enrico Righi. Cascioli sued Father Righi in 2002 after the priest attacked him in print for casting doubt on the legitimacy of the Christian gospels. The atheist contends that Christianity relies on purely anecdotal evidence. Cascioli, 76, was once a trainee priest, but drifted away from the Church and has spent much of his life as a committed atheist and anti-religion campaigner. (Good judges like this one, with common sense, are hard to come by.)

– that the U.S. urged NATO to play a bigger role in helping peacekeeping efforts in Sudan’s conflict-ridden Darfur region amid reports of daily cross-border raids by gover-min backed militias into neighbouring Chad. Robert Zoellick, the U.S. deputy secretary of state, said NATO could offer more logistics, intelligence and planning assistance to the 7,000-strong African Union (AU) peacekeeping mission in Darfur, including the deployment of a small number of experts on the ground. (Darfur got no oil is it?)

– that an official close to ‘Palestinian’ President Mahmoud Abbas denied a report from Egypt that Hamas would have to recognize Israel to join the next gover-min. But the official, who declined to be identified, said the president would insist the new gover-min commit to implementing past agreements with Israel. (He also realise that he doesn’t have much bargaining chips to push it too far.)

– that Mahmoud Abbas and Egypt took a tough line with Hamas, saying it must renounce violence and recognize Israel if it wants to form the next ‘Palestinian’ gover-min. Hamas, which has spearheaded a wave of bloody attacks against Israel in recent years and defeated Abbas’s Fatah in parliamentary elections last week, turned down the demands but said it was willing to discuss the option of a truce. (Flip-flopping must be a necessary skill for politicians. And a truce with Hamas is about as good as commit suicide with mild poison.)

– that Hamas deserves to be recognized by the international community, and despite the group’s militant history, there is a chance the soon-to-be ‘Palestinian’ lea-duhs could turn away from violence, Jimmy Carter said. Carter, who monitored the ‘Palestinian’ elections in which Hamas handily toppled the ruling Fatah, added that the U.S. should not cut off aid to the ‘Palestinian’ people, but rather funnel it through third parties like the U.N. (Read: Trust that the cobra will soon stop using its poisoned fangs and allow someone else to feed it.)

– that the World Bank warned of a looming financial crisis for the ‘Palestinian’ Authority brought on by a ballooning wage bill as Israel snubbed U.S. calls to unblock funds owed to its neighbours. The World Bank report underlined the implications for a Hamas-led gover-min if Western powers curtailed aid payments by detailing how nearly half of an 800 million dollar budget deficit last year was financed by foreign donors. (Hamas claims to do the work of God. Let them ask God for the money.)

– that Shimon Peres, one of Israel’s elder statesmen, issued a scathing attack on Hamas, claiming the terrorists would never compromise after its stunning victory in ‘Palestinian’ parliamentary elections. Mr Peres, a Nobel peace prize winner who was a prime architect of the mutual recognition between Israel and Yasser Arafat’s PLO in 1993, said Hamas lea-duhs saw themselves as ‘messengers of heaven’ and would not compromise in any talks. (Prophetic. Almost.)

– that Peres was speaking as it appeared the Islamic world would come to the rescue of the ‘Palestinian’ Authority under Hamas, with Saudi Arabia in talks about providing more than £670 million to replace aid currently given by the EU and U.S. (We all know where the head of the serpent lies. In Riyadh.)

– that Hamas could agree to a ‘long-term truce’ with Israel only if it is willing to return to the 1967 borders and recognise the rights of ‘Palestinians’ to self-determination, its exiled lea-duh Khaled Meshaal told BBC radio. (How does someone agree to a ‘long-term truce’ with something they don’t recognise in the first place? Wanna buy time thru lying also use some brains lah.)

– that one hundred militants have enlisted to become suicide bombers in Afghanistan since the appearance of ‘blasphemous’ cartoons of Prophet Mohammed, a top Taliban commander said. Mullah Dadullah, one of the Taliban’s most senior military commanders, said that his Islamic extremist group had also offered a reward of 100 kilograms of gold to anyone who killed people responsible for the drawings. (Ironic. It is these clowns and the crimes they perpetuate that gave the pervert cartoonists the impetus and inspiration for their diabolical cartoons.)

– that reports that whale meat is being sold as dog food in Japan shows the industry there is desperately trying to stay afloat, Greenpeace Australia says. Greenpeace says whaling in the Southern Ocean would end if Japan cut subsidies to the industry because it was not commercially viable. The environmental group’s CEO Steve Shallhorn said gover-min subsidies kept the whaling industry, which was seen as representing Japanese tradition and culture, afloat despite poor demand for the meat. “We know there are tonnes and tonnes of whale meat in frozen storage all around Japan, and we know the price of whale meat is at an all time low,” he said. “The Japanese whaling industry is trying, but failing, to promote to people to eat whale meat, so it seems now they are pushing it upon the nation of dogs. I think it’s a desperate move.” (Dogs would eat whale because they don’t know better. But for those who knew better and yet eat it, what does that make them?)

– that Japan has enticed children with whale burger school lunches, sung the praises of whale meat in colourful pamphlets and declared whale hunting ‘a national heritage’. (Oh really? Didn’t know they were doing that near Australia since the dawn of time.)

– that the country has been caught in a dilemma: by rapidly expanding its much-criticised whaling programme, Japan now kills far more of the mammals than its consumers care to eat. The result is an unprecedented glut. Prices are plunging, inventories are full and promoters are scrambling to find new ways to get Japanese to eat whale. (So much for scientific research. It’s time to expose Japanese lies by demanding that they publish findings from all that ‘research’ they have done on EVERY whale killed.)

– that Japan does not regard China as a threat, the Japanese gover-min said. It said in a position paper, approved by the Cabinet, that it ‘does not think China has the intention to invade Japan’. It said a threat becomes actual only if a country’s capabilities to invade another are combined with an intention to invade, Kyodo news agency said. (China only becomes a threat when one decides to make it one.)

– that the view in the paper appears to represent a departure from a remark made by Japan’s foreign minister. “It’s a neighboring country with nuclear bombs, and its military expenditure has been on the rise for 12 years. It’s beginning to pose a considerable threat,” Mr Taro Aso Arsehole told a news conference in Tokyo. (Paranoid schizoprenia is a serious mental disorder.)

– that Taro Arsehole has said it is thanks to Japan’s colonisation that Taiwan has such high education standards today. His comments drew strong condemnation from China, which said the occupation ‘was an evil aspect of the Japanese militaristic invasion against China’. Arsehole said he believed Japan ‘did a good thing’ to Taiwan during its occupation from 1895 to 1945, citing the compulsory education system. “Thanks to the significant improvement in education standards and literacy (during colonisation), Taiwan is now a country with a very high education level and keeps up with the current era,” the Kyodo news agency quoted Arsehole as telling an audience in the city of Fukuoka. (Shameless. Someone should rape his daughter – if he has one – and then when she gives birth to a kid, shamelessly claims, “See? I did you some good. Now at least you have a grandchild.”)

– that Junk-ichiro Konkz-umi has indicated he may no longer speed a bill through parliament to allow female royal succession. Konkz-umi’s slower approach came one day after the news that Princess Kiko was pregnant, raising hopes a male heir may yet be born into the royal family. “I want to proceed cautiously so as not to make this a political tool,” Mr Konkz-umi said of the controversial bill. The bill was first proposed because no male royal has been born for 40 years. (Should just simply call for a referundum to abolish the monarchy.)

– that police in Hong Kong said yesterday that they are hunting a team of grave robbers who, media reports claim, raided the tomb of the wife of Asia’s richest man, Mr Li Ka Shing. Four men armed with what appeared to be guns and knives tied up two attendants at a Buddhist cemetery on the main island and removed the tombstone from the grave of Mrs Li Chong Yuet Ming, reports said. An air gun, three knives, an electric drill and other electrical equipment were found at the scene after the attendants managed to free themselves and call police hours later. Fortunately, the interred remains had not been disturbed. (There’s a Chinese curse that suits these criminals perfectly: 绝子绝孙。 [Translation: To have no sons and descendants.])

– that Chen Shui-bian has threatened to break a promise made in his inaugural speeches, saying that he is considering scrapping guidelines on reunification with China and the body that created them. Mr Chen made his remarks when he was giving out hongbao to mark the Chinese New Year in his hometown of Tainan. (The value of this person’s promise is worth far lesser than the paper it’s written on, and expires as quickly as the words are spoken.)

– that China condemned Chen Shui-bian’s plan to scrap 15-year-old official guidelines on unification, calling him a ‘troublemaker’ and ‘saboteur’ of peace and stability in Asia. Chen, seeking to shake off Beijing’s claim of sovereignty over self-ruled Taiwan, said that it was time to consider scrapping the island’s National Unification Council and its guidelines on unification with the mainland. (It is also time to consider scrapping the presidency and have a parliamentary system in Taiwan instead.)

– that the U.S. has rebuked Chen Shui-bian, warning him not to take actions that might precipitate unrest in the region. In an extraordinary move, Washington issued a statement reasserting that its policy towards Taiwan is governed by the one-China principle, the Taiwan Relations Act as well as the three US-China Joint Communiques. For the U.S., a real problem would be the abolition of the one-China principle, along with the other moves that Chen had threatened, such as revising Taiwan’s Constitution and holding a referendum on the new version next year. Washington has reacted furiously to these proposals, calling them ‘inflammatory’ and liable to upset the delicate relationships between China, Taiwan and the US. (The following Chinese term describes Chen perfectly: 不识时务。 [Translation: Failure to recognise the situation / Failure to understand the times.])

– that Chen has also come under fire from his own ruling party. “Why does our lea-duh keep getting humiliated publicly on the international stage?” DPP legislator Lin Cho-shui was quoted by the United Daily News as saying. While Mr Lin, a veteran lawmaker known for supporting independence for Taiwan, said he supported Chen’s idea, he also said that Taiwan’s policy ‘should be better planned with a long-term perspective’ in order to avoid it being stymied internationally. (Lin obviously hasn’t figure out that the entire Chen presidency is just a bad political soap opera that has gone on for too long.)

– that Indonesia’s president called on the media to draw a lesson from the publication of cartoons that have sparked Muslim protests worldwide, saying freedom of the press was not absolute. Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, lea-duh of the world’s most populous Islamic nation, also said he ‘can comprehend’ strong reaction from Muslims following the publication of caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad in a Danish newspaper. (What I ‘cannot comprehend’ is that Muslims were far weaker in their reaction to those who hijack their religion as a political mean to serve their own political ends.)

– that the action taken by Malaysian police to shave a group of men bald after they were caught playing mahjong at a coffeeshop during Chinese New Year has triggered widespread criticism, including from politicians and human rights groups. (New slogan for the Lunar New Year: Malaysia Botak!)

Singapore This Week

– that visiting Britain after the July bombings in London last year has convinced Dr Yaacob Ibrahim, the Minister-in-charge of Muslim Affairs, that teachers of Islam are a key force in the battle against extremism. And it boils down largely to ensuring that the true teachers correct – and not ignore – false preachers. (And discredit the charlatans too.)

– that Singapore’s office workers are playing at work – and making up for it by working at home. A study by the NUS Business School last year found that the average employee spends almost 3.2 hours a week surfing the Internet, sending e-mail to friends, chatting online and even playing online games during office hours. This can add up to almost 20 working days a year, based on an eight-hour workday. (They need a network administrator from hell.)

– that to make sure their tasks are completed, employees make up for it by working online from home for an average of 4.5 hours a week, the same study found. That adds up to 28 working days a year. (On second thoughts, they are already punished. Poetic.)

– that using the company’s Internet access for personal purposes during work hours, or cyberloafing, has become one of the top distractions at work, overtaking traditional time-frittering activities like socialising in the office pantry and running errands. (The Internet is for porn… grab your d**k and double click… For Porn Porn Porn… Wahahaha… Don’t look at me!! This is from a Google video.)

– that Singapore youths are still downloading or copying songs for free. A recent survey by the Singapore Polytechnic shows only 5% paid for the songs they downloaded from the Internet, while 61% did not. The majority admit they get their songs for free by downloading them or copying them from friends. (What else is new?)

– that if you see a sexily-clad sweet young thing riding a bright red scooter zipping by your local coffee shop or wet market, she’s just one of several sexual health investigators who, starting this coming Valentine’s Day, will be going deep into the heartlands on Vespa scooters to conduct a year-long sex survey. The study – which will poll 5,000 Singaporeans on areas like the quality of their sex life and views on unprotected sex – is the brainchild of Singapore’s resident sex guru, Dr Wei Siang Yu. (It won’t be surprise that the survey discovered that some actually have a good quality sex life. Just not with their wives.)

– that in one of the most glaring lapses spotted at a gover-min agency, the CPF Board failed to pay $7.4 million in insurance claims to the dependants of 216 members who died. The board explained that the error arose because a wrong method was used to identify whether a dead member’s insurance policies, under the Dependants’ Protection and Home Protection schemes, were still valid. As a result, it had used the date of the report of the death rather than the actual date of death to verify the validity of the policies. (Really doesn’t matter. Can the CPF Board also pay the accrued interest resulting from the lapse to the dependents?)

– that it took more than two years before the families of 108 deceased members were compensated, with 43 of them having to wait more than eight years. In 15 of the unpaid claims, the policies of dead members were automatically renewed and premiums deducted from their CPF accounts even after their deaths. (ICA computer never tie down with CPF? How come change address change at police station using this thing called OSCAR, CPF will know but when person ‘mati’ CPF Board doesn’t know?)

– that a NG TZE YIK wrote to the Stooge Times forum on the matter of ‘students waking up too early to go to school’ and asked if Singaporean parents are pampering the kids too much. (The man is right on man! Back in my days I also wake up around same time and take bus to school why no one say I waking up too early? Play less xbox and computer games and sleep earlier then sure will have enough sleep lor.)

– that on follow-up, a MS JOANNA TEH HUIYING asked, “So why do parents blame the system for their children’s lack of sleep time when their children choose to sleep late? I hope Singaporean parents will limit their children’s ‘playtime’, not only to teach them the importance of time management, but also to get their priorities straight.” (As Jacky Chan has pointed out, some parents are entirely incapable of parenting.)

Trivial, Jokes and Thoughts from Discussions

– that Xiasuay has come under fire for accusing foreign workers of molestation at the Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve street parties in Orchard Road. She said in a Dec 28 posting that foreign workers are ‘usually the ones’ to molest ‘because they are not in their own country, and they think they can get away with it’. (Singaporean males no ti-koh peh is it? Xiasuay should go stand at any Geylang lorongs from 8 to 14, for just 5 minutes one evening, to find out.)

– that Xiasuay had specified the nationality of the foreign workers in an earlier entry, but replaced it with a general term after she was lambasted online. She also wrote: “So yes, I don’t like our foreign workers, whatever race they are – but you know the kind we all dislike the most.” The Internet community condemned the posts as ‘racist’, ‘irresponsible’ and ‘insensitive’. Some called for her blog, which attracts over 20,000 visitors daily – mostly teens – to be shut down. (About damn time they put an end to the garbage she’s spewing online anyway.)

– that ‘genius’ MS SUZANA JORAMI wrote to the ST Online Forum and asked “Why does McDonald’s at East Coast Parkway allow dogs on its premises?” simple because McDonald’s East Coast Parkway has a lot of customers dining at the restaurant with their dogs as it is near the beach where the owners walk their dogs. (Here’s a joke, and no offense intended: “This is the year of the dog. So this year give some priviledges to dogs.”)

– that she said dogs should not be allowed at the restaurant as McDonald’s is a halal fast-food joint and Muslims are not allowed to come into contact with dogs. (1. She can avoid that by not going to that McDonald’s. 2. Halal food simply means that the food is prepared in a way acceptable to Muslim. 3. You can still honour your God by being pro-active, not reactive. Granted that the pet owner was inconsiderate and insensitive. But if the animal isn’t leaving, you can, even though you have all the blasted right in the universe to demand that the owner and the animal do so. It seems to me that tolerance for Ms Suzana only goes ONE WAY.)

– that kung-Fu star Jackie Chan says he is dismayed by the rising number of parents who spoil their children – something he said he noticed on the set of his latest movie, Project BB, in Hong Kong. (Maybe Jacky ought to give these parents a good spanking they will never forget. Or we can make robots in Jacky’s image to spank those little tyrants.)

– that Britney Spears has defended holding her baby son on her lap while driving, saying she was trying to escape the paparazzi. She described the car incident as a ‘horrifying, frightful encounter’. She said she had been scared for her son after a recent incident when she was ‘trapped in my car without my baby by a throng of paparazzi’. (Get some pointers from Michael ‘Wacko’ Jackson on how to remain incognito, Smears. For e.g. Walk around town dressed up in a burqha or something like that.)

– that Madonna’s performance was struck from Malaysia’s television broadcast of the Grammy Awards because her skimpy outfit and steamy dance moves were too risque for audiences in the Muslim-majority nation, a network official has said. (It’s not great loss. She’s a has-been that’s not worth watching anyway.)

– that Brad Pitt wants a big homosexual movie role. The Hollywood hottie has been wowed by the success of ‘Brokeback Mountain’ and wants to find a script which will portray the ultimate homosexual love story. An insider said: “He wants it to be a story that appeals to both men and women and he wants it to be the edgiest work he’s done.” (That’s easy. Just dump Jolie, and be a real life homosexual. Then marry Elton John. And how you get to marry Elton, Mr Pitt, would be the story itself. I am quite sure it’s gonna sell.)